I am having such a hard time
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| Tue, 12-15-2009 - 1:25pm |
I have so much going on in my life right now! I don't even know where to start. First off, I have no money left for this week. My mortgage is due tomorrow and I am short $100 dollars! Just $100 measly dollars that I can't seem to find anywhere and I'm all of a sudden going to be late and I'll have to pay that dreaded late fee of $50 dollars! I was all set to get that hundred dollars today at piano lessons but now I have a husband that's not going to be home in time and I also have a really sick child that is throwing up everywhere. So I called one of my mothers and explained that I could do the lessons if I could bring my two youngest kids and leave my sick child at home for a half hour, but even that is just me desperately grasping at straws. She told me not to worry about lessons and that she's sure everyone would understand my dilemma, but that still leaves me missing $100 dollars and I really just want to cry! I feel like I'm not able to do my job. I teach piano but a lot of the time, due to my husbands schedule, I'm just not reliable! And then I get mad at him because we really need my piano money at the moment and I feel like he's not hurrying enough or it's not important enough for him to get home on time so I can go do my job! I just want to not have to worry about this anymore! I have all these extra expenses coming up and I know that unless some miracle happens, we're not going to be able to cover everything. And they are all stupid expenses that I could probably say no to, but by saying no, it's just reiterating the fact that we're too poor to live normally!
My son got a free children's ticket to a hockey game because he was a good student (a high achiever). They are honoring all the high achievers of New Hampshire at this game and he gets a $10 dollar gift card to their gift shop, but in order to go, I have to order a 17 dollar adult ticket by this Friday.
I bought some highly discounted photo Christmas cards. 20 of them for 6 dollars with pics of my kids. Just enough to send to my close friends and family, but in order to send them I have to buy stamps.
I have the opportunity to sign my son up for a Lacrosse camp for only $25 dollars and they are going to supply the equipment for him. Only $25 dollars for him to learn about lacrosse for 8 weeks. He would love it and it's right down the street from us, but $25 dollars seems like an enormous sum right now!
See - little things like this, not huge bills or anything. Those are getting paid, but it's the little things in life I can't seem to find the money for. I knew this month would be hard for us, but I was hoping that we could do whatever it took to make as much money as possible so we could scrape by. Then last week I have to cancel 90 dollars worth of lessons because we had scarlet fever and this week I have to cancel those same 90 dollars worth of lessons because my husband won't be home in time. That's $180 dollars I've missed out of my income in the past two weeks. That right there would have paid for all of those little things I can't afford this week and my mortgage wouldn't have been late.
My husband has a check from his second job waiting for him for about $150 dollars, but the guy who writes the checks is never there when DH is and we've been waiting to get this check for 3 weeks now. I need it so bad, it's the only hope I have, but it's probably going to be too little too late for this week.
I'm just overwhelmed and I haven't been scrambling for money like this for a long time! It's got me pretty depressed today.

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I know this dance very well. This kid money for milk at school, the other one needs money for the dance. Its always something.
I know it is hard, but you need to worry less about the little things and work harder at getting that mortgage paid on time. The more times you do that the less $50 fees you will have to deal with and the little things will fall into place.
It is hard to be the mom. Everyone wants you to earn income but isn't willing to change anything for you to do so. You just have to give and give. Not fair at all. Oh yeah and do 70% of the house work on top of it, shop, plan for and cook meals and plan all the family entertainment.
Its never dad they run to when they are out of clean socks is it?
Sorry, I am wallowing in self pity today. Having a terrible day, things are blowing up at work and I have no idea what to cook for dinner. I need a nap!
Hang in there Abby. Once the debt is repaid(you are so close) you will have extra cash for some things. And the kids will get older and things will get less hectic. Breathe!
Huggs - hang in there it will turn around soon.
You made me feel lucky to have my DH.
Abbie
Sorry to hear you are dealing with so much right now.
Is it possible for your son to go with a friends parent? Then you wouldn't have to buy a ticket for yourself to go and he would still get to go to the game and use his gift card as well.
As for the Lacrosse could you ask a grandparent or other relative to pay it for his Christmas gift?
Sharon
Abbie...It will be OK...
Now I think Burger Kings should be illegal ...lol...but take it easy on him and yourself...
Be proud of your family's accomplishments...
Duke
Sorry to hear about what your family is going
Liz
student loan paid off 2010
Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013
Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!
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