Very angry at the responses to Gail.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Very angry at the responses to Gail.
5
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 11:15am
Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I doubt it. If one of our members makes a painful choice, then it's our job to be supportive or to stay out of it. I really resent total strangers coming forward asking somebody to reconsider what is obviously a painful decision made by her family. Don't presume you know what is best for somebody else. *You* made your decision -- let the rest of us make our own. It is certainly not a decision that anybody makes lightly, and it is very unfair to assume that what was best for you is best for another family. You know nothing about somebody else's circumstances and there is no predicting that *your* outcome will be the same for somebody else. I can support whatever decision somebody makes, but I can't abide other people telling me what I should do. Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 10:16pm
<>

When my sister in law's baby was diagnosed with CF and she decided not to continue the pregnancy, I was just sick about it. I went on a CF board and talked to a lot of people. But one woman stood out b/c she had the courage to say that even though she loved her son and couldn't imagine not having him, if she had known then what she knew now, she doesn't know whether she would have continued the pregnancy. That made me realize the reality of it and the reality of what I was expecting my sister in law to go through. I hope to God that my kids aren't carriers but I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 9:44pm
I agree fully. And I wonder - aren't here any families who are unhappy with their child with DS? Would anyone ever dare post something like - We are all suffering, our son and us. We wish we had decided not to continue with this pregnancy. I know there are families like this. But this isn't politically correct, right? Noone came forward and said that it can be hell. Gail wasn't asking for advice. She was sharing her terrible pain with us. How dare anyone post some of these cruel responses? The result of this can only be that anyone else going through something like this will just not post.

I guess I will also get some flaming, but I hope I can take it.

Mira

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 12:54pm
I also was angry at some of the responses from the outsiders, but I thought that some of their messages were very thoughtful and gentle. I agree that this is no place for preaching an agenda, but I do think that sharing one's own experience is appropriate.

One great feature of this new board is the 'ignore' button... if someone is rude or annoying I just hit 'ignore' and I never have to read another comment from that person.

Gail, if you read this, I hope that this board offers you comfort, not pain. I can't imagine what you are going through in this difficult time.

Dawna.


Edited 3/30/2003 1:58:04 PM ET by mica999




Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 12:37pm
Why we feel we must make our opinions known is that family members and the medical community usually never have positive responses to the diagnois of T-21. They immediately talk of termination. They give the worst case senario. When in fact most people with T-21 are not "severly affected" and can learn a great many things. No connections are made to families with children with T-21. Most families are very happily adjusted. My son while has troubles with reading and math has alot of interest he can persuit and is a very personable young man. He has a great sense of humor.

Karol


Edited 3/30/2003 2:08:24 PM ET by klbw67

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 12:27pm
Amen. Most of the women who posted are not regulars on this board but trolls who come over from the down syndrome board to preach that they know what is right for every woman.