New here....40, pregnant and scared!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
New here....40, pregnant and scared!
11
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 3:59pm
I am freaking out just a little. I am 40, will be 41 in June and just found out that I am pregnant with my 5th child. My other children are 18 (leaving for college in the fall), 15,11 and 5. I have just recently become engaged to a younger man. We had already had the discussion about sharing a child together but agreed whether we did or did not decide to that we were content with our family as was. He has a 3 yr old daughter from previous marriage. I really am scared about the health issues. I have had 4 successful pregnancies in the past but can't help but hear/read what all is to be said negatively about having a child in your 40's. Please someone offer encouragement and statistics to back up something beyond what I am hearing so far. I am with the love of my life and want nothing more than to enjoy this with him instead of living in fear. Thank you in advance to all who respond!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 4:28pm

Welcome and congratulations. It is totally normal to be scared, but just try not to react quickly and make any rash decisions based on fear or the negative things other people say. Gather your info and go from there.

If you look about four posts down, I would say the same thing to you I said to the other new member. The risks are higher for us at 40 and beyond, but once we make it past early pregnancy (a tenuous time for any pregnant woman), the odds of having a healthy baby are still greatly in our favor. At 40 the odds of having a baby with Down Syndrome (just based on age) are 1 and 100, or in other words, a 99 percent chance the baby will NOT have a chromosomal abnormality. Slow down and just gather the information you'll need but not necessarily the negativity of people who disapprove. You're the only one who can decide what's right for you at this point in your life, and whether you're willing to face all the uncertainty that comes with pregnancy. And, as our cl often says, try to take things one day at a time. You're a pro at this-- you'll probably soon find many of the issues you face are the same as before.

Best of luck and stick around to let us know how things go.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 7:28pm

Hi cherichelle. First, Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm new to this pregnancy over 40 thing (and pregnancy altogether), but I'm hanging onto the encouragement of others here who remind that that odds are still in our favor to have healthy babies. The literature on the subject should give the stats from the positive side, IMHO. Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 1:48am
I agree wiith Karen that only you can decide.
Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 5:15am
Hello and welcome. The early weeks of pregnancy are very scary for anyone, especially for those of us 40 and older. What you're feeling is perfectly natural and normal. Karen gave you the odds of your baby having DS, but you can probably google other odds if you really want to know what they are. I say that only because unless you actually calculate the odds quoted (i.e., for odds 1 in 68, actually divide 1 by 68 to determine the exact percentage/risk), they often look worse than they are. And, be careful about reading too much on the internet because it will most likely overwhelm you with fear, etc.. It sounds like you want to be happy about this, and so does your SO, so try to just relax and enjoy it! : ) Maybe put a call into your doc to see about scheduling a visit with him/her and in the meantime, take one day at a time as Karen already suggested. Your doc will go over options available to you for screenings and/or diagnostic testing for various chromosomal disorders. Maybe check out some of the threads here on our board where these screenings and tests are discussed in detail. I wish you the best and I hope you'll keep us posted on how you're doing.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 6:16am

Another website you can look at, which will certainly help boost your feelings of optimism, is this one:


www.mothersover40.com


You'll love it! Take care,


Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 2:04pm
Thank you all so much for your encouragement. I made my first appt today, it is scheduled for the 19th of this month. I am very anxious to hear what the Dr has to say. Meanwhile, I will take the advice given and take it one day at a time. Today, my back is hurting and I am sooooo tired....ugh! I will be sure to keep you posted as this seems like a forum that will be and is beneficial to all. Hopefully someday I can repay the favor : )
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 9:03pm
Hi and congratulations on your pg. The odds of you having a perfectly healthy baby are very good. I have had my last 3 at 40, 42 and 45 and am pg again at 46. (This is my 7th time around, my kids are 13, 10, 8, 6, 4 and 16 months.) All my kids turned out fine and this current one looks good too. Best to you for a happy and healthy pg!

Carol, mom to 6PhotobucketPhotobucket

Carol, mom to 7

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:42am

Wow, Carol.

Marie.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 1:22pm
Thank you both so much and yes, very encouraging. I have had 4 prior pregnancies resulting in healthy children. I think I am just still so overwhelmed with the fact that I am pregnant again. I am newly engaged and we really wanted to wait a bit if and when we even decided to add to the family. With hormones raging, one moment I find myself excited thinking about a new life in our home, the next I am crying my eyes out wondering what in the world I am going to do. There seems to not be enough of me to go around now, and I have no clue how I will handle one more responsibility. UGH....then of course I am as tired as I've ever been. I work full time (I have to) which I have never done before during pregnancy or after bringing a baby home. It's all such a different concept than before. Thank you ladies again though for taking the time to share your stories.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 11:53am

This is my second normal child to be conceived over 40. No big deal.


I'm diabetic, just like I was when I was 30. Nobody has two heads, or two tails, and my pregnancy has gone just like when I was 30.


Seriously, beyond needing to increase my insulin and take naps, it's all the same.


Take it easy on yourself. More and more women are having babies for the first time too, over 40. So you have more experience.


That will help too.

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,


but you can call me


KelliSue


Laugh a little - www.kellikolz.blogspot.com

pregnancy

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,


but you can call me


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