Oh Boy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Oh Boy...
19
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 10:36pm

I don't know where to begin - my financial landscape is about to shift dramatically - I *think* it will be for the better in the end.

After a long arduous period of deciding my husband and I are splitting up - after 10 years - or more accurately I am splitting up with him.

I used to think that love conquered all - it is a cliche I know - to love someone but not be BE in love with them; I just need to love myself more right now (that sounds cliche too).

Compromise is a funny thing. When someone says, "compromise" I think of it as a positive thing. For most of the time we have been married I always thought the compromises were about the compromise that comes along with marriage, but at some point along the way the compromise starting coming at the expense of who I was as a person.

I want to be really clear - it wasn’t asked of me it just happened.

Then the compromise started making me question myself, about everything and that at some point started just started eroding away at the being in love part.

I have posted more of my story at my personal blog http://smoochdog.squarespace.com so I don't want to rehash it all here.

What this means financially is that we are selling out house. We will officially contact a realtor in the coming weeks. So the biggest debt I have is going to go away. We are almost certain we will be able to break even which will be a huge relief. I am hoping that we can each walk away with $5,000 in the end to help us get settled into new apartments. As scary and hard as the separation is I am most nervous about protecting my credit in all of this - I am not worried about my husband doing anything reckless but am doing all the things I need to protect myself.

I am sorry I guess I am just rambling. My debt will be less at the end of the next few months, my debt will be different, I am just trying not to freak out (on many levels).

I am going to stop now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
In reply to: smoochdog
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 7:05pm

Michelle,


So sorry you are going through this. You seem to be taking things very well. I just wanted to offer you hugs since I have no advice :(


Bex -


"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 12:30am

If I remember correctly you bought your house in 2008?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 9:23am

Auntydoxzz -


The terms of our new homebuyer stimulus agreement is that we got $7,500 interest free that had to be paid back at $500 a year over 15 years. We have to pay it back whether we stay or whether we sell. I had forgotten about it too until the other day and have now added into all the numbers that we are factoring.


We will be meeting with a realtor on the 15th and he is optimistic that we will not LOSE any money on the house and he is hopeful that we might be able to come out a bit ahead.


I am hoping.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 9:58am

I wanted to wish you the best of luck and offer a hug.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:12pm

You might want to go on line to the IRS site and look for the stuff on home buyers rebates.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-1999
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:32pm

sorry you are going thru this, I hope the transition is a smooth one & with as little stress as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 3:02pm

I, too, want to offer you my support.


I think it is terrific that the two of you are trying to do this as amicably as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 4:04pm

Oh Smooch I 'm so sorry you are going through this. Happiness is soooo important. I don't think some people that are married really realize this so good for you for making it the most important.

When I left my husband I didn't even know where I was going to sleep. You seem to have your head on straight.

My ex and I had everything done on an excel spreadsheet. It does save money at the lawyers to have it all done first. Assets in one column and liabilities in the other.

I know this sounds cliche but sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do.







iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
In reply to: smoochdog
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 6:27pm

Hi smooch....


I wanted to say...You will come out the other end of this intact...


These

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