Should I continue to try?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
Should I continue to try?
7
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 12:07pm

Hello everyone,


I am new here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 12:37pm
Hello, Lori, and welcome. I'm sorry to hear of your recent losses. But if anything positive comes from them, it's that you know you can still easily get pregnant. All your questions and concerns are so very common. Yes, there are increased risks to babies of mothers 40 and over (technically, to mothers of 35 and older), but even with the increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities, the odds are still largely in our favor to carry and deliver a healthy baby. Only you (and your hubby) can decide whether this is something you want to pursue, however, if you are as consumed with having another baby as you say you are, it sounds to me like you should go for it. Although your doc said there's no reason to not try for another baby, he could probably give you more detailed information about any increased health risks to a baby of a mother of AMA ("advanced maternal age). To my knowledge, any increased risks are to the baby moreso than to the mom, but again, he could confirm or deny that. I hope you'll continue to stick around and get familiar with the women here. Many of us have pondered the exact question you're struggling with now. There's no right or wrong answer; it really boils down to what you and your husband want. Best wishes to you. I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of you around here soon. : )

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 2:24pm

Hi Lori,


I'm not sure if you have already read my story, so if not, here it is:

WeeMee Profile Image

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 2:35pm

Hi Lori.

First off, so sorry to learn of your recent losses. M/c is a sad and difficult experience that not everyone can relate to unless they've walked in your shoes.

Unfortunately, I understand your heartache and your fear.

Only you and your husband can make this decision for yourselves, but it is wonderful that you have so much extended family support.

I agree with Joan, and think that it is wonderfully promising that you have been able to get pregnant so readily past age 40; that in itself is a good sign.

Also, as Joan mentioned, there are increased risks for fetal chromosomal abnormalities, but as she mentioned, the odds really are in your favor for having a "normal" baby.

On the other hand, there are risks involved for mother as well...that's why AMA is stamped on our folders; not just b/c of issues for baby. With advanced maternal age comes increased risk of gestational diabetes, pregnancy-induced hypertension, and intrauterine growth restriction, just to name a few. BUT, that doesn't mean you will experience ANY of these things...just that age is a contributing factor to the causes. Afterall, I had gestational diabetes at age 34...not even technically AMA! LOL

Many, many women go on to deliver healthy babies with little or NO complications and that may be the case for you. Even with the gestational diabetes, I was able to control my blood sugars with diet and exercise and delviered a 6lb 12 oz baby the first time (smaller than average) and an 8lb 7oz baby boy the 2nd time...not uncommon size for this day and age! Except for that (I was just shy of 35 with #1 and 37 with #2) I had no other complications.

I miscarried a year ago (at age 39) in December of 2008 and exactly one year later got pregnant again in November of 2009 at the age of 40. So far so good...no GD, but my doc said I could count on it coming.

No pathology was performed on my miscarriage last year; the assumption was just made that it was a trisomy defect due to my age. My 4 prior miscarriages were in my late 20s/early 30s and we finally conceived our first born via in vitro. Ironically, we've now conceived 2 "healthy" babies since IVF in my late 30s and now early 40s...go figure!!!

I would say, think about this, if you're religious pray about it, discuss it with your OB in greater length and then make a decision. Sometimes, as in the IVF world that I've been a part of, women come up with an endpoint...either when they are out of time, insurance coverage, money, emotional strength, etc. Perhaps you and your spouse can come up with an endpoint that works for you (for example...no medical intervention...we'll take our chances one more time and if a 3rd miscarriage ensues we call it quits...kind of thing...hope that makes sense.)

Take care, we are hear when you need us,

Valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 2:43pm

I luv you Melissa and I don't even know you, but I must say that I always feel a kinship to fellow IVFers!!! I am so sorry to read that you went thru the pain of multiple failed cycles, but so excited to learn that this miracle baby on the way was a natural conception.

I had 4 miscarriages prior to the birth of our daughter conceived via IVF/ICSI 5 years ago. Benjamin, our 3-year old, was a total "bonus" baby. We were just so grateful to have one blessing that we planned on being a family of 3...just us and our IVF miracle.

Little did I know what God had in store for me...a 2nd baby conceived naturally 18 months after Mary Catherine and now Baby #3 due in August.

Life is constantly handing us surprises and sure is sweeter that way!!!

Best wishes with your upcoming delivery!!!

Val

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 3:32pm

Val,


You have such a great story to share as well!

WeeMee Profile Image

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 10:53am

Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts and kind wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 12:41pm

While it sounds like your situation is close to mine, you have to do what works for you and your family.


I had a chemical pregnancy (6 wks), and then a missed miscarriage (before 10 wks) within the last 18 months. But then... we got pregnant and we're 7 weeks along now.


So I'll tell you what my RE said. Chemical pregnancies happen, at any age. Then m/c's increase with age. She said, it's an individual egg with an individual sperm game, and if either or both have a flaw, then you miscarry.


So nope, not too old, just going to have to realize the odds are a bit worse.

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,


but you can call me