Should We or Shouldn't We?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
Should We or Shouldn't We?
5
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 12:32pm

Greetings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 8:37pm
Hello, Chibby, and welcome. The last sentence in your post says it all "I do want to have another child!". So go for it! Since you and your fiance both have children/step children, you probably already know what's involved with caring for a newborn, baby, toddler, adolescent, teen, etc.. What's probably most important for you to discuss are the slightly increased risks to the baby (and apparently some to you, too, such as gestational diabetes). Miscarriages and chromosomal abnormalities such as trisomy 13, 18, and 21 (aka Down Syndrome) are also slightly more common in babies conceived to women over 40 (actually, over 35). However, although the risks are somewhat greater for we women of "advanced maternal age", they're still incredibly small. The odds for a women aged 40 to have a child with DS is something like 1:62 which works out to be a >99% chance the baby will not have DS. Don't quote me on this (I'm too lazy to Google anything right now), but if I recall correctly, the odds for a 25 year old woman to have a child with DS is something like 1:2500. So when you compare the two statistics in absolute terms, it seems like there's a huge likelihood a woman of AMA will give birth to a DS child when in reality, there's still less than a 1% chance. So if you and your fiance are willing to accept these risks, along with a somewhat increased frequency of doctor visits and/or ultrasounds, and both of you want a child together as you indicated you did, then go for it! Best wishes to you. Perhaps we'll see you posting a pregnancy announcement here on this board sometime in the future. ; )

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Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 2:50am

For some truly beautiful and inspiring stories about 40-something moms, please have a look at this website:


www.mothersover40.com


I love to read it!!


Good luck to you!


Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 11:03pm

I say hell no, you're not too old for this. I'm 42 and will be 43 by my due date and I'm expecting my first child. It was not really a planned pregnancy, and I'll likely be a single Mom raising this child and that's sure to present some challenges. But I'm extremely excited to become a Mom. Not only that, things have gone fine with the pregnancy overall and it seems I'm on track to have a healthy baby four months from now. I'm just saying at 41, age doesn't have to be the deciding factor concerning whether or not the time is right in your life for this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 7:37pm

Hi Chibby.

My name is Valerie and I am 40. I am currently pregnant with Baby #3 and will deliver 3 weeks shy of my 41st birthday. I can't think of a greater present!

Having a baby over 40 hasn't effected me at all, but I must share that I entered the baby-making game late! LOL Due to male-factor infertility, my husband and I did not conceive our firstborn (daughter) until I was 35. Our second baby, a boy, was a totally spontaneous conception. This third baby, also a boy, is another spontaneous and most-welcome addition! So, as you can see, I've always been AMA when birthin' my babies! LOL

I will share with your that my first trimester NT screening did come back with an elevated RISK for Down Syndrome. Not a diagnosis. That did add a bit of stress to my life, but all of our follow-up appts. with the perinatologist have gone well and no soft-tissue markers have been found for DS. We've made the decision to forgo doing amnio and are just accepting whatever God intends for our little family.

I absolutely do not think you are too old, but I know that there are career considerations as well as other children to consider when making this decision. It sounds as if you are certainly contemplative about it.

Wishing you all the best,
Valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2010
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 9:24am

Many, many thanks for all your replies!