Overcoming distorted perceptions

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Overcoming distorted perceptions
17
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 7:36am

I had the most frustrating conversation with my Mother.

Kate


empty purse

Pages

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 8:14am

It's no fun when others go on rants like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 8:22am

Perceptions can be hard, if not impossible, to change. BUT I doubt that it is impacting your career. The government is set up pretty well to ensure everything is "fair" and I doubt anything would change how others view you at the office.


In terms of dating, what have you done to get a date, lol. It may sound obvious, but if you haven't actively pursued anythng that could lead to dating, thats more likely the reason you haven't dated (as opposed to others seeing you as "poor"). Its possible you weren't sending off a good vibe when you were stressed about money all the time, and people pick up on that. But that can easily be changed by being more positive! You need to get out there, make yourself available and send off a postitive vibe. Perhaps now is the time. As you said you are in the best financial shape of your life! That has to


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 1:22pm

A simple "I'm doing much better mom" would go a long way. Maybe she is just worried about you. That being said, if she was that worried she would have tried to help LOL!

People are going to spend their money on what they want to, whether they have it or not in my experience. Being quick to judge or judging on past trials and tribulations often gets you no where. Did your mom like that bottle of wine she got from you for her birthday? Was she quick to give it back? Ummm probably not. Aren't you over 40? Spend your money on whatever the hell you want! Mommy will have to suck it up.

As far as dating goes. Being frugal is the new sexy. If a man can't see that you are smart with your money.....you don't need him. Trust me! I think it will put out a great vibe not changing at all. Yeah be positive but jeez, that doesn't mean dropping money on clothes you would not normally buy. Just be you!

Hahahaha, just my 2 cents darling! Have a great day!


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 1:35pm

Although I live frugally, I don't think of myself as 'poor'. I try to see all the positives about myself and my situation. Watching that ABC Home makeover show each week will gives me a better perspective instantly! I have a home that is decent, no leaking pipes or termites, and all of my appliances work so I can wash clothes, cook dinner and generally take care of and entertain my family. I keep them clothed, even though I buy things on clearance with coupons! I bought an entire Kenneth Cole outfit for my 6 year old last week for 7 dollars (jeans, shirt and pullover - brand new)! I have 2 cars that run, my husband has a decent paying job for his education level and I make a small living doing something that only a very small percentage of the population could do (teach piano). So even though we don't make a lot of money (we make 69K for a family of 5) I think that we are pretty successful in life so far. That is how I keep myself from feeling 'poor'! Other people may view me as poor, but I know that in the scheme of things, I have it pretty good on this Earth!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 1:48pm

Doesn't the perception of success lead to success?





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 2:08pm

I guess that all depends on how you personally define success.


I live 1/8th of a mile from the projects and city soup kitchen and rescue mission.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 2:39pm

It is interesting that although you might say that things do not define success by posessions,




Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 2:51pm

And *this* is where perspective is all from where you are at yourself!!


I saw your "69K...don't make a lot of money" as doing fantastic compared to our 40K for a family of 6....it's all from which angle you are looking at it from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 3:11pm
Another thing that makes us feel poor...all of our friends make so much more money than us! When you compare yourself with others, it can start to make you think that you are poor. They live in 3-4 bedroom homes with yards and garages and pools and we live in a small apartment! But we've got to keep things in perspective. 69K is a lot of money to make for most people in this world and I am thankful and grateful for it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 5:33pm

Pages