scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
scared
16
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 6:54am

Hello,


I'm 40 and pregnant and feel overwhelmed! I was so excited that I announced my pregnancy and to my dismay was meet with alot of naysayers!A little background on me.This will be my 3rd pregnancy.My first I was young and was involved in a car accident which left me with a broken femur and shattered pelvis 6 weeks of traction and i tired to tell the doctors something was wrong but they didn't listen needless to say I lost my first son at 38 weeks due to umbilical cord wraped around his neck.Jacob would have been 20 this year.My second everything went very well and my son is 17 years old.I was diagnosed with heart disease 3 years ago with some blockages

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2009
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 9:36am

Congratulations!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 9:37am

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy!

Don't listen to all those family and friend's comments too much. They are saying those things because they are worried but as long as you and the baby are doing well, and the tests come back normal, you are fine!

You sound happy and nervous at the same time which is normal when pregnant at this age. I will be 40 in 2 weeks and have had more tests than my last pregnancy, all of which came back normal (and this was about 5 months after my miscarriage).

Take it one day at a time and enjoy this pregnancy. You can get yourself out of alot of chores when you tell folks that you're pregnant and need to rest!

Gisele

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 10:58am

I'm 42 and will be 43 by the due date. The reactions from family members and friends (those who know so far) have not all been positive for me either. Besides my age, my situation is also complicated by co-occurring health issues

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 12:59pm
first of all congrat on your pg!

Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 1:04pm

Hi Darcie.

First off, CONGRATULATIONS! What a blessing.

Second, I concur with all the other ladies. Don't dwell on the comments made from the family and friends that you thought would be more supportive. I know that is easier said than done! I read an interesting article that talked about how to respond when people don't respond positively to your baby news. Basically it said to keep in mind that MOST of these folks are just concerned about your own well being and don't know any other way to express themselves in a more positive manner. The other thing the article mentioned was that when we build our families, we need to evaluate our outside relationships (even if they are extended family members) for their value and worth. I'm not saying that you need to cut people out of your life...not at all! BUT, perhaps, backing off and becoming a bit "estranged" from those family and friends that are not so supportive will be a way to LESSEN your stress and send a message that you need love and support during this exciting and yes, stressful, time!

I am struggling with a similar situation, although different circumstances. I too am 40...will be 3-weeks shy of 41 when I deliver and several friends and family members (husband's side) have not even ACKNOWLEDGED our pregnancy and we are 13-weeks! Apparently, when we were infertile and suffering losses, they were all about the support, but now that we are happy and pregnant, they've disappeared. I know a few are hurting, they are younger than me and feel it's "their turn", but really...after 11-years and 5 losses you'd think a simple "congratulations" would suffice. I've decided that I can no longer base my happiness on whether they are happy for me.

Finally, with regard to your health concerns, I think it is so smart on your part to have contacted your OB/practitioner and scheduled yourself for appts. b/c you are at higher risk...even w/o your age as a factor. So the naysayers who are making fun of the 5-week pregnant lady, really don't understand the seriousness of the situation.

I wish you well and look forward to your future posts,

Valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 2:12pm

Hello and congratulations! You've come to the right place for support and advice. There are a few of us here who are high risk aside from our being 40 or over. I'm 42 and am a Type 1 diabetic of about 23 years. This baby was a surprise for us (although we tried for about five months last year, we decided to stop trying for various reasons) and when I told my Mom and G'Mom about it, they both reacted negatively. My Mom's response was "Oh, Joannie, I'm so worried for you. Your body can't handle another pregnancy." Gee, thanks, Mom. That's just what I wanted to hear. : ( My G'Mom's response was similar, "Oh, Joannie!". Not what I was expecting or hoping to hear from my G'Mom... Surprisingly, everyone else we told, both family and friends, didn't have any negative reactions to our news.
Try to enjoy the fact that you and your husband created this new little life and don't let the naysayers get you down. Trust me, I know it's much easier said than it is done, but nothing will change the fact that you're pregnant. Yes, it's true, for women over 35 there is an increased risk of some abnormalities and defects; but the odds are still largely in our favor to have a healthy baby. All you can do is take the best care of yourself; the rest is out of your hands. I delivered two perfectly healthy girls despite my being a Type 1 diabetic for many, many years and am hopeful that I'll do the same with this baby. The last month my sugars have been running significantly higher than they normally do which is attributed to 1) a prescription steroid inhaler that was absolutely, positively needed for me to breathe and 2) some kind of a pelvic infection. Both of these affect glucose levels significantly. My OB told me today I'm measuring a bit larger than I should be for where I am in pregnancy and both he and I suspect it's because of my high sugars for the past five weeks. Fortunately, we know via 1) an amniocentisis and 2) a fetal echocardiogram that the baby is free of chrmomosomal, heart, and diaphragmatic disorders, but nothing can guarantee a perfectly healthy baby. So I continue to hold my breath and do the best I can do, and hope this little guy will be OK and happy when he finally arrives in May.

We're here for you. Lean on us whenever you need to. The ladies here have tons of great ideas, thoughts, advice, suggestions, etc., and above all else, offer all the support you (and I!) could need. Best wishes to you. Try to be positive and lean on us whenever you need to. : )

Photobucket



Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 4:00pm

I am 44, and expecting in 4 weeks (we also have an almost-15 year old daughter).


You GO GIRL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 6:23pm
Thank you so much for your support. I really needed to hear some positve input!And congrats!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
In reply to: darcie40
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 6:29pm

Sorry I thought I had to respond individually. All I can say is WOW all of you are wonderful and awe inspiring! I feel so much better after reading everyones response. I really am so excited about this baby no matter what! I will keep everyone posted and again thank you so much for your input and support!


Hugs,


Darcie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: darcie40
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 10:29am
Reading your reply just reminded me of why I'm having such a hard time telling my older sister.
Pregnancy%20ticker

Pages