Big anniversary today
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Big anniversary today
| Sun, 02-14-2010 - 9:14am |
I don't tell many people this although it's something to celebrate. Only friends and family who have known us for a long time know about this, but I feel like celebrating today and I feel like my online friends are not going to judge as others who I see day to day might. 10 years ago today, my husband went on a heroine and cocaine drug binge, stole 1200 dollars from his job to go on this binge and after realizing that the secret he was keeping for so many years (even from me) was finally going to come out, he ran away. There was a warrant out for his arrest and this was the day that I finally found out about all of his deceit and his drug problem. We found him and he turned himself in to the police and then we went through the long process of court and sentencing (probation). But that wasn't the hardest part of this journey. February 14th 2000 was the last time my husband did a single drug. He got off of it cold turkey, on his own because he finally realized that he wanted to change his life. He's been clean for 10 years today! Our lives changed that day and we have never looked back!

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Congrats on the 10 years Abbie.
~ Mom to 5 ~
Congrats! Of course it is worth celebrating!
This is something that a lot of people need to understand(that really don't if they don't have debt). It is really hard to get out of debt. People do have other things going on in their lives and if we can knock this debt out, it is so much easier to cope.
You are one incredible lady Abby!
Abbie...
What a wonderful anniversary for him and you...
Tell us what made you stick by him...he must have had some incredible qualities for you to give this a go....
Affectionately
Duke
Thank you all! Yes, we have had some pretty rough years. We met at 17, dated for a year and after I went away to college we tried to keep things going, but he was deep into his drugs (although I didn't know that) and he was starting to change. I left for Christmas break with the thought that if he couldn't change some things I was going to dump him. I ended up getting pregnant during that Christmas break.
He lived two different lives. The one he lived with me and the one he lived at night. He never slept and although there were a few slip ups, he...as all drug users are...was an excellent liar, the best! He could lie his way out of anything and he frequently did. Although it didn't help that I was probably the world's most naive little girl. I grew up in a small, rich town. I didn't know what signs of drug use were!
He started at the age of 16 with a little marijuana here and there, but quickly upgraded to cocaine. He did his drugs at work, he worked at a fried food restaurant and everyone there did drugs (watch where you let your kids work!!!) one day they ran out of cocaine and all anyone had was heroine (the snortable kind) so he upgraded to that. At the end of his drug use, he was doing crack on a regular basis. I can't even tell you how many times he should have died or been arrested. He almost killed a police officer who was pulled over on the side of the road once. He was high and driving fast. The cop pulled him over and was so outraged that he probably let him go just so he wouldn't pull out his gun and shoot him himself. He had to swallow drugs once when he was pulled over, 9 bags of heroine in his stomach! He should be dead or in jail! He did drugs for about 5 years. He also cheated on me a few times while he was in his 'drug' world. I actually knew about the girl before I knew about the drugs and she was the one I called after he disappeared so I could truly learn the whole story. Sordid, right! You have to understand though that we had a child together. I would have been gone a long time ago if not for the tie I had to him. I often used to joke about my soap opera life.
Why did I stay with him? One thing I will never forget, my dad holding me down on the living room floor, screaming in my face that my boyfriend was a 'heroine addict' over and over again. Wow! That's one place that you could never foresee yourself. My whole family hated him for a time. I can understand why, but no one could see the man that I could see. At the time, it was pretty hard to pinpoint exactly why I was standing by him, but we just fit together and I can't explain it. I saw the unbelievable father (our son was 18 months at the time), the hard worker, so compassionate and kind. I just knew that he meant what he said, he truly wanted to change. I could feel it.
I think that the way he got off of drugs says enough about him. They say that the withdrawals off of heroine are horrible, but he hid them from me. He was so ashamed. He didn't want anyone to feel bad for him or to see the suffering he was going through. He just one day decided to never do a drug again and that's what he did. He changed his whole life for the sake of me and his 1 year old son. Other people assumed that he would relapse. In the beginning, I thought that he would too, but over time, the thought of a relapse just never even entered my mind. He was a changed man! It did take me years to get over all of this though. We got married about 2 years after all of this happened and the best man gave a speech about how I had saved my husband. I had pulled him out of the dark. They say that it takes two things for a drug addict to get off of drugs; get away from the situation and have something to live for. He never spoke to one of his 'drug' friends again and I gave him some hope that life was worth living.
It is truly hard to believe that I ever lived that life, that's how far away it seems. But I was there and boy was it hard. I would never go back there again! And that, I guess, is my deep, dark secret ;)
Abbie I'm a little late but this is something to celebrate! Congratulations to your husband on his major accomplishment. My BF is coming up on 3 years clean in September so I understand to some degree. 10 years is huge!! :)
.....and we
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
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