i can't afford therapy or zanax

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
i can't afford therapy or zanax
9
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 12:46pm
Happy New Year to all, I have been reading all the discussions this morning and I am just sitting around daydreaming about how I wish things were different for me. I have a plan for not adding to debt and i feel good about that but progress will be so slow and the thing that is really making me sad is that i feel like i can't just enjoy life. Without money you are just so stuck. when i really started thinking about i decided that I am Jealous...First of all I want to say that I don't consider myself to be envious as a rule. I would rather have my own problems than most everyone elses and I also know that things are not always as they seem. But the truth is I am dreading going back to work on monday and hearing about what everyone did this weekend and plans about winter vacations etc. the girls I work with seem to be a very lucky bunch and I always end up feeling like i live in a different world. One girl has daddy that pays her bills, gave her a house and takes her family on vacation. another girl married well and the third inherited a ton from a long lost family friend. They will all share about how they are planning a kitchen remodel, are looking for a bigger house, taking the kids to the beach, taking advantage of time off to go to the spa for massages and facials , or just enjoying lunch and shopping with their friends. I am happy that things are good for them and they and their families are healthy but a small part of me is just getting so sick of hearing about what is normal for them. There will probably never be a vacation for me and definetly no remodels or upgrades or good times with friends. how to deal? I don't wish misfortune for them i just want it for myself for once. my debts didn't come from living the good life ( at least then i would have had a taste of it ) As I have faced this burden I have felt really just depressed. I wonder if we will ever know why things come easily to some and the hard way for others. I wanted to talk to you guys about it because the others in my day to day life just aren't going through the same struggles as I am My questions to you are do you feel jealous? how do you have a nice life on no money? do you tell people what is going on with you money wise? I am Sure my coworkers know a little bit because they know my husband doesn't work. But I think when I answer the Questions about what i did this weekend and say Oh nothing much just housework and stuff they assume that i am just a boring loner or something because it would not occur to them that i have trouble just buying essentials . As i read over this i think i got off track sorry, i was just pecking away at the keyboard! So is life just passing me by?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-1998
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 1:30pm

Hi
Happy new Year to you as well. I'm sure the others on the board will have some great ideas for you. Like you I have friends who regale me with the latest holiday or house reno they are doing. And I know that I can't be doing these things, at least not yet. It is hard, but then I think I don't really know what is behind all this, maybe some of them are in way more CC debt than I am.

So what we do now is find things that are no cost or at least low cost to do. Here there are art galleries that hold opening receptions and there is usually no admission fee. We go to the movies on tuesday when they have cheap night. In winter we go out tobogganing at a nearby hill. Also one of my favourite things is to listen to the radio and try to win a few of the contests. Last year we went to a couple of concerts/shows (Burn the Floor and Corb Lund) and got several movie passes just from the radio stations. It amazing what contests are out there.
If you haven't already - if you post your numbers the group is great at helping you find ways to cut back and figure out which way to pay off debts in the most effective manner.

But you can have good times with your friends, it doesn't mean it has to cost a lot of money, in the summer we have pot luck parties where each person brings something and we have a great time, we play games (lawn darts, baseball, boccie etc) and sit around and chat. Sometimes it is at someone house, but occasionally we meet at the beach or the park.
Anyway just a few ideas. I'm sure the others here can give you more no-cost/ low cost ideas to do.





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 2:00pm


Hugs to you. You sound pretty down about things.

I think you need to really focus on finding fun FREE things to do around your town. Some libraries offer free passes to museums, zoos, etc. Do you live in / near nice weather that you can get out and walk? Sometimes getting out and being active can give us a new perspective on things. Being home allllllllllllllll winter can get us down.

Also, have you ever considered that those other women are filling their lives with "things" and not what truly matters in life like love or family? Be grateful you have a DH who you love even though times are tough right now. Be happy you have your health and are able to work and make money for your family.

Everyone gets down sometimes - myself included. But its important to remember to keep your spirits up and post if you need an outlet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 5:44pm

I heard a saying a few years ago:

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2009
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 5:44pm

First of all Happy New Year and hugs to you!!

Jenn<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 8:53pm
thank you so much for your reply . I am trying to follow the Dave Ramsey plan as well. I have had a slow start but hoping to correct this asap I don't know why this was on my mind today as i have known these people a long time and i never really gave our differences much thought. I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed or something. I am happy to say I am feeling better now and I have had a productive day, I have erased all signs of xmas , always makes things seem a little brighter and while I was boxing things up I had on the Dave Ramsey marathon. The shows have been about people who have overcome incredible obstacles in life and those things help me to keep my perspective. You know all in all life is good and i am happy with that! and I still have two more days of weekend -Tgis is unheard of for me to have a long break so I am super happy about that Thanks again and hugs back to you








iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 8:59pm
just kidding about zanax, that was the only drug name i could think of. I generally feel the same as you when thinking about what others have etc. I think I was just feeling blue, I had a little rest and finished the xmas goodies that were in the house and then got busy controlling what I can control . I am doing a major cleanup in a few areas in my life. including the house I am going through all closets drawers and cabinets and reorganizing etc. my sugar binge has cleared my head!!! thanks for the love








iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 9:03pm
thanks for the pep talk --Much better now also thank you because I think you were the one trying to help me with my ticker- Super frustrating to do things you don't really know how to do! have a great weekend -- I will continue my no cost weekend by making the house look nice and just enjoying some peace and quiet.








iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 9:08pm
thanks for the hugs --- i only wish it was warm here I live near chicago -- maybe 20 below wind chill tonight--Brrrr but i do walk when I can -- i am one of those that puts coats on her dogs :) but you are right nothing clears your head like fresh air. Winter is a downer though , so i am counting the days till spring. i love doing yard stuff and just being outside till then I will be working on indoor projects that are little to no cost. thanks again








iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 9:46pm

I am in a suburb of Chicago too.

Yes, no walking for us for a while with the negative below wind chills expected.

Stay inside, count your blessings and relax!