O/T - Frustrated
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| Thu, 02-18-2010 - 10:16am |
Kind of vent post, about how the money situation affects the rest of life....:(
Because of the finances, DH is working more & more OT.
This sucks in regards to his kids, because we have 50-50 custody. We usually get them Thurs @ noon, and DH takes them to/from school on Fridays. Then some weeks he has Thurs off too, so we get them Wednesdays. It works out really well. Then of course every month there's usually a Monday holiday that we get.
But now he's working all Thursdays and most Fridays, we're barely seeing the skids at all, and it sucks.
So I'm trying to hammer out plans for camping this year, because we need to plan ahead, reservations need to be made on Monday, and I have to juggle the finances vs parenting schedule vs DH is blacked out for holidays after July 19th.
So I email skids mom, to make sure she's ok with certain dates. All we are really asking for is (1) May long weekend, which is the first camping weekend of the year in Alberta, and we would have the kids for 4 days then, and (2) 12 days from June 30 on, for our one "big" camping trip of the year. Everything else I'm flexible on. If we can swing in a couple weekend camping trips in June then we will but DH really wants these 2 trips because we aren't spending enough time with his kids.
This is budgeted. This is planned. This is ALL we can do this summer. These are our "holidays" for the entire year, kwim? DH has already booked off the week of holidays in July.
But no, DH's ex now being a full on .... jerk to put it nicely, now that she's not getting any extra money from us. She is apparently going to a family reunion this summer, in July, which involves leaving like the 5th of July or something.
AND she's insisting on having them for May long weekend to go camping with her parents.
Prior to us buying an RV a 1.5 yrs ago and getting really enthusiastic about camping, she'd never camped a day in her life.
But now it's "imperative" that she has them for May long.
(She's not going to win that BTW, we have first rights to weekends during the school year...but it's just the fight that is going to ensue now)...But the July situation sucks.
Can life ever be simple?
~ Mom to 5 ~

Oh an ex post! I love these LOL!
I really should not complain, my ex and I do pretty good as far as some other families are concerned.
He does annoy me on certain topics though so it is nice to vent once in awhile.
We have 50-50. But my ex travels for work so we try to work around that. We have an online calendar and it says when we each have the kids. If he wants the kids for something or I do, we try to put it on the calendar and we try to accommodate each other. And the same goes if we don't want them for a weekend, like I had to go to a wedding one weekend that was sorta my weekend but the kids were not invited so we switched weekends. We try to help each other out.
Annoying bits:
I paid $66 for my ex to get him a school picture package in December and he hasn't paid me back yet, and I don't know if he will. I have reminded him several times. My kids are really unorganized and I didn't even get the proofs and order forms until they were supposed to be handed in.So I bought a package for me and package for my ex(I phoned him and he said he wanted them, I would hope he would do the same for me, he probably would) Anyway, the last thing I need to be doing is paying for two picture packages!
He says he pays for things all the time for the kids without even telling me but I do the same. Basket ball fees, hot dog money, dance money etc. The picture thing annoys me though because I was doing him a favor and I don't even get paid back. I consider the big things for to us share though like camps. I am going to pay for one camp this year because he put up a stink and it is his turn to buy school supplies because he thinks I paid too much. He will find out this year I did not pay too much and he has to actually do the shopping this time which he won't like and will pass off to his new wife or mother. Anyway, he says he takes the kids on trips all the time but that is his choice, and I choose not to do that because I cannot afford it. It does not mean I should pay for every camp we send them too. I'm sure this annoys him but I don't care. He wants them to go to the camps too. He just wants to look the hero taking them on trips when we both agree camps are important and the kids have no idea who pays for that. That annoys me. I guess I am just annoyed today LOL!
I have a deadline for the first of March for a camp deposit fee(not the one I am paying for fully) and I asked my ex for $75 plus the picture package fee again. He has not responded(we talk by email a lot). I am annoyed. LOL!
I don't get child support. When we separated, we were making the same amount of money. I'm sure he makes more than I do now, and honestly I don't care. We both have other significant and I don't have any intention of filing for child support. Half the reason he doesn't pay me for this stuff is he just forgets, and that is in and of itself annoying. I'm the one who has to organize all their activities(because he would forget everything) and he doesn't even help with some things.
Ok, I'm good! All done! Thanks for listening.
We usually do pretty good too. But it's like about every 1.5 yrs, she stirs stuff up.
Right now I know she's POd because the CS "arrears" are paid & she's back to her "measly" $1,100 a month from us.
I like the idea of an online calendar like that, I'd never thought of it.
We pay for other stuff to like hot lunch, milk cards, book orders, field trips etc as they come up. Which personally, I don't think we should HAVE to but we do, it keeps the peace & is better for the kids to see. They are 7 & are just starting to grasp the concept that we GIVE their mom $ every month to buy the stuff they need. But I can't even tell ya how many times they've come here without gloves, boots, hats, etc and we have to go buy them. Grrr.
I put $50 a month into our school cash - $24 for DS bus pass & the rest gets used as needed. When it's out, its out. She pays bus passes (bcs she chose to put them into this school - when we have them, we have to drive).
Thankfully, the kids aren't going to camps or anything yet. I put all 3 of our older ones in a week daycamp last summer but I paid for it (back when throwing things on the CC wasn't a big deal!).
If I were you I'd be asking your ex for a deposit lol. Not CS but "hey, throw me a hundred bucks or so for your portion of things - I'll let ya know when it's run out". LOL I'm sure he'd agree... Well we can always dream right?
~ Mom to 5 ~