My Husband Is In Denial!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2009
My Husband Is In Denial!
23
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 4:49pm

Hi-


My husband is in denial of our huge debt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 5:42pm

Ugh - what a terrible situation to be dealing with.


First off, recognize and respect your husbands fears/concerns. Filing BK will effect your credit for a good 7+ years. In that time - DO you plan on needing/buying a new car? A new house?


If the answer to those questions is yes then you two need to sit and talk those things out.


If the answer is no - then what do you have to lose (IMO.) We just cancelled a credit card that we paid off that had a balance of $20,000 on it. People tried to talk us out of it and we knew it would ding our credit. We have good credit BUT we knew we were not making any major purchases for years. We have cars that are 3 years old and have a home we are happy in. We have time for our credit to get better so we didn't mind cancelling the large balance card.


Does that make sense?


IMO - if the consulation is FREE then your husband is a foolish to not want to go and HEAR what they are saying. No commitment. Just listening.


He needs to see your monthly income on paper and see your c/c bills on paper. Perhaps then he'll see that the two don't add up. Some people "learn" differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2009
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 6:33pm

Hi-


We won't need a new house, but my husband probably will need a new or used car in the next 7 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 7:12pm

Ok,




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 7:39pm

I don't doubt that its hard to live off the income you have with all the massive debt load you are carrying. BUUUUUUUUT, you gotta make life changes if you want your life to be debt free. Can you relocate your home and commute further? I don't doubt that is NOT an ideal situation but if it saves you a lot of $$ monthly - might it be a consideration?


If not, what about a second job? Or a seasonal job? Or cutting down on household things like cable? Cell phone packages? At this point to pay your minimums you need money. Can you sell something on ebay?


It's hard when you see those around you making a certain figure or living a certain way but IMO that's how some people got into financial messes. They tried to keep up with the Jones'. I live in a townhome. It's got plenty of space for our family of 4 and we are happy here. People have suggested I move to a single family home since the housing market is cheap here but I wouldn't think of it. I have NO desire to add more expenses to our lifestyle when we can afford the one we have. Sorry, started rambling there.


Anyway, as you know - something needs to change. You and DH need to figure out what. It's not gonna be easy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2009
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 9:31pm

Hi-


Checked on moving further away, and its way more expensive to commute for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 9:49pm

Sounds totally like an income issue, as opposed to a debt issue.


If your husband is off work, his job is to find work - at least 6 hours a day.




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2009
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 9:56pm

Hi-


The problem is that our monthly minimum payments for the cards are more than our salaries combined, so that is why we are considering bankruptcy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2009
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 10:03pm

Marie-


My husband is working now, albeit part time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2005
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 12:38am

In your situation, BK may make sense.

Wedding
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2009
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 6:59am

Was your husband making a good income at whatever his career was before?

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