Bad Day w/ DD Hates me 4 having baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2008
Bad Day w/ DD Hates me 4 having baby
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 1:27pm

Some of you know the "story" behind my 21 yo DD and for those of you don't, she had a baby last in June 2007(a DD) full term and it died during the birth process because it aspirated on meconium.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 3:41pm

Oh Rachelle I am so sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 6:08pm

Hi Rachelle!

I am also very sorry about your daughters behavior and completely agree with PP that she is, indeed, in a very bad place right now.

Mom to Jeffrey, a 7 year old ball of fire,&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2007
Sun, 08-03-2008 - 12:52am

I agree with the previous posters and the state of mind your daughter is in...I wouldn't let her any where near the new baby. Maybe some day, but I wouldn't trust her at this point. She has a lot of issue's she needs to get over and work out before she would be stable enough to persue a relationship with you, let alone your new baby boy.

I wish you all the luck. Don't stress over the situation (I know it's almost impossible), but you have to think of your new baby and how much he's going to need his mommy in tip top shape. You need to get threw this pregnancy both mentally and emotionally. Stress can do a lot of things to you...the last thing you need right now. Concentrate on what's to come and not what has happened. You WILL get threw this. We are all here for you to lean on for support. Don't forget that.

Sakari at 1 month old:

sakari small

Sakari at 2 months old


2 months old


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
Sun, 08-03-2008 - 11:29am

Oh Rachelle,

I'm so sorry go had to go through all that with your daughter. I have been wondering about you and

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
Sun, 08-03-2008 - 3:35pm

Shame on your DD to attack you in such a way pregnant or not pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Sun, 08-03-2008 - 7:55pm


Oh my gosh, that is really upsetting. I am sure you are very conflicted about what to do next. I think the other gals here are giving good advice: Distance for now, but leave a loving door open.

Clearly, your daughter is hurting and lashing out. I am sorry it is at you.

Take care of yourself and your baby... let your daughter know that when she can return your affection or at least respect - you will be there for her.


CL TTC > 40 Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Mon, 08-11-2008 - 11:43pm

OH Rachelle im so sorry that your daughter is still grieving so much that she wants everyone to feel her pain. I know a few people like that who are miserable and are not happy unless everyone is miserable. My mother can be one of those people, I tend to ignore her and keep my happy disposition, have even tossed her out of my house too.

I know you love your child but you cant let here treat you like dirt, you are her mother and you did give her life, I would say go about your life have your baby love your baby and some day she will come around, when she has like 20 kids of her own. I would wish that when she turns 40 she get pregnant and maybe she will see things differently. I wish I could help you but some times just being able to vent to others makes you feel better! I hope you do cause stress isnt good for you and baby!

Cheer up soon you will have a little one who will love you to death no matter what!

Good luck

baby Mikey at 2 months Wow what a change

baby development

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 11:13pm

Rachelle, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with such anger from your daughter.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2008
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 2:26pm

{HUGS} I read your story and I feel so much for you! I am a Believer and I see the gift of life as precious. I have been reading a book called "Be Fruitful and Multiply" by Nancy Campbell. It is such a nice book. You really are getting nailed sister by the world's view on PG and birth by so many angles. I can't help but think that your baby is very special indeed with a special plan of God's for his life??

I also feel very sorry for your DD. She is suffering from her loss. Her grief is really torturing her. She is lashing out in her pain. She really needs someone with wisdom and experience to help her thru this. I can see at this point its too painful for her to speak to you about it.

I really do feel your pain in your post. I will be praying for your DD to be able to find healing and peace with this grief process she is going thru. I pray that your relationship with her becomes stronger in the end. I also pray for a safe delivery of your baby and that you are not too upset during your PG...this is not a good time for you to have to deal with these very stressful emotions.