Preventing pregnancy....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Preventing pregnancy....
14
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 4:19pm
I know this might not be the right place to post, but I have no idea where to even look.... I am 40 and just had my last baby four weeks ago. My husband said he'd get a vasectomy when we found out I was pregnant, but now, 10 months later, still no vasectomy. I'm wondering what my options are (due to my age) on how to NOT get pregnant. If my husband is not getting a vasectomy, then I'm not willing to get a tubal. I think I'm too old for the pill.... Any ideas? Thanks!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 7:02pm

Besides the two options you mentioned, the two main other safest methods I can think of are: stop having sex, or use condoms. Not trying to be a smart ass-- I assume those two may be out of the question as well (especially since one of the benefits of marriage seems to be not having to use condoms). I hate to say it, but the options are more limited for us older but still potentially fertile ladies. I have to have this chat with my OB later this month myself. Being a single but dating woman who just had my first baby at age 43 (basically an unplanned pregnancy, even though I'm thrilled with the results), I may just go the condom route (eventually)-- but you know how a lot of men, even men in their 40s, feel about those.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 10:22am
Yeah, I know about condoms.... no fun and not my husband's first choice, but we may have to go that route. I knew the pill isn't recommended for us "mature" ladies, but wasn't sure about an IUD or any other semi-permanent device... Abstinence is fine with me, especially with four kids four and under, but my husband probably wouldn't go for it! ha ha I go for my six week post partum check up next week so I guess I'll just ask my OB then.... Good luck to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 4:29pm
Watch out for condoms. I had my 3rd child (at age 37) when a condom "slipped off" when we didn't realize it. Be careful!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 5:16pm

This is true, I have heard of that, though have never had it happen personally. As I said, I'll ask my doctor to review all my options and decide from there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 7:50pm
The Mirena IUD is a safe choice. The hormones emitted from it stay relatively local (as compared to something like the pill, patch, depro, etc.) and I believe the hormones are "safer" that the other hormone BC options. Another added benefit to it is that for most women, after a few months, monthly bleeding ceases. You still get your period, there's just no bleeding because the hormones from the IUD keep the lining of the uterus thin enough that there's nothing to shed each month. Sometimes it takes a week or so for you to not feel it at all, and there can be minor cramping and bleeding during that time, but once it's in, it can stay in for as long as five years. After it's inserted, the doc brings you in at six weeks to check it. I had it inserted after we had our second daughter but at my six week check up, I asked the doc to remove it because we decided to try for another baby. That's another good thing about it -- once it's removed, there are no lasting effects from it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 3:53pm

I have also recently been reading about Natural Family Planning, which is basically keeping track of your cycle and fertile periods and abstaining from sex during those times when trying to avoid pregnancy. Some people swear by this method, though I'm not sure it would be right for me, and I bet most OB/GYN's would question it as a reliable birth control method.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2005
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 4:15pm
Both the patch and the pill are now safe for women up to menopause. My over 50 friends who are still getting AF use the patch.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 6:50pm
Ha ha. Natural Family Planning works well if a) your cycles are very, very regular and b) you're diligent about keeping track of them. We conceived Joey after DTD on what I thought was day 7 of my cycle....it turned out to be day 14, lol! I didn't realize this until I took a HPT and it was positive. At that very moment, I realized we DTD a week later than what was the "safe" period of my cycle. Oops, my mistake...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:35pm

While the Catholic church might like to tout the effectiveness of Natural Family Planning, I like to think that it a better method for achieving pregnancy, rather than to prevent pregnancy! LOL

I, myself, am a product of NFP, but my mother always told me that it was God's plan for me to be born! :) So, I never think of myself as an "accident". That was in the 60s too...long before women were so self-knowledgeable, comfortable with their own bodies, had access to good information, etc.

And although my parents (and myself) are practicing Catholics, my mother's advice to me on my wedding day was "use birth control, Valerie, and I don't mean NFP.) HA!

Little did I know the joke would be on me since I married someone with low sperm count. BUT, that being said, since we are finished with our "family building" I did have a tubal ligation done during my planned c-section. Which BTW...I just got the bill for...wowzer! Thank goodness for health insurance.

But seriously, like Karen said, you've got be diligent and precise when using the NFP method or you will end up with a blessing as Joan did!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:15am

Very well said, Val.

BTW, I'm not pregnant (at least that I know of -- I tested about a month ago and got a negative result). Both relieved and disappointed (how that possible???). I'm scheduled for my tubal ligation Fri, 10/1. The cost of it is 100% covered by the government here in Ontario so no bills for us, thank goodness! : )

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