Reassessing

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Reassessing
12
Sat, 11-14-2009 - 2:59pm

As you know I have paid off about $16,500 of credit card debts this year.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
In reply to: skibunyns
Sat, 11-14-2009 - 3:24pm

I totally hear your frustration...


You and your hubby are on very different pages of financial philosophy...


You are breaking your back...for what...


If you worked less could you spend more time on your home ?


Marie I have learned you can love somebody to bits but that does not necessarily mean you will ever be financially compatible...


Life is too short ...to work work and work...doesn't matter how much you enjoy your work...does not beat leisure pursuits or socializing...


I really admire your perseverance but is it worth physical and emotional health...


Duke


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: skibunyns
Sat, 11-14-2009 - 3:54pm

Oh, Duke, he is not a spendthrift at all. He hunts and fishes and could probably live off the land.




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: skibunyns
Sat, 11-14-2009 - 6:23pm

Hi Marie,


I appreciated your honest post.

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: skibunyns
Sat, 11-14-2009 - 7:55pm

(((Marie)))

I can understand the frustration, and I totally get the hamster wheel. While my DH is on the same page, we still spend ridiculous amounts of money each month on overdraft fees ($35 each), pay by phone fees ($15 +/-) and late fees ($10-$15). It's so frustrating because I KNOW we'd be another $200 a month ahead (or more) but we rarely have a better choice than the one we make. I know it's not the same as what you're going through, but gosh, I feel the frustration. And our house is small, in need of repair (annoying stuff like the crown molding that never went up and the counter that is falling apart and the ONE bathroom) and there is CLUTTER and I hate it. I'm doing my best to get rid of stuff but it feels like it comes in faster than it goes. The temptation to be "normal" and have a ton of debt and a fabulous, clean, clutter-free house is just insane. I don't have any advice and I know we're not even in the same boat, but I just felt this big "whoosh" of understanding when I read your post. (((Hugs)))!

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FIVE KIDS.

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: skibunyns
Sat, 11-14-2009 - 10:31pm

Hi Sarah,


I'm curious...if you are flaking 20k thus far this year, why are you incurring overdraft fees?

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: skibunyns
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 3:50pm

Because our situation still stinks. We're short 2k a month, and we don't always get what we need when we need it. DH and I both do "side work" (he gets a paycheck plus works on the side and I freelance) so only the paycheck can be planned around. It's not enough to cover what we cover when we have to cover it, and because we don't have credit cards we don't have the one perk I can credit them with, and that's a lower monthly obligation as the balance goes down. About 10k of our flakes earlier in the year went toward getting rid of a bill that was $175/mo. Now most are going toward getting rid of one that's $225 or so a month. We can't just "pay our bills" and flake the extra. We are in a constant struggle to make it, and we did have an ef and lived without fees until that tax bill hit in June. (They had agreed on a payment plan and we were sticking to it and had it in writing, but they decided we had six weeks to pay it all and it's not like we were going to sue the city, so we didn't have a choice). Since then, the flakes have cut WAY down but we still try to knock that bill out when we can. It may not make sense to anyone who can meet their budget, but I'm sure anyone who struggles week to week can appreciate it.

Most of the flakes were from the first part of the year. Lately I've forced a $400 month/flake to catch up one bill and haven't done much else. But what it comes down to is maybe the electric bill due the day before we'll get any money and we can pay a $35 overdraft fee and know it'll be covered or we can have it cut off, lose groceries/pay for gas for the generator, I can't work so we lose another $300-$500 a week(I'm not running a computer off the generator), and then end up having to pay at least a $65 reconnect fee and maybe a deposit on top of that. To us, we'd rather pay the $35.

So, I repeat, most of the flakes were from the first part of the year before things went downhill with that tax bill fiasco. The rest are just an effort to get things under control each month and the only way we can do that on a long-term basis is to pay down bills, so that's where it goes. Not "pretty" by any means, but it's reality.

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FIVE KIDS.

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: skibunyns
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 6:03pm

Thanks for the clarification.

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: skibunyns
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 6:50pm

I'm not proud. Not thrilled at all. I'm glad that some things can be measured in black and white because this year has been the hardest in spite of all our progress, and the temptation to throw in the towel is a big one. But it won't get better until we get to the other side, and if you give an inch debt will take a mile. Stupid &$&#* debt.

Our electric usually is that far behind when we have that situation. I do the partial payment thing to stave them off, but when the disconnect notice comes it's always a whopper. Our stupid drafty house is heck on an electric bill in Jan, Feb, and Mar. Even with the plastic over the windows and having them caulked shut, it's still a losing battle. The woodstove cuts about $100/mo so that helps. Without it, it's $300-$400 a month over those months. (No gas bill, though). It's just this big juggling act when you can't cover the monthly minimums, and the key to it all would be to stop juggling. Sure, LOL. Sign me up!

Anyway, I just hope we can start 2010 off on track like we did this year. Another good burst like that and we're bound to be in better shape, even if the second half of the year is hard. I know it'll be hard for me to work after the baby is born so we're praying for a good start.

Thanks re the credit cards. It's my one redeeming quality right now, LOL.

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FIVE KIDS.

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-1999
In reply to: skibunyns
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 8:16pm

Is there a season when you can get ahead?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: skibunyns
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 8:31pm

Don't get discouraged, Sarah.

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