Introducing myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Introducing myself
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 9:46pm

Hello Ladies!

I thought I would introduce myself and join this board. I don't seem to really fit in too well with the other boards that I frequent because I am so much older than the rest of them. Although everyone is nice on the boards but I think I may feel more in tune with women who are closer to my age.

A little background on me - I just turned 43 this past Monday. I was pregnant 2 years ago and about a week before my 41st birthday I had a m/c at 11 weeks. That was my first time being pregnant ever. I was told it was a blighted ovum. So then fast forward to 2 months after that (I had a D&C after the m/c) and I found out we were pregnant again. We were so excited! We found out at the 12 week NT scan that we were having a boy. Like so many of us at this age, they told me that I had a 1 in 20 chance of DS with the baby. Well, for the next month I felt a bit freaked out worrying about it. Not that I wouldn't have the baby but you can't help but worry. So then at 16 weeks I went to have the amnio done. Well, that is when everything went crazy. During the u/s prior to the amnio procedure, it was discovered that our baby boy had a blocked bladder. So at week 16 that was just the beginning of the craziness that I went through during my pregnancy. I had to have the amnio done to see if the baby did in fact have DS (he did not!). Then the following week I had to have not one but two bladder taps (one on a Mon. and one the next day on a Tues.). This is basically the same as having an amnio only the needle goes in further to get to the baby's bladder & draw out his urine for testing of his kidneys. He passed those tests so then it was on to a specialist who eventually performed the surgery where they insert a shunt into his bladder. What happens with the bladder being blocked is that the amnio fluid around the baby becomes decreased more and more. I had the surgery done when I was about 19 weeks along. Then about 3 weeks after that my HR dr. who was following up noticed that things weren't right as the amnio fluid was getting lower. So another round of dr. visits here and there and then before week 26, my HR dr. put me in the hospital on bedrest. He felt that now that there was basically no fluid around the baby that I would go into labor at any time. So I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas 2008 & New Years 08/09 in the hospital. And then at just under 35 weeks (9 weeks of being in the hospital), the dr. decided they would deliver our baby boy. So on Jan. 8th, 2009, Dalton Nicholas was born. He weighed 4 pounds & 10 ounces and he was so beautiful. He was breech so they had to do a c-section. He went straight to the NICU and there he stayed for the next week. On Jan. 15th, 2009, I got to hold him for the very first & last time. He looked so perfect on the outside but was so sick on the inside. It turned out that his left kidney was no longer there and his right kidney wouldn't function & in addition, his lungs never did develop properly due to the lack of fluid. We were so heartbroken but I felt like I did everything I could. I don't think I would have done anything differently.

Then fast forward from losing Dalton to 9 months later and surprise, we are pregnant again! Talk about being a nervous wreck! On Feb. 11th, I had an amnio done (changed OB's & new HR dr. that I really liked!). Turns out the u/s showed us a perfect baby & it is a girl (so no blocked bladder issues as that only happens with boys). DH did want a son again but he is happy with our healthy baby girl. So now I am 22 weeks along and so looking forward to July when I can bring this baby home with us!

Sorry this turned into a novel but I just wanted to share what I had been through and say that there is hope even for someone who is over 40!

I will pray for each of you on this board as I know how hard it is being our age and being pregnant too. We don't have the get up & go of a 20 year old anymore but we hang in there and make do because we so want to be a Mom!

Thank you for allowing me to share a bit of myself with you!

Take care,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 10:37pm

Hello, Michelle. Welcome and congratulations! We're happy to have you here, for sure! Thanks so much for all the background -- you and your husband have been through so much. My sincere condolences and great big hugs to you for the losses you suffered through. They're never easy to accept, but losing a child after delivering him is just so incredibly heart breaking. I just love the name Dalton. : ) I'm so thrilled that you're with us again and got great reports on your baby girl's health. July really isn't that far away... You're more than half-way there already, mama!

I'm Joan, am 42, and am pregnant with #3 who's a boy. I'm 30+ weeks prego and am due May 16 although I'm fairly confident my OB will induce me around 38 weeks due to my being a Type 1 diabetic -- truth be told, I'm ready to have this boy now so I have NOOOOO issue with being induced early; in fact, I welcome the idea so long as baby boy's health is ready for an early arrival! I had an amnio done at 16 weeks gestation and was thrilled to learn baby boy got a clean report. (He's still nameless...). We have two girls, a five year old and a two year old. I agree that we may not have the stamina of a 20-something, but I must admit, I certainly don't feel old and I think my young children keep me feeling and looking younger than many of my peers do. ; ) Anyway, thanks again for sharing your story with us. I look forward to getting to know you better and to sharing this journey with you. I hope you'll post frequently with random thoughts, curiosities, appointment update, questions, concerns, etc.. Best wishes to you and be well.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sat, 03-20-2010 - 1:17am


Welcome and congratulations. You've been through quite an ordeal. First of all, if they told you your risk of having a baby with Down Syndrome was 1 in 20 just based on being age 41, they exaggerated. It's more like 1 in 85 or 1 in 65 if you would have been 42 by your due date (although I don't get calculating it that way- the baby either has Down or doesn't at conception- it doesn't develop during pregnancy). I'm 42 but will be 43 by my due date so my initial age-based risk was about 1 in 50 but my Ultrascreen numbers cut that dramatically to 1 in 447. I'm good with those odds, and I just had my 18+ wk US and he looks like a healthy boy. Even if it ended up he has the condition, I'd adjust. I had decided very early in pregnancy I probably would not have amnio because of an additional medical issue I have that would present another risk to the baby through the procedure.

It sounds like your little boy had a lot of issues going on that complicated matters, but I am so glad to have read at the end of your intro that you're now expecting a healthy baby. Please stay with us for the rest of your journey!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2010
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:45am

Hi Michelle, Welcome to the board, and congratulations on expecting a baby girl! I'm so sorry to hear of Dalton's passing. Hugs to you!

Glad to hear you're anticipating a healthy pregnancy and starting all the fun preparations to welcome your LO in a few months. Thank you for sharing your story, and I look forward to your updates.

About me: I'm due in early August


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 12:46pm

Hi Michelle!

First time mother at 43 to Colt - born Oct. 24 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 4:57pm

Hi Michelle,
Congrats on your baby! So sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son!

I'm Carol, I'm 46 and expecting my 7th. My kids range in age from 13 to 1. I'm due 8/5/10.

We found out today that this baby is a boy and things are looking good. Hoping everything goes well for the remainder of your pg!

Carol, mom to 6PhotobucketPhotobucket

Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 12:13am
Hi Michelle- I didn't know you were in the 40+ group too! It's nice to see you here. I turned 40 in December. Other than being tired, which I think I would be anyway chasing around Katie, I think my old body is doing just fine with pregnancy. I am glad to see that you are doing well. I see that you are past the 1/2 point now- congratulations! I just stop by this group occasionally- I am so busy with work, Katie, etc that I don't make it online very often anymore. I read the Feb playgroup and May '10 EC, too, when I can but only post occasionally. I hope all is well with you!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 8:19pm

Hello Michelle!

Congratulations on this healthy pregnancy and on learning that you are having a baby girl! How very exciting.

I was saddened to read your story, but it was so kind of you to share. Did your son have Potter's Syndrome? My girlfriend lost her baby (May of ' coming up on 1-year anniversary) at 22-weeks due to Potter's Syndrome. Your stories sound eerily similar...especially the lack of amnio fluid, missing kidneys, and undeveloped lungs. :(

Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for a continued, successful pregnancy.

BTW...I'm Valerie, currenlty 40 and expecting Baby #3. We've had 5 losses, 1 in vitro success (now age 5) and 1 bonus medical intervention necessary. This is Bonus Baby #2 for us.

And, my sister laughs (she's a nurse) b/c she swears I'm the only OL (old lady) she knows that has successfully conceived more often AFTER age 35 than before! LOL

Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2010
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 8:58pm

Hello Michelle,

Thank you so much for sharing. I so admire your ability to handle all that you have.