worried about downs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
worried about downs
5
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 11:29am

Hi everyone, well how to start with goin off on one...lol


I am now 42 (in march) i lost my first child nov'08 11 weeks in, this was all due to stress and not bein with partner long and him not wanting a child.


I am now 12 weeks and just had my 1st scan, notes from the scan man wer good but the blood takern to see wot my risk of downs is wot be back till monday if not good, evern though all the bloods from doctor was good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 12:52pm

Welcome to the board and congrats on your pregnancy. Deciding whether this is something you're ready and willing to face at this point in your life is a very individual choice. We're all concerned about this issue, as the risks are higher for us at this age, but they certainly are not a given. At 42, based on your age alone, your risk of having a baby with DS is about 1 in 60, or a less than 2 percent chance. It's higher than the risk for childbearing women overall, but we still have a much greater chance of having a baby without Down Syndrome than not. However, there are no guarantees for any of us in this business of having babies.

In the next section below another group member posted an article from CNN on the risks of having a baby after age 40. That will give you an outline of some of the risks, although I wouldn't pay too much attention to some of the negative comments that follow. Opinions are like ***holes-- everyone has one. Just gather your facts and decide what to do from there based on what seems right for your life. And, although this is easier said than done, try not to freak out too much.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 5:30pm

I'm finding pregnancy (my third) at this age (it was a surprise) is full of ups and downs and general worry, but I wouldn't invest too much of your energy on this particular one...
As mentioned the odds are still in your favor for a baby without downs. Take things as they come.
Having a child is always a risk to your heart, whether they are born with a challenge (my second was born with cancer - so all the worrying I did about downs was almost hilarious to me afterwards... ).
Your child could be healthy but then have challenges later in teen years - parenthood is a leap of faith IMO. Simply having a child is about taking things as they come, it's about doing your best and letting go of what you can't control. These are the emotions that get me through anyway.

I also remember two friends we had back in our twenties . They were 21 years old, and had an unplanned pregnancy that resulted in a downs child. That obviously wasn't something they were expecting with the odds. There's no sure-thing either way.

Hugs to you :)




Edited 4/24/2010 5:32 pm ET by momtoflowers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 7:47pm
Hello, Deb, and welcome. Most women I know of worry about DS and other things that can go wrong regardless of how old they are, but it's probably fair to assume that those of us over 40 worry a bit more about these things. Try to be positive -- so far, you have good news; the NT scan looks good and, like the other women have said, even though the odds are greater for a chromosomal disorder in women our age, they're generally still 99% or greater that the baby will not suffer from any type of disorder. Let us know what your blood results are when you receive them if you're so inclined to do so. Take care and best wishes to you.
Photobucket

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 10:34am

Deb,

I forgot to mention that I am a single expectant mom. The timing for me with this baby felt right, even if it wasn't for the dad. He has not been involved so far and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon. Actually, I believe that for me, having my former SO involved would have made for a more stressful pregnancy. We all face slightly different situations. If the time feels right for you now, please don't let negative comments of others influence your own feelings about your pregnancy too much. Best of luck.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Sat, 05-01-2010 - 11:21pm

Hi Deb and Welcome!

Please know that we are all here for your support.

I agree with all the previous posters, but I will say that I think I am the only one on this particular thread that got the "bad news" phone call.

I have two other children that I delivered AMA (after age 35) and never had quirky blood work come back, so needless to say it was a shock that my NT Scan blood work came back flagged for Down Syndrome.

Of course this is only a risk assessment, but I think the others would be lying if they didn't agree that a 1:17 risk/odd is disheartening.

That being said, my actual NT scan of Baby Boy was terrific. Follow-up scans with our perinatologist were also great. A soft-tissue marker scan was performed at 21 weeks and we still saw no signs of DS. In fact, we've been release from the specialist b/c everything looked great.

I was informed, though, that close to 50% of DS babies do not show soft-tissue markers on U/S.

As of today, we have not had amnio done b/c the risk was too great for our particular situation (male factor infertility)...so we are just excited to be pregnant again.

I will not lie...I have good days and bad days. More good than bad, but I've had a rough week this past week and haven't been around much. Lots of crying and teary-eyed days. I just want delivery day to be a happy/joyous occasion. When I don't over think things, I know that even if my son has DS, life will go on, we will cope and overcome and be BLESSED as a family...but sometimes hormones and emotions get the best of me.

Wishing you lots of good luck, thoughts, and prayers,

Val