All I think about is money...
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| Sat, 10-17-2009 - 7:08pm |
and lack of!! My favorite line these days is "we can't afford it". That's all I say, think, breathe. I'm depressed, feel like I'm just existing here. I get up, go to work, come home and clean the house, feed the kids, and am by myself till my DH gets home late after the kids get to bed. He works a 50 hour week and I work full time as well, and we still are barely making it. We have been married 8 years and for most of that we've been struggling financially but the last year has been one of the toughest. We were doing good until last year about this time. DH had just got promoted at work, and was bringing in so much income. We thought, wow, finally we can pay off some debt and do some things we like, then bam! He had emergency surgery to have his gall bladder removed. To top it all off he had just bought a new car since we were with only one. At that time before he got sick, with the promotion we could afford probably 4 car payments a month.
So what happened is he was out of work for a total of a month, and lost his new position. He had to go back to an hourly salary, which pretty much sucks in comparison to the hours he works, and stress level. We could no longer afford our rent and those two car payments, so we moved out, closer to his parents and thankfully his sister in law was moving in a new house and we bought her trailer with some help and cosigning of his parents. I hate that we had to ask for help but otherwise we'd been on the street.
I had to go back to work, and my mother in law keeps my kids for about nothing. Our house payment is very low, but the car payments are killing us. We are close to paying one off, and at tax time we will probably have enough of a refund to do so. DH is talking about getting a PT job for the moment. With all our bills and gas, food, we are struggling so much, BUT make too much for anything like food stamps. We're in that middle bracket, make too much for assitance but not enough to live. I cut our grocery shopping list down so much this week but still think it's too much. We have less than $80 for food this week for our family of five. I'm trying to be strong and pray and figure out how to keep going. What hurt us too was last month I had a lot of hours missed on my paycheck, when my boss cut our hours. It just keeps getting better! :(
If anyone has any advice please let me know. I know selling his car wouldn't do a thing because we need two cars, and the resale wouldn't pay it off, so we'd be left with that bill too. Uggh, and this weather is SO gloomy, doesn't help.

I don't mean to sound harsh, and I understand it is 'water-under-the-bridge" but you made a terrible error in assuming two car payments.
You are in a tough spot. It is so agonizing to live each day under a cloud of debt and destitution! I have lived that for so many years. We got into trouble when we bought a house that was too much for us. We also had a huge car payment. Owed too much on the car to sell it and it guzzled gas like crazy! We finally had to use my grandmother's inheritance to pay it off and then we traded it in for a smaller, cheaper toyota corolla which is now broken down in our parking lot 5 years later!
I think the most important thing to do for your own sanity is to have a plan. If you have a plan, then you have hope. I have a family of 5 as well and we used to have a $75-80 dollar food budget. I recall how hard it is to feed a family on that amount and most of the time we'd give up halfway through the week and order pizza, but there were weeks where I'd really buckle down and try to make $80 dollars go FARRRrrrrrr. Rice in my rice cooker, potatoes and cutting up a pound of ground meat into 3 portions to get 3 different dinners out of them! Basically, make everything yourself, and fit all the leftovers into another dinner. I made the best enchiladas of my life using leftover rice, corn, chicken, beans. I have no idea what I put in there....everything but the kitchen sink, but boy were they good! Of course, I haven't been able to repeat them!
Try to think of only positive things. Live life by the minute. My husband works a horrible schedule. 50+ hours a week of hard, grueling hours. He comes home and he's a zombie. I stay home with the kids during the day to save on daycare and I teach piano at night and am a music director at a church on Sunday. We try our best. My husband also has a part time job that he does maybe once every few weeks. I have found ways to put that extra money towards my debt and I have been amazed at what I have accomplished just with $100 extra dollars here and there.
Keep coming to this board and you will get so much support and knowledge. The ladies here are fantastic.
Hugs to you. I hate those times when ALL I think and worry about is Money, Money, Money. So gloomy and depressing. But its hard to change those thoughts when that is our main concern!
We got into the two car payment trap and it sucks. Granted - we got two smaller cars with small (dencent) car payments but it still hurt. We were paying about $700/month for two car payments (that's total - not for one car) and it just was so hard. Anyway, now my DH's car is paid off and I owe about $5500 on my car. Yeah!!
ANY way you can put the car up for sale and just drive it around hoping someone might buy it? Can't hurt to try. Not much advice for you but to hang in there. Things will work out.
Seems shady that your DH lost his promotion over a medical emergency beyond his control. I would look into that with someone. Seems illegal if you ask me.
Believe me when I say I know what your going through.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. My suggestion would be first to list all your income and expenses on this board in order to get some feedback. Its amazing how you sometimes can't see the obvious solution because you're so panicked. The ladies here are great at helping you come up with ideas and ways to cut back.
A parttime job may not be such a bad idea. Anything to get a little income into the house and get you through this crunch is something to consider. A lot of places will be hiring Christmas help, so that may be the answer you need.
I am not sure where debt repayment fits into this, but if you have cut to the bone and still can't make it, perhaps Bancruptcy or Consumer Proposals are options? Again, I don't know, its hard to say when I don't have numbers.
Just know that you are not alone and you CAN do this. It will take a lot of hard work and readjusting priorites, but it can be done!
Bex -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."
Bex -
$80 a week for food:
Breakfasts are oatmeal bought generic in buld or pancakes from a generic mix on sale.
Lunches - sandwiches for all (I make 5 at 6AM every day.) Scratch cookies go in as well as apples or some fruit I can get bulk.
Dinners - Pasta and Prego, I buy rice by 50# bags for less than $10, make soups in a crock pot, tacos require very little hamburger, make homeade breads and pizza.
Coupons are generally a waste of time, if you can use that time selling things on Ebay you will probably be better off, and then just buy generic for less.
Hey our grandmothers cooked from scratch and didn't even have a clothers dryer or microwave.
-Marie