Am I being petty about this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2009
Am I being petty about this?
10
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 3:09pm

OK -- I'll try to be brief

Lila
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 5:12pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 5:16pm

I don't think its petty. Perhaps they are feeling the crunch and were trying to stop exchanging gifts without saying it? Some people would be too embarassed to admit they couldn't aford it.


Regardless, keep the money and if by some miracle they do get your kids a gift, just say something like "oh I thought we weren't doing that this year, sorry about that" and then take the opportunity to clarify. I am cutting people off of my list that I rarely see or don't get a gift from. This year I really need to downsize! I still enjoy their company, I just can't afford the gifts!


Hope it works out!


Bex -


"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-1999
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 8:40pm
I have a rule about giving. I give gifts when I feel moved to do so. I have long since given up keeping track. It was easier that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:30am

I agree with the PPs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2009
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 10:47am
you could always get the gift cards to a place you would shop, if they don't
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 2:21pm

I would not buy the gift cards. If the kids ask why they didn't get one, tell them to ask their parents. $270 is a of money to be gifted when it sounds like you are miffed about parting with it, for what ever the reason.


Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 9:50pm

When DH was a kid his grandma had a theory. If she sent a gift and he didn't send a thank you, that was the last gift. That said, based on nothing else BUT the fact that they didn't send thanks or acknowledgment (other than, AHEM, telling you which store to send them to) then I absolutely would NOT send a gift.

On that note, my stepdaughter would not send a thank you note to us for ANYTHING so once she hit about 10 we replaced one of her Christmas/birthday gifts with a collection of thank you cards, stamps, and personalized address labels. We repeated the gift every year until we FINALLY got a thank you note. Once that happened, we sent "real" gifts again and she kept up the notes ... but only to us. LOL. We couldn't exactly stop giving her gifts as her parent/step-parent, but darn if we didn't get our point across! (And kept a great relationship the whole time).

I know Christmas is for kids, but that's no excuse for rude behavior. If not getting the gift from you ruins their Christmas, then they need a wake up call to what the season really is about!

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Sarah
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 12:20pm

Sarah, that is an interesting way to approach things with your SD.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-1998
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 3:52pm
This is also kind of petty & cheap, DH and I were discussing presents earlier this month about how much and who we should be buying for and it just happened that a radio ad came on about donating to a worthy charity. So he said we should just donate some $$ to a local charity and send everyone a card saying that money was donated to a charity instead of getting them a gift.
You wouldn't have to say how much you donated per person just that a donation was made to the charity.
So you could get your gifts done and still some left over for snoflaking. And you would feel better about where your money was going and who is going to complain that they didn't get a gift when a donation was made?




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 4:37pm

No, your not being petty, your being smart.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus