need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2007
need advice
12
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 2:20pm
Just got married to my fiance of 3 years. Found out the day before we left that we are also going to have a baby by the end of this year. Thing is, I'll be 40 in July, he will be 32 in July. I have a daughter who will be 18 in September and another who will be 11 in September. He has a 7 year old Son and a 4 year old Daughter. All these years together and now, a baby?
I'm a little scared - really, a lot scared. I'm not sure how to cope. Not sure how to tell my Girls or my family.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 3:53pm

First of all congrats on your pregnancy. I am 43 and 11 weeks pregnant and at first I had alot of mixed feelings because of my husbands reaction, but after reading these boards and all the positive comments from everyone I am actually starting to get a little excited. I am sure this happened for a good reason and just remember everything will work out for the best. Just think of the joy that you will have from having a baby again.

As far as telling your family I really can't say a whole lot since I still haven't told my family. But I am sure they will be excited. If not right away I am sure with time they will. Good Luck and hope you keep us informed.

Jill

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:29pm

Welcome to the board and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 10:43pm

Im also feeling a little unsure about how to tell my children and family. I think my oldest will be worried for me and the baby, the middle will probably be concerned about how our family dynamics will change, and the youngest (9) will probably be thrilled! I just dont want to lose the pregnancy and then have to tell them that. Im only 6 weeks along, but my kids and I are so close, I think they will start to wonder whats up soon. When would you suggest I tell them? I dont see my doctor till next week, and still I will only see the medical assistant and not the OB---I want a little reasurrance!!

thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 1:36am

Well, if you can hold out a little while in telling the kids, that probably is best.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 11:36am
Thanks so much Carol, for your reassurance! Last night I was up at 130 am with what felt like cramps. I am so nervouse lately, that gas pains, stretching pains, whatever, scare me.
Unfortunately my OB is one of only 2 in town that aceept my insurance. He is also one of the few docs who accepts Medi-Cal, so he is SWAMPED and always busy. I just called not and moved my first appt up to Wednesday, explaining that I am very worried and have been having some cramping. I will be seeing the nurse practitioner and not the doc, as he is out this whole week (figures!)
I guess once I move past the points you referred to, I will feel better. For now, I will keep a tight lip (its hard) and just try to relax! Thanks again for your words!
natalie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 2:32pm

Hi Natalie,


I'm glad that I could help a little.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 12:20pm

Hi Natalie,
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope every thing is going well today. I stop in to give support to those who might be struggling with an unplanned pregnancy. I had a baby boy in November. I was 44, been married 22 years and had a 15,12 and 11 year old. I did not take being pregnant well at all. We waited to tell the kids until after we had the NT ultrasound at 12 weeks. We took them in at 17 weeks when I had an amnio so they could see the baby. My oldest read a book and my 2 younger one faught after they found out the sex. Anyway, my 12 and 11 year olds were thrilled about having a baby. My older son was ok with it. He would help me up the stairs when I was tired and was very kind to me.

I worried about everything. We would outgrow our house. I would have to quit my volunteer work at the kids' schools. My freedom would be lost,. Would the baby be healthy, etc...We added a bedroom to the basement, I had an amnio, I visit the schools with the baby. And most of all, I really enjoy being with him. The pregnancy went well. I carried him until 41 weeks 2 days. Delivery was a breeze.

He is now the star of the family. Everyone loves him and he loves everyone. I am able to run to the store alone if the kids are home. If I really don't want to take him and they aren't busy, I tell them they have baby duty. Other times, I'll ask them if they can watch him so I can run out. If they don't want to, then I'll take him with me. It has been fun watching my 15 year old son grow to love him. At first he wasn't too interested in holding him. Not that he didn't like him, but rather the baby didn't do much. Now that he smiles and goos and laughs, my older son will play with him and hold and kiss him. His friends will give him a bottle if we are in the car. It's really cute.

It wasn't what I had planned, but it has been wonderful. It is amazing watching him learn new things and sharing it with the family. The kids get excited about all his milestones too.

Good luck,
Tammy

I'm sure everything will work out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 2:32pm

Well since yesterday my OBs nurse practioner called me to cancel my appt and keep my original one for next week. She was so unfeeling and cold-i was really upset after our conversation-she basically told me if my eggs were aleady old there is nothing they could do about it anyway. She doesnt even have the capablity to do an ultrasound while the doc is out for the week,,,,,thanks a lot.
Ive been feeling REALLY sick-feverish and some cramps, along with a MASSIVE headache that kept me up almost all night. Ive also been very emotional and touchy and cant stop crying. Im sure some of this has to do with the fact that I stopped taking my antidepressant-i had been taking Paxil for 10 years. Im a wreck and all i want to do is stay in bed......
The NP told me that i continued to cramp I should go to the ER--not very reassuring but then again I just may do that. I will keep you posted.....

natalie

Avatar for carolbc2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 4:22pm

Oh Natalie,


I am so sorry that the NP treated you so badly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:15pm

Natalie,

That NP sounds unprofessional and is a bitch. I would tell her that you would hold her personally accountable if you miscarry. While there is no way to prove she caused it, there is certainly proof that she wouldn't see you when you told her you were having problems and needed to be checked out.

Your "old eggs" is no reason to treat you with less professionalism and compassion than any other patient. If anything, they should treat you BETTER because you are older and more likely to have problems/aches than a 22 year old. By her reasoning, hell, why treat the elderly? They're old and more likely to get sick and die than a 30 year old. Let them just fester in their filth and die. What the hell?

I went to the ER when I thought I was miscarrying and they were able to do an ultrasound, verify that my cervix was closed and also check for the baby's heartbeat. It was very reassuring at the time. I will warn you that they didn't want to do the ultrasound but my OB had insisted to them that they do it to doublecheck. Since your doctor and NP won't do this, insist to he ER doc to do this for you.

Good luck!

  

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Pages