Really desperate for advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Really desperate for advice
18
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 1:03pm
My family and I are big time drowning in debt. Not just cc's we just keep running behind in everything. Rent is always late, electric is usually doubled up...and so forth. We live paycheck to paycheck, so daycare and others have to wait until payday to get paid and that means late fees. It seems like the less money you have the more people want. We both work full time hubby actually has 2 jobs. Alot of weeks we have to skip grocery shopping or go really light. It is causing alot of friction between us. The last couple of month have been different...his Dad passed away (which meant quite a few days off work for both of us), then we had a vacation that had been scheduled for 6 months (we didn't pay for it...it was a "dreams come true" similar to "make a wish" for our son) so that was more time off. And then Christmas, so this is just all catching up to us.
My question is this...I have had an on and off (mostly off) relationship with my dad since I was 12, now in my thirties. I have thought about writing him a letter asking him if we can borrow some money. I know (pretty sure) he is financially well off. I just don't know what else to do or where else to turn. It is not like were slackers or go crazy with our money...we just have been behind for what seems like forever and it just continues to get worse with what is looking like no chance of getting better. What do you guys think?
Any advice is so appreciated.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-1998
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 1:51pm

It does sound like the easy answer to ask your Dad for a loan to help you catch up, but have you done up a budget with your current income and outgo? Have you posted your numbers here? The people on this board are great at helping you see where you can cut your budget.

I would just hate to see you go through the whole thing of borrowing money from your Dad and then not being able to pay it back or worse having to ask again a few months down the road.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:39pm

You need to find out where your money is going. Are you spending more than you make. You might have to cut back on some things. You can post your numbers here. Some of the ladies are really good at going through them and telling you where to cut or have other options. I mean net income, utilities, mortgage, car, list everything that goes out in a month and what goes in.

Good luck. The end to this misery starts with a plan. Maybe try this first before going to your dad.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2010
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 7:02pm

The best solution in your situation is ask your Father for a loan. That is the best source especially if he has it. Yes, it might damage the relationship short term, but he is your father and will be there 100%!!!! Make payment plans after 6 months or when you feel comfortable.

I would pay him back what you borrowed and $100 every month (if possible) after you pay back the loan. After all he is your father and there is no interest on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 7:12pm

ARGGHHH !!!! Sorry, just had to jump in without reading other posters first, but you need a budget and spending plan as well as an income increase plan before ever going to a relative to ask for money.


Are you ready to have your dad OK every purchase from here on out?




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 7:38pm

I have to agree with the others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 3:23pm
I didn't drop the ball on this...just don't have all the #'s. I more than welcome any advice you ladies have.
We bring in roughly $4890 per month. We have 2 kids 14dd and 5ds. Rent is 850, car 436 (not sure price of insurance), gas 600 (high due to dh job #2 pizza guy), Electric 170, TV 75, cell phones 130 (no land line), daycare 600 (should be 492-high due to late fees), prescriptions 125, credit card payments 390 (those are the ones we pay...others are in collections so we don't consider those priority...to far gone), groceries plus eating out runs about 1000-definatly something I would love to lower...very hard I work ft dh has 2 jobs so it is usually me and the kids therefore I am all about convenience whether it be eating out or easy peasy at home. Gym membership 55 (not willing to let that one go...that is my effort to take care of me). I'm sure I am missing something but that is most of it.
Thanks!!
Also Paypal (???) 21, Insurance 250 (renters and car). We also owe some old medical bills and such to the sum of probably 1,000. My car desperatly needs tires and dh car needs battery 250.
That's what I got...Thanks again for any advice!!


Edited 1/12/2010 3:45 pm ET by angiemax2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-1998
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 4:04pm

One thing for your grocery bill, to help lower it is when you make a dinner make double and freeze enough for a second meal. Can you get your daughter to do some of the cooking so that you don't have to use so many convenience type foods? I know at 14 my daughter was making easy things like shake and bake chicken with rice and veggies. Doing a search on the internet for other easy recipes for variety so that you don't end up with the same menu all the time (I remember when I was a teen and was making dinner, tuna casserole was my favourite and easy to make so my family would get that about 4x a week.Until my Dad forbid me to make it anymore lol)
Do you have a crockpot that you can start in the morning to be ready for when you get home? I'm sure the others on here can give you more ideas to help stretch your grocery budget.

Your cellphone bill seems a bit high, even if you are a contract give them a call and see if they can change you to a better rate. I just did that a couple of weeks ago and saved about $30.
For your gym membership do you maybe have a community centre gym, they are usually less than the private ones.
Just a few ideas to help you start.

PS like PP said about family loans, it is really hard to do much with out the person thinking that the money could be better spent on repaying the loan. I speak from experience, we loaned a family member $2,000 to repair their vehicle with the express promise it would be paid back by end of year. That was 2008. They pay small amounts to us, while we watch them buy seasons passes to the ski hill, go on weekends away, have manis and pedis done etc etc. While my DH and I count our pennies to make sure that we can go and visit our DGD at the end of this month. anyway I digress.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 5:25pm

I think you could definitely cut your food bill in half. I have fed a family of 5 on $400 to $500 a month, and that did include eating out occasionally. Shop the sales and plan some easy meals for during the week. There are lots of recipe sites that offer 30 minute (or less) meals. Boiling pasta that you bought on sale, heat up a jar of sauce, maybe some garlic bread and you have a complete meal under $5 for 4 people easy. This is a quick go to meal for me quite often. Your daughter could even do this at her age. Buying boneless chicken breasts when they are on sale is also a good time/money saver. You can stock up, cook some in advance, then chop up the meat. I put mine in one cup packages and freeze. I can come home and throw a casserole together quickly. These are just some ideas. Eating out is way too expensive and not super healthy as you know. It may be something you need to cut back on.


Could you get a cheaper cable plan? I pay $30 a month for basic cable. I know how hard it is to always be behind on the utilities. I was too for a long time. Then one month I had some extra money and used it to get those up to date. I have made it a point since then to pay every month. It is hard to start, but once you do it gets alot easier.


You do have

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 7:56pm

I would suggest looking into bundling your cable, internet, and cell phone use with a single provider.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 9:41pm
I agree that you could cut on your food, bundle cable and what everyone else said. About the gym membership, I would cancel until thing are going better. It might be a good motivator.

Liz

student loan paid off 2010

Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013

Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!

 

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