Wow, this is a tough one.
The fact that you already are expressing anxiety about it makes me think that you are already feeling overwhealmed--- and you're not even pregnant yet!
In my opinion (and that's all I have to offer you), the best way to try to conceive and to bring a baby into the world is if you are in a calm and peaceful state of mind, and if your household is calm and safe as well. It does not sound like that is the case with you, and that you already have your hands full with so much already.
As you know, a newborn baby takes a lot of time, energy, peacefulness,work and commitment, and if you are already basically strung-out and stressed by dealing with your two older sons, I think you would be feeling more overwhealmed and miserable rather than peaceful.
I am not trying to play amateur psychologist here, but I wonder if you are wanting a baby right now for some unhealthy reasons.
well your other kids not withstanding...
i had my 3 year old just after i turned 40 and shes perfect and a joy in our lives
were pregnant with another now and im 43
Are there any concerns that your older son would do something harmful to the baby?
Shelli, married to Jason for 18 years, mom to Derek(15), Alyssa(12), and Carly (2/26/09)