40 and am 3 weeks pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
40 and am 3 weeks pregnant
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:32pm
Hi I am new here I was looking on the internet for some help in making my decision.My pregnancy was not planned. My husband and I have a two year old daughter with the help of fertility drugs.I have two sons from previous marraige 16 and 18 love their sister like crazy.but when there was any mention of maybe another child my oldest son said no way mom,I am not sure if it is because maybe it would embaress him infront of his friends that I would be older and pregnant.My husband is very happy but I have had second thoughts I booked a termination for next week but each time I look at my daughter I feel very guilty because she has brought me so much joy.Then on the other hand if I keep this baby will it ruin my relationship with my son,am I ready to have to small children again I have not forgotten how hectic it can be. Not sure if I will be able to handle the turmoil I am emmotional all the time not sure if it is the pregnancy or the decision I have to make.Also I am very concerned with the health of the baby I just started taking folic acid today can it still work in protecting the baby.Please help I need a woman to talk to even though my husband is there I dont think he would fully understand.thanks


Avatar for coloradomom2b
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 9:27pm

Wow. That is a lot on your plate! I am glad that your husband is happy. That must make it easier on you. How does he feel about you terminating your pregnancy? It would be so nice for your daughter to have a sibling, don't you think?

As far as your sons go....one is probably out of the house by the time the baby is born, and the other only has to share the house for a year. Honestly, I would not even consider letting your sons to have a vote in this matter. Make the decision based on you and your husband because you two are the ones who will be spending the next 18 years with your little one. (Teenagers are selfish anyway and only think of themselves.)

A note about folic acid....I was told years ago that I would never conceive children again. I was not taking a multi-vitamin or anything. I didn't start taking a vitamin with folic acid until I was about 7-8 weeks pregnant. I talked to my doc about it because I was concerned. He said that the food industry has been supplementing all of our food with folic acid for several years. My doc said that I wasn't to worry about not having it in my system, that I probably have quite a bit already.

This baby, too, will bring you joy like your daughter has. You are in shock right now. I was too. I was very upset and angry and did NOT want another child. Now I am 6 months pregnant, and I can't wait to meet my little girl. :) She is a gift from God and I know He has a plan for me and this new baby. My grandmother used to say..."If God gives it to you, He can bring you through it."

Good luck on your decision. (((HUGS))) Again, this is a decision only YOU and your husband can make. This is not a decision for your sons to make. They are not the ones who will be raising the baby, you will.

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Feb 09 Siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 11:59pm

I definitely agree with poster Jamie above.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 9:50am
Please dont let a teenager run your life decisions for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 11:25am


I agree with pps' ' input and think you need to determine what YOU want, separate from what your son has to say about it.

Mom to Jeffrey, a 7 year old ball of fire,&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 3:23pm
Hi, I want to thank all you guy's for your support you have certainly made today a better day for me.I am still thinking about the choice I want to make as my appointment is this sat at 9am.I am not sure if I am using the board right if not could you let me know thank's. I am sure tonight will be another sleepless night but knowing I have someone to talk to helps alot.thankyou again Karen
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 10:11pm

Hi there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 1:59am
KD, you are using this board exactly right!

Shelli, married to Jason for 18 years, mom to Derek(15), Alyssa(12), and Carly (2/26/09)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 8:09am
Hi everyone,just got up this morning and I had brown blood when I wiped with some cramping not really sure what is going on has anyone had this? I have to quickly drive my kids to school but will get back on the board later in the day.Karen
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2008
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 11:07pm


I hope you read my post.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2008
Mon, 11-10-2008 - 3:00pm

Hi, I am in the same shoe!