Any Suggestions?
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| Wed, 05-05-2010 - 1:35pm |
Hi to all. I need some help with any suggestions on what to do when I feel overwhelmed and find myself going back to my old bad habits.
Yesterday was very stressful and I almost bought some items from Hermes. There is a cashmere and silk 56"x56" shawl that is calling my name. It is an old time pattern from Hermes. I have dessert plates with the same horses on them. The other item would be a Christmas gift for DD. The 3rd item was a 'bit' scarf ring thing.
I have many Hermes scarves but find it hard to wear them. They are so thick that they don't drape that well. I love them for the patterns. I have seen them framed and may do that some day. I thought that the horse bit (snaffle bit) thing might help me wear the darn things.
Together, the 3 items would add about $1500 to my debt!! I know it is crazy, but that is what has gotten me where I am.
I've gotten better. I think that some of the places that I buy from are going to cut me off because I have been sending things back like crazy.
Anyway, any tips on how NOT to spend would be greatly appreciated.
DH is out of town. DD is going through a tough break up (she instigated it) and DS is graduating college this weekend.
I am at a loss to help my DD. She is inconsolable. My first instinct is to buy something for her. That's what my mom always did. However, these days I know better than to buy anything for her and give it to her right away. I would have bought the Hermes item for her for Christmas.
Why Hermes? It is personal. Also because I am a horse woman and Hermes started as a saddle maker and still does a lot of horse motif items.
Another trigger place for me is Neiman Marcus. Bad for me.
Please know that I am no different from anyone. I just spend my money on stupid stuff from higher priced stores. Ugh. I hate it. I also do not like branding. Where people wear designer label everything. That looks really trashy to me. My reason for buying high end items is that they last and look better in the long run than trendy items.
As crazy as it sounds I have started Christmas shopping. I have decided that I am going to cut down as much as possible and also pay the minimum on my accounts during the months of Oct-Dec so that I can use the cash that I will be paying on my cc's for the Christmas gifts.
Please help me before I go back on the Hermes site. I now remember that I did slip up and bought some items from Neiman Marcus. Back they will go. Neiman Marcus is another place that will probably cut me off, soon.
I was under so much stress yesterday & had no one to talk to about it. I also had 'only' $190

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First of all, WELCOME.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
One persons Hermes splurge is another persons Starbucks splurge. We all have these moments. Norma is right, when you get the urge to spend then come here and talk it out. We all have these urges sometimes. I especially understand when it comes to spending on the kids. I hardley ever buy something for myself but am constantly picking up small things for my children.
An idea for your daughter would just be spending some time with her. I remember when I was a teenager and anytime one of my sisters or myself went through a breakup (I have 7 sisters, this happened a lot) my mother was amazing. She always found a way to take the time to baby us a little and do something special. That doesn't mean she spent a lot of money on it, there were 12 of us there wasn't any money to spend lol. We would do home pedicures and facials, bake a tone of brownies and cookies and watch old Doris Day movies and stuff ourselves. Really all we needed was a sympethetic ear and someone to hang out with. I'm sure your daughter is the same way and doesn't need an expensive gift to know you feel bad and want to help her through a rough patch.
Thank you, sweet lady.
We call the pasture pets, 'lawn ornaments.' I love them and am glad you are providing a home for yours.
I was riding quite a bit until we got a new pup. He is a funny guy but is a puppy and needs lots of care. He has destroyed my patio sofa, an
Adventuresome,
Replacing a bad habit with a good one sometimes works. When you think about shopping start looking for a job or a 2nd job. I find it is difficult for me to spend any money when I am working. Or another hobby that does not require funds like walking, playing board games with kids, reading books from the library.
Good luck, try to make life simple.
=
Edited 5/6/2010 1:16 pm ET by money4nothing35
Galstorelady,
That is a very good idea. I have enough work here to last for months.
As silly as it sounds, ebay has been a good 'job' for me.
Right now I have to pack up a bunch of items and mail them.
Just knowing that there are others that offer advice is an immense help. It was never this way when I HAD a life. I don't now.
My own fault. I have never gotten moved in because I do not like this house. It is overwhelming and was stupid but we are stuck with it.
Moving onward. Each day, trying to move onward.
Actually, we did pay that kind of tax in more than one country. I also pay my own credit cards in full every month (not my husband). When charities are concerned, we do more than just write a check, I spent a couple years running a clinic in South America.
The last thing I picked up at Hermes was a close-contact saddle. That was last fall. Too busy doing other interesting thing these days to even get close to a store.
Not a believer in using shopping as therapy for depression, stress, nor using money to buy acceptance and love.
Hmm not sure I have much advice for you. I'm battling these issues myself. Its worse because I am moving into a new house that I am rennovating. EVERYTHING is important and my wish list is so long.
The only thing stopping me is just stepping away from the computer and trying to divert my energies.
As an aside, I feel your daughters pain. I am sure she appreciates your sympathy and support. I went through a break up in December and my mom came and stayed with me for a few days (I am 28 and live on my own too!). Chocolate goes a long, long way ;)
Bex -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."
Bex -
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