Dreaded Phone Call, Part 2 THE UPDATE

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Dreaded Phone Call, Part 2 THE UPDATE
13
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 1:06pm

Hi ladies.

Just wanted to touch base and say thank you for all of your support. I know you know how important it is as not many have walked in our shoes.

So basically, over the weekend, I had convinced myself that due to my great NT u/s neck measurement (1.88 mm), I just got a false positive and that everything was going to be okay. I did get an appt. scheduled with the Perinatologist for TOMORROW at 8 AM. Otherwise, I was feeling good about things.

Until yesterday.

At my 14-week appt. my regular OB (it was the on-call OB that spoke with my husband and I about our results) was basically doom and gloom. The first thing she said when she walked in the room was, "I'm so sorry that you got the bad news about your NT results."

I said, " you mean the blood work part, b/c the NT u/s looked good, right?" and she says, "yes, but you are definitely elevated risk for DS."

Okay. So tell me something I don't know.

Well, she did.

When I mentioned that I have several girlfriends who have had positive triple screens, she cut me off and said, "this wasn't a triple screen. This was an NT blood test at 12-weeks. Much more sensitive." Which I interpreted as much more accurate.

She also made some odd comments like,

"good thing we already know you'll be having a c-section (2 prior c-sections) as the one thing we know for sure is that vaginal delivery is risky for DS kiddos."

After finding the baby's heart beat on doppler (she prepared me for not finding it):

"Well, that's always a good sign. The longer THESE babies have a heart beat in utero, the better their chances for survival."

WTH...sorry to be so crass here, but you'd think this was a DIAGNOSIS instead of risk assessment.

After leaving her office yesterday, I spent the entire day in tears...and I'm not really sure why. My logical brain tells me that I can cope with a DS diagnosis, but my heart is breaking. What have I done to my spouse, my children, etc. Why couldn't my heart be happy with just 2 children, is this God's way of punishing me for not being satisfied with my 2 blessings (one of which is an in vitro baby, the other a bonus baby), etc.

I KNOW I'M BEING COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL HERE, and today is a better day, but wow...I was just a mess yesterday.

Anyway, thank you for letting me share my fears, anxiety, etc.

Blessings,
Valerie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 2:27pm

I am so sorry that u are so upset. But...excuse my French, but that dr. is an idiot!


It is a risk Assesment test...and yes, it is supposed to be "slightly" better and more accurate beacsue of the NT measurement...it is not a test to diagnose. Only the CVS and Amnio can do that.


So...I have to say, I would no longer see this Dr. Not only is the "bed side manner" awful but he is wrong. And talking about a baby that has not been dx with anything and chances are it will be fine is scary.


I have to tell this to myself as well...calm down. I had my amnio today, have 3 days to wait and I am OK. Being positive until I have a reason to be negative.


The odds are still with us that the baby is fine (mine is 1-17 for 18) As my husband put it..Id take those odds on a bet every time. Our kids being Juv. Diabeteic is a 1-20 (because my husband is) and we rolled those odds.


So, u have options...wait another 2 weeks for an amnio or see how it goes with a level 2 ultrasound.


I know this

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 4:49pm

Way for that doctor to suck the joy out of your pregnancy.


There is more testing you can do to see precisely what is going on, or you can acknowledge there's some level of risk and let it go. But she doesn't have some definitive diagnosis, the dingbat.

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,


but you can call me


KelliSue


Laugh a little - www.kellikolz.blogspot.com

We're blessed with an expected October 2010 baby, after the loss of our previous two pregnancies.

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,


but you can call me


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 5:32pm

Valerie, Your doctor sounds like an idiot.

Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 8:56pm

Wow. That really is poor bedside manner, not to mention overstating what are still just risks at this point. I'm having the same

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 8:57pm
Oh, Valerie, I'm so sorry your doctor turned your visit into such a sad one. While the baby's risk is elevated for DS, like the other posters said, nothing is definitive as the blood work and the NT ultrasounds are both used as screening tools and not as a diagnosis. Furthermore, DS babies very often survive in utero and are born as otherwise healthy babies. How dare he refer to DS children as "THESE" children. That's just cold and insensitive. Especially when he's not sure your child is a DS child. I realize this is a very personal decision, but if it were me (and I realize it's not), I'd seriously consider changing OB's. It's still early in your pregnancy so you'd have time to develop a good rapport and doctor/patient relationship with someone else. I'm so sorry you left feeling so down and scared. It's perfectly natural to feel what you're feeling, especially considering the words your doc used during your visit. I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and I look forward to hearing future updates from you. Lean on us whenever you need to. ((Hugs)) to you and best wishes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 12:10am

I'm so sorry you were treated that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 7:49am
I believe Valerie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 5:18pm

Valerie,


I lurk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 6:02pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 8:49pm

I don't even know what to say to that.

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