How do you deal with disappointment when

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
How do you deal with disappointment when
29
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 8:00pm

How do you deal with disappointment when you don't have the cash for an activity or vacation...


Five friends are headed down to Belize for ten days

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 8:49pm

It's really hard when you see all your friends going out and doing fun things that you know you can't afford. We just got together with friends for a birthday party and they were talking about all the vacations they are going on in the next year. In April they are going to the Dominican Republic. In May, the wife is going to Montreal for a Bachelorette party and in June, the husband is going to Las Vegas for a Bachelor party and then in July they are going to Maine AND THEN in October they are planning their 4th trip to Disney world in 3 years! Sometimes I'm just like 'WHAT'!!!!! I mean, how much money do they make. They have 3 kids and a home. And I happen to know that they don't have any credit card debt. It must be nice!

I'm not sure I'm going to be any help when it comes to dealing with disappointment. I try to find something else that's going to be fun...like being out of debt!!! Small goals. Or I'll plan something really simple. A day trip...and then I'll try to make that day trip cost as little as possible. That is rewarding. I have found so many great deals...even free things to do since having to deal with being broke! I think that this debt journey has actually taught me how to be happy in the simple things. I will honestly say that I am happy to be who I am today even though I'm a cheap, stingy, never go on vacation, cut coupons, scrimp and save kind of gal!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2008
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 9:55pm

I too am struggling with this. For the past few years we have wanted to go to Mexico with my mom and step dad. I really thought that this was the year we would be able to go. About six months ago I had made a deal with myself that unless I had the money to pay off my car I would not consider it. I think I will have the money for my car, however, my husband and I have made a decision that we need to forgo a vacation this year to complete some home improvements. I know that this is what we need to do, but I am so disappointed.

I keep telling myself that I will enjoy the next vacation more because I will be out of debt and we will pay cash for the vacation. I can't help feeling sorry for myself sometimes though.






iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 10:52pm
Not sure if this will help much, but maybe get out your pictures from past expensive vacations that you charged, and look at the pictures and then figure out when you FINALLY got done paying the debts from that vacation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 11:42pm

Um, stuff like this used to really hurt me.

Then I read a book called 'the millionaire next door' and it taught me that rich people live WAY below their means, even after they get rich.

It fueled my fire and gave me the strength to stay on a frugal path and not feel badly about it.

It taught me that luxury vacations can really hurt a budget down the road.

Who knows, in a year you might be the one amongst your friend with a nice clean zero balanced debt load and they may be confessing to you that they really didn't have the money for this trip but couldn't or wouldn't stop trying to keep up with the 'Jones'.

Just a thought and good for you for not adding to your debt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 8:04am

I know that for me personally it was hard at first to say "no" and not feel it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 8:37am

Duke,


You will realize during your debt journey that you said NO to your friends and that vacation but you said YES to yourself and your finances. In the end you will realize saying yes to yourself is more important.


You are doing great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 8:38am

This is the story of my life.

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 9:24am

I suggest you reflect on your past trips.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 9:47am

That WOULD be tough! Ugh.

Not to sound like a cheeseball, but I have Dave Ramsey's little mantra "Live like no one else now and you'll LIVE like no one else later" or however it goes. Meaning kick your own butt now and you'll have financial freedom for the rest of your life. That's worth way more than (sigh) 10 days in Belize. I'm not a Dave nut, mind you, but that part that makes sense I've hung on to like a life raft. I figure the rest of 'em can spend their money and enjoy it. When I'm debt free and can do it in cash without a bill hangover coming, I'll love it. Debt lessons are best learned when you're young - or sooner rather than later - and I look at a LOT of people around me and know they haven't figured that out yet. It's a nasty consolation on my part, but it gets me through the day. I'll take it.

Photobucket





Baby Names - BabyNamey.com Name Badge Ticker

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 1:23pm

Disappointment I can relate to. My sister just went on a trip to Florida. When it is minus 40 here and all my friends are going on a trip somewhere warm I get jealous!! I can't help it. In reality though my other goals are more important. I want my store to be stable so I can sleep at night as that is how I make my income and I can't leave the store for more than a couple days right now. I want to be able to teach my kids about sacrifice and say yes later on about money. I don't want to be hiding from them because I have no money for part of their education and my dream goal is to save for a new house. That has to be more important than a trip. I try to dream about decorating it when I am down. I may go on a trip one day but not this year and probably not next.

Do not sacrifice your future like a comfy retirement(I know your retirement funds are looking good!) for things you want today.


Pages