when did you/will you tell others

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
when did you/will you tell others
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:07pm

I cannot decide when to tell our family...in some ways, I think we should wait until 12-20ish weeks (since I'm old and things happen) but then I think, I could lose the baby and we'd certainly tell if that happened and maybe they'd be disappointed if they didn't get to share in the joy, only the sadness.

My family has been harassing me to get pregnant for years (and didn't know we've been trying) and I worry that telling them too early will make the pregnancy seem to last FOREVER.

Just wondering when and why you told.



Sean 2/8/98
Erin 1/26/00
EDD for #3 4/9/08

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2000
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:17pm

When I was pregnant at 40 with my twins - I didn't want to tell anyone for the reasons you mentioned.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:42pm

20 weeks is alot to wait I think.

When I was pg with ds I told everyone immediately...I was 27 and ignorant!

When I was pg with dd#1, after 2 m/c's I waited until about 8-9 weeks or so....once they saw the h/b I was ok.

When I was pg with dd#2 I waited until I was 13 weeks as I had had another m/c in between. I was feeling fine and those around me knew....I was in maternity clothes...except for my ds who at 15 was totally oblivious to every thing around him. As family lives in NY and we are in Fla, we were able to hold off telling them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 9:30am
My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage after 11 weeks. We had told everyone, and it was SO hard to have to tell them all it was over. I then had a healthy baby girl, but we only told a few people before the first trimester was over. I am pregnant again (6 weeks) and I am only telling one friend, until after the first trimester. Part of the reason we are waiting is because we are being cautious, and trying to temper our excitement until be know we are through the dangerous time. Posting here gives me a chance to share with "friends" in a safe way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 2:06pm
This is my third pregnancy...I have a 2yr old DD, i had a mc in Feb07, and now I am 10wks along. Personally, I tell my husband first and then, 2 minutes later, everyone else!! It does make sense to wait if that is more comfortable for you. I just think that the people who love us would want to be supportive in good times and in bad. For me, I really needed the extra love, support and hand holding during my mc. And there is nothing like sharing every detail of your pregnancy with the people in your life who are just thrilled for you!!
Hope this helps!




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-1999
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:06pm

I told everyone at 14 wks after I had the results of my CVS test. I had a previous m/c and told everyone at 8 wks I was pregnant then had dh make the awful calls to everyone that I had m/c.

I also knew my family would be very concerned that the baby would have a genetic defect b/c of my age. I didn't want to worry them so it was great to tell them that I was pregnant and we already know she's genetically normal (and that the baby is a she).

Cathie, mom to Audrey & Emily 12 yrs, Libby 2 yrs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 5:31am

I was already about eight weeks along when I found out that I was pregnant.

We waited until I was about 14 weeks along to tell our children. We wanted to give them a chance to come to terms with it before telling the rest of the family, relatives and friends.

My in-laws were about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary four weeks later so we decided to wait and tell everyone then and that way the in-laws had a very special present, too.

It was kinda hart to keep it quiet especially the last two weeks because we live close by and by that time I was already showing so I tried to stay out of their way as much as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 10:58am

HI, I only told a few people, at first, mainly my closest friends, then after I went to the doctor, I was about 8 weeks, I told people,

your family has been dying for you to have a baby, sure if something happens they will be sad, but I think you hit the nail on the head, let them share in the joy, Telling people wont make the pregnancy longer, because you already know you are pregnant and it you that determines how long a pregnancy feels. So far I feel like I have been pregnant all year. and Im only 21 weeks. By 20 weeks the baby will be kicking and you will be showing.. by that time people will either guess you are pregnant or think your getting fat.

anyway, good luck and congratulations!!!!!