Really feeling guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Really feeling guilty
1
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 12:51pm

For those of you out there with more than one child, when you were going from one to two, did you feel very confused, scared, nervous, etc., about how to handle two?

~Valerie             
  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 3:18pm

Don't worry, it is totally normal! You probably had all the same feelings at some point with your first child too! I won't lie to you, it can be a hard adjustment, but well worth it. Remember that your hormones are raging and your energy not what it would normally be, and that all plays a huge part in how you see things at this time. Relax, it will all work out. Don't worry about what will happen, just try to enjoy each day right now.

As for how your 2 yr old will take it all will be partly dependent on her own personality combined with your approach and expectations. Little ones usually follow our lead, if we expect them to be jealous and have problems they will, but if we expect it to go smoothly, it usually does. Of course there are always exceptions, you can do everything right and still have problems. How verbal is she? Can you talk to her about it? My 4 yr old was not very verbal at that age, and my daughter was born just over a month before he was two. We did not talk to him about her much until just a few weeks before she was born. We encouraged him to feel her move, and to give her a kiss goodnight each day. I was a bit concerned about him, but not too much. Nothing prepared me for his response though! When my friend brought the kids in to see us the day she was born, I thought he would be missing me terribly and be happy to see me. Sure enough, he came straight for me......in order to climb over me and get to her! Lol! He cried when he left to go home, not because I was staying, but because he couldn't take her with him! They are still very close, it is so nice to see. :-) It was a different situation entirely (DS #2 is adopted) with my older children and they are definitely not as close.

I know of several different things that women have done to help with the transition. Some have encouraged the older child to give a present to the new baby, and also have the new baby give a present to the older child. Some have gotten the older child a doll so they could have their own baby to cuddle when mom is busy with the baby. Hope some of that helps, I am sure some of the other ladies here will also have some great ideas for you.

Michelle


Loving Mom to three

Michelle


Loving Mom to three rambunctious