Pregnant after 12 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Pregnant after 12 years
8
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 11:49am
Well, I'm going to be a mom... again... at 40.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 12:25pm

Hello, and welcome. Congratulations on baby #4! If you have a chance, peruse through some of the introductions from other women here -- I think you'll be surprised to learn how many of us wound up pregnant at this time in our lives. And, a large percentage of our DH's/SO's/partners didn't take the news very well at first. Your situation is very familiar to many of us. I'll tell you what I told myself and many other women in your/our shoes: We have 9 months to digest the idea of having another baby. I think this length of time is helpful for many of us -- including (and maybe especially!) the dads-to-be) to accept and even get excited about the baby-to-be. I hope this is the case for you and your SO (significant other).

You're one of the lucky ones, for sure, who's feeling pretty well during the early stages of pregnancy. Enjoy it! I, for one, don't exactly enjoy the pregnancy part. Doesn't matter if it's the early stage, T2, or T3, I'm basically miserable throughout my entire pregnancy, LOL. My poor DH, that's all I can say... : ) BTW, I'm Joan, am 42, and am pregnant with #3. We have two young girls, Lilah, our five year old and Eva, our two year old. This baby is a boy (who's still nameless) and is due to arrive sometime in mid-May (although I'm at the point where I'm ready for him to come any time now!).

Thanks for introducing yourself. I hope you continue to feel well and I hope you'll keep us posted on your progress and appointments, etc. Best wishes to you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 12:51pm

Congratulations! It sounds like you are taking it all in stride...what else can you do? LOL

Hopefully, with a little time and the counselor's help, your boyfriend can come to a place that doesn't cause him as much stress and anxiety. I can only imagine, especially for men, the stress that being both unemployed and finding out you are going to be a new father can place on one's psyche! Give him a little time.

In the meantime, take care of yourself and lean on us for support.

BTW...my name is Valerie and I am currently pregnant with #3. I have an in vitro blessing (age 5) and a bonus baby (age 3). This is our 2nd bonus (no medical intervention necessary!) and my husband was a bit overwhelmed too! (He's soon to be 43.) I'll be 41 at delivery and like to joke that I will be the world's oldest kindergarten room mother at 47....I know, not even close, but still it's funny how life works out. Like you said, it all happens for a reason. I like to think about all the wonderful help you will have with your 3 older ones!

Take care,
Valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 1:33pm

How rude of me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 1:46pm

It's funny you say that...this weekend, at my nephew's First Holy Communion someone commented that since I was having a 2nd boy, I needed to try for a fourth and so that my daughter can have a sister.

I laughed and said, "Oh no! We're done after this! I'm gonna be 41 when this baby is born." The aunt (my sister-in-law's side) was shocked...she had no idea I was that "old"! LOL

I too just take it all in stride!

Nice to meet you, Andrea!

val

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 2:00pm

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm sorry to hear your SO isn't taking it well, but he'll probably come around just as you'll probably come to see this as a blessing. I also "found" myself pregnant. I don't have other kids and thought I never would at one time in my life. But now that it's happened at age 42, I'm ready and very excited to become a mother. My former SO, unfortunately, was already MIA when I found out I was pregnant and so far has avoided any involvement. What's more, it's not definitely his-- there's one other person it could be who I was with after he took off. So I'll have the whole paternity testing issue to deal with down the road. But that hasn't been my focus at all during pregnancy. I'm just doing the best I can to take care of myself and try to deliver a healthy baby. So far, all signs indicate that I will.

Welcome aboard and keep us posted on how things go.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 2:37am

Hi Andrea. Welcome to the board! There is a good bunch of women here. I think you will find it a nice place to visit no matter how you are feeling -- nervous, thrilled, sick, or all of the above. Take care of yourself.


Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 8:09am
Congratulations on your pg! I am sure in time that your boyfriend will come around. I think it is harder for the dads--they feel the pressure to take care of us and the baby. Anyway, I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months! I am Carol, I'm 46 and I am expecting baby #7. I have had 3 of my other children in my 40's and the other 3 in my 30's. So I was Never a young mom. Welcome!

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Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 8:18am

Andrea,

I know what you mean about that. The reaction doesn't come so much when I tell people who don't know my age that I'm pregnant (although it's so obvious now I barely have to tell anymore), but that I'm 42 (43 by my due date). It doesn't really bother me, though, I take it as a compliment. I've also had some fears that people who don't know me may think I'm the baby's grandmother, but it seems the pregnancy glow may be giving me a more youthful appearance-- I can only hope that will stay around for a while after giving birth. Anyway, the bottom line is that what matters most to me is how I feel about and interact with my baby, and everything else is secondary or even lower priority.

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