My life seems to be taking a turn
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| Thu, 03-18-2010 - 2:59pm |
I've always found that new directions happen faster than I expect. I posted a few days ago about feeling down and depressed like my life had no direction and here I am 3 days later contemplating a big move. Here's the details:
My mom is going to be moving in with her boyfriend this summer and she wants to rent her house. She lives in a very nice town and it has a great school district. It's on a nice quiet street that surrounds a picturesque pond that you can canoe on. She is one of only 13 neighbors that have beach rites. The house has a yard but it's small. Her house is about 650 square feet (2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, car port, small living room with a wood stove and a screen porch. I currently live in 850 square feet. She also has 2 sheds and a small basement which would alleviate a lot of our storage issues because we currently have no storage. Her mortgage payment is a little less than $1000 a month.
We currently live in the biggest city in New Hampshire which isn't saying much, but still! We don't live in a great part of town. Our building was broken in to a couple months ago, the middle school my son is going to next year is known for it's violence and has police officers. You get the picture. We've 'made do' here for 6 years because we're stuck. We bought this condo for 167K. We owe 144.5K. There are many units in our building for sale and the ones comparable to ours are on the market for about what we owe, but the problem is that they aren't selling. They've been on the market for months and months. People have been taking them off. I guess one unit was just recently rented for $1300. My mortgage is $1240 with a $250 condo fee which is going up to $300 next year. If I could rent mine for $1300 I could make up the difference, but I'd worry about what I'd do if they left, or the heating unit died. Although I'm sure my mom could help me out if that ever happened as she'd have no house payment.
Here's my dilemma:
#1 - should I move? Pro's, yard and school. Con's, size and change
#2 - how would I fit 5 people into this house?
#3 - Should I rent or sell my current home?
#4 - If I sell for what I owe, how can I pay the real estate fee?
So many hard questions to answer. I've discovered some pretty cool stuff though for how we could live in this home comfortably. Here's the links. Basically, I'll be living very European. All of my furniture will be multi-purpose, but I'll be able to have a garden and my mom is going to fence in the yard. Also - I'll be selling most of my current furniture so I'll have a little bit of money to help transfer to my new style of 'space efficient' living.
The Lollipop bed for my 2 youngest kids who would be in the larger room which would probably double as a play room and a music room.
http://www.resourcefurniture.com/space-savers/bunk-beds/lollipop
The Euro computer bed for my oldest in the smaller room
http://www.flyingbeds.com/14.SmartBeds/Tale-ComputerBed.htm
The couch in the living room for Hubby and I:
http://www.lifestylesfurniture.com/catalog.php3?category=0000002267
I know that for a lot of people, this would be a no-brainer. How could we live in such a small space? But I think that sacrificing and getting rid of 'things' which aren't important anyway and giving our kids a yard to play in and a great school in a safe neighborhood that they can ride their bikes in is probably the better choice. I know that we could make this work, it's just such a scary decision to make!






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I sort of touched base on this yesterday.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
Hi Abbie,
Funny, I just left you a message on the other thread this morning!
I personally know how hard it is to make these type of big life decisions.
Kate
I grew up in a small 2 bedroom trailer with my parents and 3 brothers. Our room was literally just barely big enough to hold a bunk bed with a double on the bottom. My brothers slept there, I had the top bunk. (thankfully we moved when I 12, but we survived lol)
Could you put all 3 boys in together so that you can have the small room for you and DH? Or as a PP said have the older DS sleep in the living room.
I see more pros in this move than cons, but you are the one that has to make the final decision. You have made some great choices on the furniture.
Hmmm interesting points.
I agree with Norma. The porch and basement could possibly be turned into a third bedroom. The sheds provide storage you don't have now so they are a bonus. Turning the basement into a bedroom would work really well. Especially as your older DS becomes a teenager. He will want his own space!
Just a thought!
Bex -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."
Bex -
From your previous posts, it seems you have been unhappy with your current living situation...location, costs, schools, etc.
Hi Abby,
I can't choose for you, but I personally would choose the better school and the yard for the kids and make the smaller space work, somehow. And who knows, if you were to move there, your mom's house might not have to be permanent; it could maybe just be a stepping stone for you and your family. Your kids would have the better school and the yard in the meantime.
You seem to be a creative and determined person, so I am sure you could make it work. As others have said, you might be able to do something with the basement.
I looked at the furniture links that you posted and that stuff seems very expensive to me. Have you checked out Ikea? They are the masters of European small space living. Check out these bunk beds and loft beds with desk set-ups underneath: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?query=bunk+beds That's the American Ikea site so those would be US prices. Way more affordable imo.
I would
Liz
student loan paid off 2010
Bathroom remodel loan paid off 2013
Pending Car loan to be paid by the end of 2014!!!!!
Thought - can you put the lollipop bed & the euro bed in the same room for the kids? Then you can have a sofa bed in the other bedroom which could double as your music room AND still give you privacy.
I suggest that because, with 3 kids - will you have the energy/motivation/time to (every morning) fold up all 3 of those beds in order to go about your day (and then unfold the ones as needed for nap time?)....not just the fold up/unfold but the actual "making up" of the bed, kwim?
If you can squeeze the 3 kids in one room....lol altho I'm not sure I would leave a computer in there with 3 kids hah ha BUT if you have a laptop, you could also use it elsewhere in the house, whereas the actual euro "desk" could be used for storage bins for kids toys.
I think you *could* do it. Coming form a mom of 5 lol. I personally couldn't do it, but thats cuz there's 5. I think you can, especially if you get clever with stoage elsewhere. We have a leather ottoman in our living room that opens, and actually is our "toy box" for the main floor. OUr love seat has a middle console that opens, that I can fit a package of diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, along with the normal living room stuff (remotes, etc).
So to answer your actual ?s:
#1 - should I move? Pro's, yard and school. Con's, size and change
I'm all about schools & neighbourhoods. We've gone to court (custody) over it. So those are pros.
The *should* factor only YOU & your husband can really answer lol.
I agree with a trial period. Maybe agree to one school year (usually 10 months, right?) to see if it works.
#2 - how would I fit 5 people into this house?
Your space saving furniture is a great start.
I have a computer desk that has a CD rack - holds 20 of them. Has shelves in the bottom for printer, paper, etc...like an office in a desk that is only 2 ft wide.
The thing with minimalism, is that a small space is either going to be very easy to keep organized bcs you'll have less stuff, or it'll become cluttered & overwhelming very quickly. Are you good at keeping things organized?
The best advice I ever got was to look up. Most people don't use vertical (ie against the wall) storage efficiently. Shelving shelving shelving.
And BTW, most kids these days (especially mine) have too much "stuff". Downsizing might be a good thing for your kids.
#3 - Should I rent or sell my current home?
I totally agree with PP to do a trial period. If it works, then sell. For the first period, rent for a 1-yr lease and see how it goes.
#4 - If I sell for what I owe, how can I pay the real estate fee?
Save up?
If you don't plan on moving until August or something, you cucould try to save.
Or, do the trial period and use that time to save up.
I am a big proponent of "for the kids". If this move is good for the kids, gives them a better quality of life, then it's worth a shot. IF you can do without giving up your quality of parenting and total family life - IF doing this will stress you out, cause you to get on each other's nerves etc, then it might not be worth it.
And the yard will make a HUGE difference. My 3 boys (f/t ones, not my stepkids) are outside EVERY day for at least an hour. Unless it's 30 below freezing...even when its 20 below freezing they're still out there, building forts LOL.
Good luck with your decision.
Hope that helped, I'm pretty absent minded right now lol.
~ Mom to 5 ~
Wow! A lot of information! I'm posting to all and lets see if I can hit on all of the subjects that were brought up.
Our work situation would definitely change a little bit. DH would have a 50 minute commute instead of 20 minutes, but he wouldn't have to worry about traffic and to be honest, he doesn't want to do this job forever because the hours are too hard so maybe having cheaper housing would give him the opportunity to change jobs. I would be farther away from some piano students and yet closer to others. I'd also be farther away from my church job, but I spent 5 years working at my last church and that was a 30 minute commute so I guess I'm used to it. I'm sure that as the years went on, our jobs would slowly shift anyway.
As far as the furniture being expensive. I totally agree, but I want something that's truly going to work for the space and be efficient. We're probably going to end up living with mattresses on the floor for awhile until we can come up with the right solutions to our space problems. Our bed and a kitchen table are our most pressing furniture purchases. I will have to sell almost everything I own though so I'm going to put all of that money aside towards the cost of moving and purchasing the new furniture. I have some nice furniture. An Ethan Allen Bed that is being featured right now in their add campaigns. What a perfect time to sell. It's the British Classic canopy. Boo hoo hoo! I have a very nice entertainment center that was made by my father who is a professional cabinet maker. Couches, bunk beds, kitchen table, mattresses, faux fireplace, washing machine, you name it, I have it to sell. We're going to purchase the sleeper sofa first ($2600 for the model I want). I did a lot of research to find the most comfortable sofa bed on the market. If we're going to be sleeping there everynight, I want comfort to be my top priority. And I found the perfect kitchen table online for $299!), the rest will come in time. I'm definitely going to look at IKEA and see what all of my options are but the murphy beds are so ideal because they take up no space.
Privacy - Yes, this seems to come up with everyone. Funny that I hadn't really thought of it. I was just thinking that we'd close the doors to the kids room and viola...privacy. But I know how that works...it doesn't and what if they have to use the bathroom? I'd be paranoid! So Dh and I are now talking about putting the sleeper sofa in the smaller room and letting the kids have the larger room. The smaller room would not fit a Queen bed without taking up the entire space. DH came up with the fantastic idea of putting one of those ottomans with storage in the room so we can stow away the bedding during the day. We'll have to deal with the 'future teenager needing space' issue at a later time. We may not even be there that long. He's only 11.
You guys are all right in that we really don't enjoy living at our current apartment. We feel stuck, we are craving a yard with all of these boys! They need freedom and grass (or a snow fort) and a bike and the years are just slipping by. If I can sacrifice for them, I will and I'll be happy doing it. I think that with the extra storage, the minimalist approach and less 'crap' (really, who needs it!) we will end up being happier.
As far as the trial period. I think what we may end up doing is getting the house cleaned up to sell, cleaned, organized and purged, painted with new carpet. We'll put it on the market at the price we can afford $150K and if it sells, it sells. If not, we'll talk about lowering the price or trying to rent it. The thing is, I really don't think that we'll want to come back here if things don't work out at my moms. We'd probably just move back into my in-laws basement apartment until we could save up a down-payment to buy another house. Maybe this is the kick in the butt we need to really make the decision and get out of this place.
Just remembered: The basement is un-usable. It just has enough room for the boiler and water heater and some storage. But it floods once a year so storage may be a no. What we do have though is a shed in the back with a window and electricity so we could turn it into a fort! The kids would have another place to go and play.
I think that we are 85% sure that we are doing this. I'm just so clueless about the home selling process. I have a lot of work in front of me! The stupidest thing though is that I'm having hang-ups over what other people are going to think of this decision. How will my friends react? Will the neighbors think we're crazy to have this many kids in a small house? I'm just so retarded because I'm always worried what everyone else is going to think.
Thanks to all!!!! You guys are wonderful as always
Dearest Abbie....
The new place sounds beautiful in sooooo many ways but quite honestly I dont think 650 sq. ft. is going to cut it for three teenage boys...
Im sorry I had to say it....
Duke
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