is this normal to feel ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2008
is this normal to feel ?
8
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 9:41am

i am 41 and have an 11 yr old dd.she is spoiled,dearly loved and doted over.i have allways been very involved in her school (room mom ect..) girl scouts and all of her activities, she is the love of my life and we are VERY close.


so i find myself feeling that i couldnt possibly love another child like i love her.and allmost feel guilty like this child will take away from her and i.


i also kinda feel like maybe oncei hold it in my arms,ill be in love just like i was with her,and everything will work out,i mean after all,most moms have more than 1 child!


but i wonder is this normal for me to feel this way?

jamie<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Mon, 08-25-2008 - 11:20pm

There is one very important thing you have to remember....

LOVE IS UNENDING!!!!!

YOU CAN MAKE AS MUCH OF IT AS YOU WANT AND NEED.

So all that love you give to your daughter, you will still have that love! You will create more love to give to the new baby! I have 7 children and each one holds a special place in my heart... one is the first born, one is my baby boy one is my baby girl. one is my first girl, one is my little stinker... all different kids all love to death yet no one child love any more or any less..

and yes its normal to worry about how a new baby may change your relationship with your daughter, but I dont think it will if you are close now, you will be just as close when the baby comes.

Good luck

Dyan
Dyan







baby Mikey at 2 months Wow what a change


baby development



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 12:00am
That's what this Board is for.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 3:10pm

The easy answer is "of course, you can love more than one."

Shelli, married to Jason for 18 years, mom to Derek(15), Alyssa(12), and Carly (2/26/09)


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 3:03pm
oh joan,.... that was beautiful.im so glad that i put the post up because i was worried that it wasnt normal to be feeling that way,but now i know it is. i thank you all so much for your honest replies!!

jamie<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 2:37pm

I felt exactly this way when I was pregnant with my now 7 mo old.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 11:47am

I feel exactly the same way. I love my 3-year-old daughter so much it hurts, and we are very close. I sometimes feel guilty when I think with longing of meeting DS, I feel as though I am betraying her. I find myself hugging DD all of the time and reminding her of how much I love her. I dont know how my emotions can cope with this all twice over simultaneously!! I hope I can at least convince DD that my love for her will never diminish.


Torielle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 11:06am
I have had a few thoughts like this myself, but I'm not to concerned about it only because I have had several friends who while pregnant with their second children, were
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 10:56am

I felt that way with all my pregnancies.

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A baby is a gift from God