Throwing away my spreadsheets

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Throwing away my spreadsheets
12
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 4:46pm

Warning - long.

As you all know, DH and I have a lot of pans in the fire: we both work full time as Senior Managers at larger companies, I teach as an adjunct college professor, we have a website launching, we have two teenagers (DDSr. and DSJr.)and have a cabin "up north" we go to frequently.

We also have a ton of debt from launching a business and being divorced in our past. But we did pay off over $20k last year, and have paid off about $5k this year, even with taking 2 vacations (to bond a blended family as kids are in college by next year.)

Upcoming debts are DD's graduation which I am combining with my parent's 50th anniversary (I cannot afford 2 big parties for 85% of the same people in the same month, so I am doing this my way - am I nuts?) But we are looking at a least $4k for the entire shabang. (Band, picnic/dance hall rented, food, cakes, paper goods, etc.) Oh, and we are cooking the food! (OK, ordering chicken and cakes, but cooking most.)

I have money saved for DD's college costs and can get her through two years so far on savings and the scholarships/financial aid she got, so we are good there. I will deal with the last two years when the time comes, but I am buying stock in my company, so hopefully that will help by then.

My car is old, 9 years, 185k miles and flashing lights on the dash, but it is in good body and engine shape. We also have a 12 year old Taurus the kids drive, with 126k that is beaten up a lot more and is in need of constant repair. April car bills: $1200, say goodbye eFund!

So I did not say anything so far on the board, but I ordered a new car. Yes, follower of D. Ramsey is ordering a NEW vehicle - but I get a hefty family discount and I drive my cars for 10 years or so. DS is buying my car 9 yr old car, for half the value or $2500, but it will then be his. I will have a car payment, but right now I am spending an average of $400 on car repairs, and I need reliability. The new car will get 30 MPG, and can also fit all of us in it - which our current cars can't for going up north. (DH has a truck, and the Taurus is too unreliable for a long trip, mine was a smaller BMW.) We will sell the Taurus for $1500 or so in August when DD18 heads to college and that will go to a CC bill or pay something off.

Then this weekend DH's parents asked us if we wanted to purchase their cabin. It is 30% larger than ours, and a beautiful log cabin built in the 1930s. The kids would have rooms instead of a closet to sleep in. It has a dishwasher and washer and dryer - things I do not have now. It won't be a ton, but it will be another payment (think car payment level.) It is also our life plan to retire up there on the lake and this is a good time to get a lower cost on this cabin due to the recession here. Dh's grandmother died a couple months ago and we would play a game of shuffle the cabins: his parents buy out the other share of grandma's cabin, we buy their cabin, we rent out our smaller cabin (600 sq ft.) We still would need the garage at our current cabin (garage is bigger than the cabin), and hope that DS16 would buy it in about 10 years, but keeping it costs us nothing but $600 a year in taxes, and $300 in insurance. It would cost us more to store the stuff we have in the garage for the winter.

I don't know, I am overwhelmed right now. Money is flying out left and right with sports fees, proms, car repairs, new cars, graduation parties, Mother's Day, Dad's B-day, gardening, etc.

All my spreadsheets no longer work. OMG, this is sooo crazy! (I feel like Bex's life changes have invaded my life too.)

We will probably end up even at year end, same debt levels as the cost of the debt balance of the car will equal our CC progress, plus cabin debt, but sometimes life throws funny curves at you.

Am I nuts?

-Marie




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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 5:25pm

Marie, I am very sorry to hear that DH's grandmother passed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 6:29pm

Marie, I gotta admit, you really got my attention with the message title.

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 6:42pm

You need to slow down. Take a deep breath and make yourself a new spreadsheet. You are right in saying money is flying out left and right. It sounds like you're doing everything for your kids. I take it they're not working? Prom expenses? Sports fees? Half or part of their schooling? Call me old fashioned, but these are things they should be paying for themselves.

As for the cabin, you should not be buying it right now. You just bought a brand new high end car, and you shouldn't be buying anything until that car is paid off. Wait until there's another cabin with the right sized garage comes along after some of the other stuff is paid off. It's too precarious to hope for renters and depend on your son buying it from you in ten years.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:19am

Thanks for the feedback. I am stressed now, but I have always been a person on the go that can not stand so much as lying still for a massage, so I don't think that will ever change.

Thanks for the thoughts about DH's grandma - but it is a celebration, she lived an awesome life to age 96! She saw all her grandkids get married, and got to know her great grandchildren. She drove until she was 90 and had her wits about her until the end and she died in her sleep.

We found out last night that DH's grandma left him and our son a CD each, that made the decision on the cabin, because it is enough for a down payment on the cabin for us, and DS's adds to his college savings so now we have two years of his school fully covered too. So basically we have half of both kids tuition/room & board set, so that gives us some breathing room.

We are paying down debt, and I am putting money into my 401k, DH is too and we are both buying stock in our companies. We should have enough to actually help fund those last couple years of college with those stock funds if all things stay fine in the market, if not, we will find a way, and worse case, student loans and jobs for the kids!

DD's graduation party is just going to be basically an exchange of funds, I am paying for the party, she will get some money which will go to her college fund. She will also work this summer and is registered for work study at school too.

I guess we just pushed a lot of things on us at once, and feels like the next 30 days will be a whirlwind, but I got more teaching jobs, and tutoring, so that should help with immediate needs. I think I will take a month off in the summer from teaching though, probably to fix up the cabin and help Dh's parents on fixing up the other cabin.

I guess if it is meant to be, it will be!

-Marie




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:25am

Yep, DH and I will still have our spreadsheets, but they will be rejiggered a lot for what is coming up.

Both kids have at least 2 years of college paid for - without including gifts for the parties or their working or student loans. So I feel good there and we are continuing to buy stock we can use their last two years. (We have to hold company stock.)

Yep cars are expensive, but we are spending so much on repairs it is not funny. I get one car every 10 years and drive it for that long, that is where I am with the BMW, it has 185k on it and DS will have it at least two more years so we will get 11 years out of it.

Gas expense will go down, as the new car gets better gas mileage by over 12 MPG than what I am getting now. Insurance will go up, so that is an offset. (I spend $200-240 a month for gas.)

Thanks for the thoughts about Dh's grandma, she will always be in our hearts.

-Marie




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:47am

OMG!

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 11:05am

I could have written your post a while back. It is easy to say no to black and white issues, but sometimes life throws in curve balls.

The cabin is on a lake where our entire family is, and where DH wants us to retire to. We both can do remote work, so we might be changing lifestyles in 5 years or so, and spending half our time up there on a permanent basis, so a bigger place is definitely in our overall life plans. (If you can call 1000 sq feet bigger) Our cabin is small (600 sq ft.) and not very warm in winter, we could not live in it all year round, but we own it clear. We are trying to work it out so we pay DH's parents off in less than 10 years, and that looks very doable. This is a log cabin build in the 1930s that is in pristine condition and there is no way we want it going out of the family. DH's parents are willing to do a great price and good terms to keep it in the family name. Renting ours 4 weeks per year (hunting season, 4th of July, Memorial and Labor Day weeks) it will pay for utilities and the taxes, so it will cost us nothing to keep it.

Please also note that our house payment on our primary home is only $1221 a month, we have really low utilities ($150 a month total), and well water, so no water bills. Our cell phones are company paid, and we both make almost $100k on our primary jobs. DH also does some contract work and I teach and tutor at the college level for extra funds of well over $1k a month take home.

Last year we paid down over $20k in debts, this year over $5k already. We have not even applied our tax refund to debts yet, but it looks like that will wipe out another card. When I add in the car debt, we won't go up this year, we will either break even or go down, and our net worth will definitely increase by the $50k we target each year due to 401k and other funds we save in.

We are saving in our 401ks at least $10k per year between us, and have over $150k in 401ks now. We have full medical insurance and have a medical savings account for other expenses not covered by insurance. We also have fully funded life insurance plans.

Our start-up business is funding itself now, but eventually it too will give us an additional income.

DD18 did have a job, and paid a lot of her expenses, she is currently not working due to softball, but will start again when school is out in June. DD16 is playing lacrosse and needs time to study as he has a harder time in school. He will also get a summer job, but it might be up north helping his DH's parents with the refurbs that need to be done on the cabin they are moving into (think avocado green appliances and green and blue patterned carpet with a strong fragrance of o'de mothball.) They can use a someone who can lift and carry - and DS16 is 6'2" running about 210#s.

Oh, and the car is not a high end, it is a domestic normal product and I got a great deal as a family member. It is in fact $12k less than my beamer was 9 years ago.

The numbers show we can do it and still have about $600-800 a month for food, $750 a month for spending, $100 for personal items, $800 for gas, and can still save even after 401ks and stocks,for emergencies at about $100 a month, while paying an additional $750-1000 a month on CCs.

I had to get the spread sheets out and go through them with DH, but it looks really doable.

-Marie




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 11:41am

Norma -

Part of my nerves come from having an MBA and DH having an advanced degree - no one can take those away from you, even in BK. I have lost a job before, and turned around and opened a business, then my client hired me full time. DH and I both got promotions in the last two years, him twice. There are not a lot of people who do all he does in IT, so he is always getting recruiter calls. So even in the worst unemployment state, we did fine last year. It was before my advance degree and supporting that past husband that made my life miserable and debt high (still no job for him - 20 months collecting unemployment, and still going.)

But we looked at both sides: If we failed, we would give up our primary home, I don't like it anyway! We would still have two vehicles, so what is the worse that could happen, we move up north to the cabin, it would be less than apartment rent! We do have two months in an Emergency fund, funded by our continuous purchase of company stock, and if we both lost jobs, the kids would be eligible for more college financial aid, so that stock fund could go to us instead of being earmarked for their last two years of college. And right now DD18 got half paid for in scholarships, so if that stays in place, she is already fully funded for 4 years.

The combined payments on our house and cabin are still less than $2k a month, and we bring in almost $10k, so it is still less than 20% of our TAKE home pay, less than 15% of gross. DH's truck is paid off in 14 months, and he is paying almost $1500k now extra on his debts. I pay almost $1500 a month extra above minimums.

My old car is running good and is in better shape than the Taurus, so by selling it to DS16, he knows he is responsible for repairs. I am sure DH will help a bit, but he knows what he is responsible for and his mother helps him too (remember he is my step son.) She is just glad she does not have to buy the car or insure him. She also will help with his college and already gave us her financial commitment, and has some money saved too.

If it is meant to be, it will be! And it is looking pretty good now.

-Marie




iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:21pm

Hi Marie,

I think I may understand your situation more out of everyone here.

I too have my own business and have bought "family" land(you a cabin). Many people don't realize what a good deal you got on it. Things are not as simple as building an efund, paying off cc debt, paying off all your debts then paying off your house while contributing to retirement funds. Those opportunities come up in due family time whether you are ready or not.

It would have been so much easier for me to just have sold the store when I divorced and put money into a down payment for a house and beef up the retirement. But I think I am better ahead. I have equity in an asset/business that pays me a salary. Even though it is more painstaking at times its worth it. And it IS part of the retirement plan right??

It would have been easier to buy a house in town too and not live in the old farm house and have bought the land. Wow did we get a good price from BF's parents. But we will have the house we want eventually and the land is kept in the family. And we will have an asset that pays us rent even after it is paid off. Also part of the retirement plan.

The cabin will be so worth it! And you will see that this summer and for many summers(even as part of the retirement plan, common theme in my reponse*wink*). To have it paid off in 5 years is fabulous!

I also understand wanting new wheels. I will be looking into that in the future. I know I don't drive our new car much but it was 0% and we have just a little over two years left to pay on it. I live rurally and I do need something reliable. A vehicle will be part of my three part savings plan when I am done ticker number 1 on my siggy.

Do try to take a break and enjoy that cabin though. You won't be good to anyone crashing and burning Marie!







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2010
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 6:58pm

I don't think you're nuts, Marie.

Robyn CL- Debt Support Group


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