Does anybody else...
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| Tue, 01-19-2010 - 9:03pm |
Have completely separate accounts from their significant other?
DH and I do not have any joint accounts. We each get our pay into our own chequing accounts. We both have items that we are responsible to pay. I pay:
Our mortgage and taxes
my cell phone
my car and maintenance for it
car insurance for both of us
child care costs
most of the activities for the kids
my clothing
My DH pays
water/electricity/hot water tank
groceries/household needs (cleaning supplies, personal care products)
phone/internet/satelite
his cell phone
his car and maintenance
heat
he helps with child care costs in the summer (more expensive)
activities for kids if I need help
kids clothes
family stuff
clothes for him
We both maintain our own savings accounts and retirement investments. We agree together what each of us saves. We "split" major expenses (eg family trips, home renovations, furniture).
We did talk about the purchases that got us into debt in the past. We have been talking about money more lately than in the past, which I think has helped us to make progress.
I am not sure why we arrange our finances as such. It might because my parents are divorced, and my mom and step-dad maintain separate finances, so it's how I grew up. We did talk about combining the accounts, but we felt that this makes us both responsible for household finances. Bills are kept in a binder
that we both have access to.
Is there anybody else who does this? Does it work for you, or does it feel like a hinderance?


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It seems stupid to me if you're married to have seperate accounts.
You have been married 17 years - maybe you have not read some of the bios and other's opinions.
Marie..
Remind me never to take your debt reduction advice again. It does seem stupid to me and I'm entitled to that opinion.
Lets keep the peace, we are all here for the same reason and there is more then one way to do something.
Anywho,
My DH and I have been married 8 years as of yesterday and combined our finances when we were engaged. I was a whopping 19.
Liz
student loan paid off 2010
Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013
Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!
We have separate accounts. We used to have a join account but my husband is a big-time spender and would never think about consequences or bills we had to pay. If he wanted something, he would buy it. It all came to a head four years ago when I could not keep on going with being constantly afraid we were going to bounce from yet another of his purchases and not having enough money to pay our bills. We did therapy and all and the solution we came up with is this. I pay all the bills and handle both of our paychecks from my account. He has his own account which I can transfer funds to electronically for gas and incidentals - that's all he has to pay. If there are any large purchases he wants to make, he asks me and we talk about whether we can afford it or if it's a spur of the moment purchase. In the four years of doing this, we went from having $24k of CC debt and no EF, basically scraping by from paychecks to paychecks to having no CC debt, our cars paid in full, a very, very healthy EF and investments (thanks to my brother's guidance). I can't say I'm completely happy with the way we've worked things out. Although it has been a financial success, it does add to my overall stress since I handle everything by myself and still feel like I have to monitor DH's spending (he is constantly running out of his gas money). Also, I don't tell DH how much we actually have in our EF (about 10k) because I know for a fact he'll want to use it to buy his "toys," which defeats the purpose of having an EF. I keep all this money aside in an online money market account which he does not have access to. I kind of feel bad about it, but I know if I didn't do it that way, that money would be gone in a heartbeat.
Lucy
Reading the responses has made me think about our decision to work our finances this way, and if I would change it at this time.
When DH and I got married we were pretty young and just fresh out of university. We both had student loans and DH had some credit card bills. We lived together for about a year prior to getting married. When we moved in together I was reluctant to combine our incomes and bills. I think part of this was coming from a divorced family. Part of it was that it was overwhelming to budget both incomes and all the bills. Another part was that I worked my ass off in university and to get my first `real` job. I was reluctant to not have complete control over the money. So we agreed that until we were married, we would have separate finances. We got into a groove and when we got married, we decided not to change it right away. Eventually, we just had the opinion of it`s not broke, so don`t fix it.
I do find it interesting that some people posted that it`s their income, paying for their home, and their food. Although we have our finances set up this way, we both consider everything ours. This includes our assets and debts.
Honestly, I do not think that this arrangement is any reflection of the strength of our marriage. It`s not perfect by any means, but I would not change anything for the world. Also, I don`t think that it`s a reflection of our financial success. I think that we would have had debt even if we combined our incomes in the traditionally way that some families choose to do so.
As for change, not right now. Things are going so well for us right now. I would be scared to change. Might we make a change in the future, absolutely. You never know what can happen.
We are in our second marriage each, and we don't combine finances. We have very different spending practices (I am much more frugal on day to day things and I plan money very carefully) and it is really just better that we are not working from the same pot.
My first husband and I also had separate checking accounts. We had more money coming in and would always have more than enough. If I ran out of money, I wrote a check from his account. His money would build up periodically and I'd take it out and put it in mutual funds. How I wish for that situation to repeat itself!! It's been 7 years now, and I'm happier but much poorer.
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