the economy and relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
the economy and relationships
8
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 1:14am

Today I found out that my coworker in the next office is getting a divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 7:12am

Bahahah no worries Robyn, I didn't think it was. My situation was made by bad choices. To be honest, I am so insulated in this government city that I haven't really noticed any difference due to the economy except for really great sales (I hope that doesnt' offend anyone, I know so many are struggling).


I think that the economy does impact relationships. BUT the funny thing is I was reading and article (I'll try and find it) that say divorce filings are down in a recession (people can't afford it) and then peak afterward. I guess they decide to split (stress compounded by financials likey) stay together for financial reasons and then split when they can. Its sad really.


Bex -


"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."


Bex -

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 4:58pm
I've actually heard that divorces are down because no one can afford them, but that's just the legal definition of a relationship. I know of a lot of relationships that are going downhill due to money stress. (Mine, thankfully, isn't one of them.) I do know of a couple of divorces that are made more difficult because having to sell the marital home means a huge loss of equity that neither party can afford, but in both of those cases I don't know if money caused the original problems or not. It just seems like, in general, that everyone is a mess these days. DH and I were just talking about it yesterday, how everyone he knows seems to be upside down and inside out. He knows a lot of guys who complain a LOT about how much shopping their wives do - one likes to spend $1500 on purses - so I imagine those relationships might be strained right now ... to put it mildly.

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Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 6:37pm

Hi Robyn,


Here's a link on the subject that you might find interesting (I always like to provide some information when I post!):


http://www.totaldivorce.com/news/articles/society/recession-and-divorce-link.aspx


What disturbs me is not so much the spike in divorce, but the welfare of couples FORCED to stay together because of the economy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Sun, 11-22-2009 - 1:57pm

I am like girlygirl. I am in a heavy federal government area. Now that being said what I do is highly specialized and in demand. I have friends and famly that are having a rough time so I have cut my spending way back because I do not like to make them feel bad at all.


Most people I know are sticking together because they can't afford to split. My hubby is gone most of the month for his job. We have our issues and most of the time we get along.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Sun, 11-22-2009 - 8:20pm

Very interesting link.


Thanks to everyone for posting your thoughts and opinions.


Robyn


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 12:33pm

This has nothing (I don't think anyway) with divorce, but it does have to do with the lack of money.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 4:55pm

When things are good they are good, but when things are bad every little annoyance gets magnified, including the money, or a job loss or bad spending habits.

A split is supposed to be simple. You have two columns on a piece of paper, one with assets and one with liabilities. It is not simple though because usually there is a house involved that one person wants to keep. Well that person can not usually afford to keep it because they would have to buy out their spouse. That is fine if the couple has investments that equal the equity in the home but it is not usually the case. Usually the couple has a few investments and a lot of debt. So they have to sell the house, and cash in their investments to pay off the debt. Then they have reestablishment costs and live on one income. That is why it is so financially terrible to get divorced. You can't share living expenses and it is like starting over or worse.

It is not easy in any sense of the word and a very difficult thing to go through every time. I feel sorry for people that are incredibly unhappy and stay for those reasons though even if it takes a few years to get back on your feet.

Its a tough one!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 11:09pm

It's a good time for some people to pull the trigger on their divorce. Reason being incomes being down less support gets ordered to be paid out.

Ouch. It's the ugly truth.

When they show their profit and loss statement to the judge, it's lower now than say the last three or four years. So, the judge grants lower amounts for child support, etc.

And yeah, divorces have been very high around me unfortunately, leaving me feel empty at times.