unhappy with nurse practitioner

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
unhappy with nurse practitioner
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 3:16pm

Hello all,

I've just been feeling a little uncomfortable since my 12-week visit yesterday with the nurse practitioner. First of all, I felt like she was talking down to me the whole time I was in there. I won't bore you with all the details, but I think what bothered me the most was how I felt about my age (40). I have four kids and she asked me quite rudely, "Will this be your last?" Although it will be, I really felt it was inappropriate for her to ask me, especially in the tone she used. Maybe I am just being sensitive (lately I cry at almost anything, but not this :)), but she just rubbed me the wrong way. Unfortunately, in the practice I go to, they require you see the nurse practitioner for certain visits, and right now they are short one doctor. She is also new to the office since my last pregnancy. The whole time I felt very uncomfortable with her and her mannerisms. I just needed to vent. Has anyone ever felt this uncomfortable with a doctor/nurse? Thanks for listening.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 9:55pm

I can relate!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 8:56pm

I am sorry you're having problems with certain individuals at your doctors office, but I firmly believe that because I pay the bills I get to say who sees me, My doctors office used to have the policy that you had to see all the docs there but I told them NO.. I didn't I told them that I pick my doc because of who he is, not because of his group. I didn't want a woman looking at my hooch... and I didn't want that old grandpa doc poking around there either. LOL

my doc was my age and well I have found that male doctors are actually better and nicer then woman docs Ok so thats mean, but it is the way I feel and I am the one paying so I get my way. we all know the golden rule, "ye who has the gold makes the rules". I personally am a very strong willed woman and well if I don't like the way I am being made to feel, I tend to open my mouth and voice it very opinionated. sometimes this is a flaw.. but other times it saves me from being treated unfairly or being made to feel put down upon.

When I was giving birth to my first child, I had this old crone of a nurse to said to me "oh stop being a baby, it cant hurt that bad" needless to say, that woman was kicked out of my delivery room and I refused to ever let her back in. I am sorry, I didn't feel the need to let her back in. I was paying for it, and she was out of line. Even if I was being a big baby, bedside manners mean everything to me. We are pushing a bowling ball out our a** and it hurts. After being in pain for 10 hours you tend to not want to be nice anymore, and should you have to mind your manors when you are in pain? HECK NO, give me the good drugs or deal with my truck driver mouth.... because thats what you get when I am in pain for a long time... a nasty truck driver who doesn't care if your feelings are hurt... did I feel bad after, well yes, I felt guilty after but I was still in pain... but I was in pain and not in a normal frame of mind like temporary insanity.

Anyway... what I am trying to say is, dont let people push you around, it is your dime and well they are working for you! If they are unhappy in their job they can always find a new one. Expect respect no matter what your social or economic situation is, its not up to them to decide what is right or wrong for you or do decide if you are too old or not! Their job is to keep you healthy and happy!

Good luck I hope my ramblings help. If not, chalk it up as just another crazy pregnant lady high on Prenatal vitamins. LOL



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2006
Thu, 12-27-2007 - 6:53am


I have worked for doctors for nearly 20 years now and I can tell you it doesn't matter what the policy is, if you are not happy with whom you are seeing, you can change that at any time. 99% of practices will accommodate whatever request you make AS LONG AS YOU ARE A CURRENT PATIENT. Much fewer will accommodate your request if you are a totally new patient.

I can say that I have worked in practices that had so many patients (and enough revenue) that they could tell a patient to lump it. It didn't matter to them if they lost a patient here or there.

It is your choice. It can't hurt to ask, but you also should be prepared to do whatever it takes to move on.

If you have a private insurance (particularly a managed care plan), complaining to the state and/or your insurance company (try this one first) will almost always produce results. OB services, particularly high risk PGs (anyone over 40 qualifies for the most part), are very expensive services and believe me the doctor doesn't want to find himself in a situation where he won't get paid because his NP has no social skills.

If you are Medicaid, it depends on your state. Some states are better than others at responding to complaints.

I agree though with the PPs, it is your dime (or it is ours if you are Medicaid) so make sure you are getting your money's worth.

good luck.

yvonne :-)

Yvonne :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 7:53pm
If you ever get the question, "Will this be your last?" from a NP again, consider responding with your own question: "Why do you ask? How will that impact my pregnancy?"


Married, age 45

Conceived naturally December 2006

Miscarried February 2007

IVF #1 with DE Nov 2007 - BFP!

Beta #1 11/09/07 - 78.7

Beta #2 11/12/07 - 564

EDD 7/18/2008

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They let us prove how badly we want things."