49 and Pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
49 and Pregnant
18
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 4:54pm

Hi!

I am 49 and recently discovered, much to our surprise, that we're having another child. A little background....We have twin daughters that are 15 years old and a 4 year old son who was born when I was 45. You can see that we're not new to the adventures of high-risk pregnancies. My emotions are all over the place! I am nauseated all day which is really wearing on me! I definitely recognize that we are blessed...again. I have friends who wanted children, but could not get pregnant. I just had figured that the odds of getting pregnant at 49 were very, very slim. In fact, I wasn't even paying attention to things like first day of last period. I'm pretty sure that I had a period in January, but I can't remember when it started or stopped. I'm also even more aware of all the things that can go wrong. I tried to set up an appointment with my Ob-Gyn doctor right away, but they wouldn't see me until what we guessed to be 8 weeks which, at this point, is next week. I should have insisted upon an appointment even if it was too early to hear a heart beat, etc. I think that I would have felt better just being able to ask questions. I know that I should be more thankful and be really happy about this baby. I'm just not quite there yet.

Thanks for listening!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 8:39pm
Hello and welcome. Congratulations on baby #4! It's pretty typical that OB's won't see patients before 8 or even 10 weeks gestation. Have you done the blood test for his office yet to confirm your pregnancy? My doc won't even discuss prenatal care with his patients until his office has conclusive lab results confirming the pregnancy. Maybe some docs are more strict about details like that, I'm not sure... If you had a period in January, you're probably already at or very close to eight weeks. Maybe tell his staff that when you call to see if that helps get you in any sooner. I'm sure he'll want to do an ultrasound asap for dating purposes. I look forward to hearing more from you. Congrats again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 7:48am
Hello, welcome, and congratulations. I'm 42 (43 by my due date) and on the road to having my first child. I keep reading about people having trouble getting OB appointments before 8 weeks. Perhaps because my first pregnancy test was in a hospital during week 4 (I was there for something else) but after the US they did at that time didn't detect anything and they thought it might be an ectopic pregnancy, I had my pregnancy confirmed as viable by an ultrasound in week 6. The doctor was also able to detect the heartbeat at that time. I was subsequently referred to a different OB clinic. Maybe because a question had already been raised about whether my pregnancy was viable, I didn't have any resistance to getting an appointment before 8 weeks.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 10:21am

My pregnancy (age 44) was a surprise... and I was VERY ambivalent about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 10:15pm

I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 11:23pm
Hello and welcome. You have to do what is best for you and your family. I think most of us here who surprisingly learned we were pregnant were just as shocked, scared, confused, and overwhelmed as you are. Try not to feel guilty about how you're feeling -- you can't change your feelings; they are what they are. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and am just now coming to terms with the fact that my husband and I will be responsible for the happiness and well being of another human being (we have two young girls now). I've also come to terms with the fact that my friends, all of whom have older children, will be out enjoying middle age doing typical middle age things while I'm still raising small children. I know there will be times I wish I could do some of the things they're doing, but I also know that the love I give to and receive from my children more than compensates for my occasional pangs of materialism and wanting to do things my friends and peers are doing. Now, I say all this not to imply that how I feel is how you will feel; I say this so that you know you're not alone in what you're feeling. At the end of the day, you can only do what is right for you, your husband, your family, and the baby inside you. Best wishes to you. I hope you find peace in whatever you decide. In the meantime, feel free to stick around, pose questions, and post random thoughts, etc. You'll get a ton of different perspectives which you may very likely find helpful.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 6:43pm

Dear nereida2004,

It is normal to be scared; you planned one life and are now facing another. I planned the pregnancy and I am still scared (I am 42 and have a 21 months old boy).

Think about what scares you -- if it is figuring how you will physically handle it, make a plan. If it is fear of birth defects, make an appointment for CVC. Having a 21 and 17 year old can be quite an asset. I have a friend whose 13 year old son loves helping with the baby, without her asking; he loves having a little brother and being useful. They may like hanging out with a little tyke; may make coming home more fun. I wish I could have that; I will have a toddler and a baby (if all goes well with the new pregnancy) at 43, and no older children to help. As for what other people will say -- do you really want them to run your life? The only people that count are your family.

That being said, if you decide that it is not the time in your life to have baby, it is your life and your decision; fortunately we live in an age and place where we have these choices, difficult as they may be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 5:10pm

As you can see from my siggy, I too have older kids plus our bonus baby and we've been married quite a while as well (I'm not pregnant, just here for support).

Shelli, married to Jason for 18 years, mom to Derek(15), Alyssa(12), and Carly (2/26/09)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:54pm

Congratulations on your pg!

Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:58pm

Hi Nereida,


I'm Carol and I am 46.

Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 1:34pm

Hi Nereida ! I was on this board 18 mos. ago. I had an unplanned baby boy at 45, shy 2 mos. of 46 after having only one other child, a 21 year old daughter. It has worked out fine. Don't worry about what other people think. It's what you think that is important. I am now trying to have another. I was unsure as to what to expect, even after he was born. But, this little boy has brought us so much joy - more than we could have ever imagined.

Good luck and don't feel bad if you are not enthused. My husband was not enthralled when we found out I was pregnant and had even talked about termination. My husband could not even live without my son now !! HE tells me weekly that he LOVES coming home from work to his family, instead of an empty house like he used to when single. He can't wait to play with our son and have dinner at the table. The grown daughter is gone doing her own thing, now.

Best Wishes,

Rachelle

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