Really desperate for advice
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Really desperate for advice
| Mon, 01-11-2010 - 1:03pm |
My family and I are big time drowning in debt. Not just cc's we just keep running behind in everything. Rent is always late, electric is usually doubled up...and so forth. We live paycheck to paycheck, so daycare and others have to wait until payday to get paid and that means late fees. It seems like the less money you have the more people want. We both work full time hubby actually has 2 jobs. Alot of weeks we have to skip grocery shopping or go really light. It is causing alot of friction between us. The last couple of month have been different...his Dad passed away (which meant quite a few days off work for both of us), then we had a vacation that had been scheduled for 6 months (we didn't pay for it...it was a "dreams come true" similar to "make a wish" for our son) so that was more time off. And then Christmas, so this is just all catching up to us.
My question is this...I have had an on and off (mostly off) relationship with my dad since I was 12, now in my thirties. I have thought about writing him a letter asking him if we can borrow some money. I know (pretty sure) he is financially well off. I just don't know what else to do or where else to turn. It is not like were slackers or go crazy with our money...we just have been behind for what seems like forever and it just continues to get worse with what is looking like no chance of getting better. What do you guys think?
Any advice is so appreciated.
My question is this...I have had an on and off (mostly off) relationship with my dad since I was 12, now in my thirties. I have thought about writing him a letter asking him if we can borrow some money. I know (pretty sure) he is financially well off. I just don't know what else to do or where else to turn. It is not like were slackers or go crazy with our money...we just have been behind for what seems like forever and it just continues to get worse with what is looking like no chance of getting better. What do you guys think?
Any advice is so appreciated.

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Again thank you ladies so much for all the advice and if you have anymore...bring it on :)
I am going to continue to read through past posts and hopefully get on track with all of this.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know exactly what you're feeling right now. Last year about this time, we were dealing with most of the same issues. The bills were piling up, we couldn't afford them, we'd have to pay double some months and that would affect our ability to pay other bills. We'd take money from our food budget to pay bills and then go without, but then we'd usually eat at mcdonalds anyway. The mortgage was late every month. We were struggling just to keep the lights on and the late fees just kept on coming! You really feel like you will never, ever get ahead again! I made one simple change a year ago that has really helped me tremendously. This year all of our bills are on time, the mortgage hasn't been late in 6 months and we have enough money each week to buy food, plus I haven't paid a late fee in probably about 6 months. SO NICE!
The big change for me happened in October 2008 when after buying some party supplies for my sons birthday party, I found out that I was out of money at my bank because I had started spending before the check I put in had cleared and all of a sudden, I had 5 overdraft fees. I was devestated. The money that we worked so hard to make was quickly being taken because of my mistakes and my inability to keep track of my money. The thing I absolutely hate the most in this world is late fees, penalties, interest and overdrafts! They are all ways to cheat you of your hard earned money!
So I decided that I had to find a better way! I got myself some quicken software. This cost me $50 dollars, which I really couldn't afford at the time so I would recommend not going that way, but basically I started keeping track of every penny. I took stock of all of my bills, lowered or got rid of many of them and I finally took control of my finances. It wasn't easy to get back on track. I calculated that I was spending $200 dollars a month on late fees at one point. When you have debt, that's a lot of money to waste!
My suggestion would be to start tracking what you spend. Like the other pp's said, $1000 dollars a month is a lot to spend on Groceries. I have a budget of $125-150 a week for a family of 5. I check the online sales flyer and make my printable grocery list from that each week. It's pretty easy. This week, I bought some chicken sausage on sale for 3.99 (it's normally 5.99) and I bought 3 boxes of organic Mac and cheese for 4 dollars. I can feed my family of 5 for 7.99 with leftovers because I won't use all of that sausage. Plus, what could be easier than making Macaroni and cheese and cutting up some precooked chicken? I also got a free bag of salad because I bought a pork loin. I love finding deals at the grocery store.
Sorry this got so long! Just know that here you will find people that understand the struggles of being in debt. We have all been where you are and we have clawed our way out! You can too!
* Do you have any schools nearby that offer cooking classes at night? Sometimes these types of classes are geared towards people who either can't cook or don't have the confidence to cook.
* Find some beginners or children's recipe books - the library would be a good place to start. The recipes in these are good, because they aren't complicated and the instructions are normally easy to follow. I can cook, but still love these recipe books because of the ease of following them.
* Don't fiddle with the quantities in a recipe until you know what you are doing with cooking.
Just a quick suggestion for learning to cook. www.allrecipes.com
Angel
Wife to Wayne, Mommy to Tyler (15), Nickolas (3) and Noah (1)
You need not be a master chef to prepare simple, wholesome, healthy, economic and delicious meals.
As example:
I would say the first thing you probably need to do is track your actual spending for a month or at the very least a week or 2.
You guys ROCK!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for all the advice. Over the last 2 days I have spent about 8 hours (really slow here at work) putting together a budget/financial binder for me. DH does money on the computer at home and I never get on the computer at home since I am on it all day at work. My binder includes obviously a budget of everything coming in and going out and then a column for what was actually spent. Then I put a separate page in there for bills that are automatically drafted from our account (not a fan of that since it throws me off but hubby likes it for cc's) so I will know when they are coming out and I can keep track of them. I also put a spending log page in it. I have filled it out for January and it has blown my mind. I see alot of extra spending on silly stuff that shouldn't be. I have alot of work to do but hopefully this is the start of something I will actually dedicate myself to and succeed.
Thank you also for all the cooking tips...that is my next project. I would like to start planning out weekly menus, which means cooking. Which will involve leftovers and really using the items I buy at the store, and hopefully alot less eating out (which could possibly help in other areas...). I want to start utilizing coupons, sales flyers and so on. A big issue I have w/cooking is I am scared of not cooking it right/all the way. But I will check out some of the sites/books you guys mentioned and that should help.
Thanks again everyone for all the GREAT advice!!!!
All you praying ladies I would appreciate prayers that I will actually do this and stick to it. I tend to get on the bandwagon sometimes and not stay on. I really need to do this. The way I have been is totally not working and I don't see it ever getting better if I don't make changes. We all know how hard change can be.
You have definitely gotten great advice so far and the only thing I have to add is about the cooking. I recently found the $5 dinner website and I love it. Just google it. I am very impressed that most of her dinners are easy to make and have very few processed ingredients.
Take care!!!
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