Pregnant - surprise

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Pregnant - surprise
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 8:45pm

I turned 40 this past January, and I just found out we are 6 weeks pregnant.

I have spent a lot of time on this boards about two years ago when we were trying to get pregnant with our third. Previous pregnancies were cesarean, and the second one almost took my life after I hemorrhaged. It took a lot of convincing for my husband to consider a third after that (and our second child had cancer - so fear in general held us back)... and so we got past that and tried for two years, we were able to concieve about 4 times, with all resulting in miscarriage - most very early, and the last one at about 10 weeks. IT was too much emotion, and I figured that it wasn't meant to be.

So that was two years ago, we accepted it - mostly, I mean that's part of getting older isn't it? Embracing the benefits of ...etc
But then I was having symptoms - and nasea and holy crap I'm pregnant...

I am shock denial - I really don't want to have another miscarriage because i hate them. Natural MC is so upsetting, but D & C is so clinical. And then what if it sticks??? What about childbirth, how would I do? Gosh I would love another baby we would easily fit her/him in with the love we have, but getting there - to an actual baby seems so unlikely.

Thanks fo rlistening, I guess I am just needing to talk to 'someone' because this is not news we can share at this point obviously. It can be so lonely during these days

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 6:30pm
Welcome (back) and congratulations on your news. I became pregnant kind of by surprise (though I wasn't doing much to prevent it) and

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 12:55am

Hello. Welcome and congratulations! My heart goes out to you for dealing with your losses as well as facing such as frightening sickness in a child. Most of us here have fears about our pregnancy and the health and well-being of our baby so I can only imagine that your fears are all that more intense. My greatest words of wisdom to anxious, scared, yet excited women during these early days of pregnancy is try to think positively and just take one day at a time. I, too, was overwhelmed after discovering I was pregnant and this is what worked best for me. 40 weeks gives us quite some time to adjust to the idea of another child as well as prepare for him/her as best we can. Maybe put a call into your OB so you can find out if there are any measures (i.e., supplements) you can take during these early weeks of pregnancy to help increase the odds of the baby sticking. I'm sending you lots of sticky baby vibes and I hope to hear lots of updates from you as your pregnancy progresses.

I'm Joan, am 42, and am pregnant with #3. We have two girls, a five year old and a two year old; this baby is a boy and is due in May. He was somewhat of a surprise so although I'm now excited about his arrival, I was quite overwhelmed and anxious about it until just recently. Like I said earlier, the length of pregnancy certainly helped me in that regard. I think you'll find the ladies here to be a huge support system for you. Feel free to ask away, update us on how you're feeling and/or doc appointments, or just post random thoughts. Be well and try to think positively. Best wishes to you. : )



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2010
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 5:44pm

Congratulations on this pregnancy and thank you for sharing your story!

Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy,



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 10:07am

I had two m/c in a row, and the last was a d&c so I know what you mean.

Your chances of a nice and healthy baby are high. I'm 43, so far, so good, no problems at all.

My baby at age 40 was a completely normal pregnancy. Hang in there.

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,

but you can call me


Laugh a little -


Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,

but you can call me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 9:12am
Not only have you had those miscarriages, but your child had cancer too??........... what a lot of very very hard times you have been through. It's hard to imagine such difficulties. But you explained your feelings very clearly and I sympathize with you. I very much hope that your current pregnancy goes on smoothly and that you have happier times ahead.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 8:02pm

Hi there!

Warmest congratulations to you and your family! I'm so glad that you were able to find us and "share" the news. I've walked a similar road.

I turned 40 in August and after a year of trying after a miscarriage in December of 08, I decided that it wasn't meant to be and packed up the baby clothes for donation. About a month later (in December '09) as I was still waiting for a phone call regarding my baby items pick up, I realized that my period was really late!

Lo and behold, I was 6-weeks pregnant!

Due to our previous loss history and in vitro success in 2004, I just sort of felt like I had run the sympathy course with folks and so we chose not to share until I hit the 12-week mark. (Well, except for my mom and rocks!)

I'll be just shy of 41 when I deliver Baby #3.

Wishing you all the best!!!