Blue
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| Wed, 03-03-2010 - 4:28pm |
I feel so bad because I have absolutely.no.positive.words of encouragement lately, so I'm not really responding to threads.
Normally I'm a pretty positive, supportive person but I've got nothing. I just feel all blue and whiny about my life lol.
I'm so frustrated about my DH lately.
What set the tone for Feb was our Jan EOM cheque. DH chose to stay enrolled in the stock plan for 2010. The company matches what you put in it. But he didn't read the fine print. Last year (2009), because he'd only worked for the company for 3 months in 2008, he was only eligible to buy $280 a month. So he just ASSUMED it would be the same. But he worked for them all of 2009, so now his monthly max is $781! So that was missing on our Jan 31 paycheque.
Then he stalled and stalled and didn't deal with it soon enough, so ANOTHER $781 got taken off the Feb EOM cheque!
In addition, our child support "arrears" are paid up but we still pay $1070 ever month. Because there was a garnishee in place last year, it has to stay until June (we can't self-pay). I told DH to make sure he talked to payroll so that it would all come off the 15th paycheque, and none off the EOM cheques because the first 10 days of the month are 2 mortgages, truck, and RV payments.
Of course he didn't do it. So they took half ($535) off the Feb EOM cheque. It pisses me off in so many ways, because the money isn't even due until the 15th!!
So he worked OT in Feb, the cheque should've been $2600 but instead we got $1300.
So I'm starting out March absolutely short, not to mention I still have to deal with the renter screw up from last month. I've got enough money to barely pay what has to be paid.
But it's some guys last day tomorrow, so they're all going out for beers & supper after. Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out if I can possibly make my grocery budget until the 15th stretch any further than it already has.
We had a HUGE fight yesterday about money. And I mean HUGE. I told him he could do whatever he wanted with his money and enjoy his nice house with no power and no food all ALONE because I wouldn't be here.
I just feel so darn alone, kwim? Like this is not just MY problem, but I'm the only one dealing with it.
I honestly don't know, how many more "things" like this I can deal with.
~ Mom to 5 ~

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I sorry for all your 'blues'.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
I'm so sorry you are feeling poorly...
Stress can be so darn awful...but it sounds like from you post that the hardship is temporary...
If you can give your hubby a hug...sit down and come up with a plan together
All the best
Duke
Sorry you are going through this. I hope that you can work things out asap. Spring is almost here so I'm sure that will help a little bit (cheap fun outdoors if nothing else!)
Good luck!
Bex -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."
Bex -
Melissa, sorry to hear you are blue.
Kate
The blues get me a lot! I feel so alone and overwhelmed by life much of the time. My attitude has gotten a lot better since I've started eating better, but I often feel like I should talk with someone...anyone, about my problems and my 'blues'. My husband is the kind of guy that doesn't like to deal with the problems as well. I sometimes like to keep it that way because he's the optimistic one and if he's down then there's no one else to pick me up from the gloom. The other day I just could have laid in bed all morning and cried. I think that may have had something to do with PMS but it was horrible! And I don't even have the debt load like I did before. People don't realize how much stress money problems put on you. My emotions were going so well for months and then my financial life fell apart a little bit last month and I went right back into depression-ville!
My husbands job has this program they offer employees and their families. It's free and private counseling for all kinds of problems. I have thought so much lately about calling them, but I feel like my problems aren't big enough. If I called them and told them that I'm depressed because I'm an emotional eater and my $1000 dollar E FUnd is no longer funded, I feel like they'd hang up on me! But honestly, I could really use a counselor. I need someone to talk to. This weekend I'm getting together with my girlfriends. We're going to hang out and eat Italian food, drink wine and have chocolate cake and brownies. I'm really looking forward to that. Could you maybe schedule some time for yourself with some good friends?
I hope you feel better soon!!!
Hi Melissa,
I am going to tell you it will get better. It will get better because YOU make it better. You are doing everything you can to make this work. DH will come around. They tend to do that when you keep being right all the time.
I know its been a rough couple of months. You have not been feeling well, custody issues, things keep blowing up(dryer and heater), there has been a lot of change, and you are learning a new way to do things.
Give yourself a break. It will get better, because you make it better. Say it out loud. It is very empowering. I do it all the time. Then you can look back and say "Hey I did that" and that is even more empowering.
I hope DH can baby sitt the next night (after his drinks and dinner for that dude leaving) cause you need a girls night!
~Melissa~
I don't really have any advice but I do hope things get better for you. I think everyone sometimes deals with a spouse that doesn't want to play on the same page and that's tough. I'm sorry you're so down and hopefully you'll feel better soon.
Thank you so much Norma, Duke, Bex & everyone else, for your kind words. It is helpful to know I'm not alone in this.
Kate, I'm not technically married! But with 5 kids, we consider ourselves as good as married. He is Catholic, I am not; his family is very Catholic & won't recognize our marriage unless in their church; I won't marry there. So we've decided we ARE married, for what matter to us, kwim? Hence me calling him my DH lol. I understand you're aghast about your ex's spending. We do the same with DH's ex (my step-kids BM). She's unemployed, etc but chose to take our child support and use it to go to the other side of the world for a month. WTH?
Prty, it takes about 1 email to state he isn't paying for that stuff, or only paying 50% etc. Trust me, BTDT.
Abi, you should take advantage of the counselors available to you. I'd love to, (we have the same kind of plan) if I could work it into my INSANE schedule! Don't underestimate your own issues. Trust me that most ppl that go to therapists have "mundane" problems as opposed to being psychopaths LOL.
There's a lot of days I don't want to get out of bed. Fortunatley I have 5 kids that make me LMAO!
Galstore ~ Thank you. I seriously now have a "poster" hanging on my fridge that says "It WILL get better, because I WILL MAKE it better". My DS (almost 9 yo) looked at it and said he didn't understand what it meant. I told him he didn't need to except that it made Mommy think happier thoughts :)
I think half my issue is that my 2 BFFs live 1.5+ hours away; due to all my moving around my "friends" are more like acquaintances that I can't really let loose with. My DH is my best friend, we have a blast together most of the time. I've always done well with stress bcs DH & I go out and have a good time. But with the money, we don't do that anymore. We're used to going once a week and now we haven't been out since the end of January.
I am going away for a scrapboooking thing in May with one of my BFFs so I'm looking forward to that.
Again, thanks to everyone. I had a lil melt down last night & tomorrow looks a lot better, especially with your kind words. :)
~ Mom to 5 ~
melissa-
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