New & considering having a baby after 40

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
New & considering having a baby after 40
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 12:15pm

Hi Everyone!

I'm so glad I found this board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 2:46pm

I have one daughter who is almost seven. I thought that time is on my side and if and when my DH and I decide to have another then it would happen. You read about all of the Hollywood stars having kids in their 40s all the time. It is almost

baby development
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 10:10pm

Lots of women do it, the question is whether you want to, and if so, if you will be able to. I'm having my first living child at 42 any day now and age doesn't concern me at all. We worked very hard to get here and suffered devastating losses, and are so thrilled and happy to be welcoming our baby soon. I have lots of friends who have had first babies in their late 30's and early 40's, it's very common where I live with college educated professional women. Though a number of us have needed fertility treatments to get that way.

As the pp mentioned, you might consider moving up your timeline to decide to try if this is something you might want to do. On average fertility is low in your 40's. However some women in their 40's will still get pg in a month or two, others will need IUI or IVF, and others will try and try for years and not get pg at all even with many fertility treatments, or have many m/c's. There is no sure way of knowing for sure what your fertility will be, but you might get your FSH tested. If it is elevated, you'll know your time is running very short and you'd better get on it right away if you want to have a chance. However a low number doesn't mean you'll have an easy time at all, or that it's safe to wait. My fsh has always been like a 20 year old's, I produce as many eggs as a woman in her 20's, and yet we tried for over 3 years with 16 fertility treatments and 7 losses to get where we are now (we had MFI as well).

On the other hand, if you are open to IVF with donor egg to give your husband a child, you needn't feel such a rush. The biggest issue biologically with age is egg quality and quantity. Your uterus will most likely still work just fine.

Good luck and happiness to you and your hubby whatever you decide.

- Jenna, 42, DH 39 TTC since September '06 with MFI. 3 failed unmedicated IUI's with DH sperm, 1 failed IUI with injects with DH sperm, IVF #1 BFN, FET BFP but M/c week 5, IVF#2 BFP m/c week 7, IUI with injects and donor sperm: probable chemical pg. 1 failed unmedicated DS/IUI. Started BCP's 7/30 for IVF #3, ER 9/10, ET 9/15, Beta 9/24 results 9/25. BFP, Twins. Lost 1st twin at 9-10 weeks, lost second twin at 16 weeks 12/17/08. Attempted IUI #4 converted to DS/DH IUI April 09 at my request, BFP and M/c. IVF #4 June 09 BFN. DS-IUI w/injects 7/6/09, BFN. Hysteroscopic myomectomy to remove fibroid 7/29/09.Unmedicated DS-IUI 9/09, BFN. DS-IUI with injects, 10/09, BFP and M/C. DH/DS-IUI with injects and HGH, 12/6. BFP! Betas: 12dpo 12/18 58, 14 dpo 12/20 157, 16dpo 12/22 379, 22 dpo 12/28 4,002

- Jenna
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 11:26pm

Thanks to both of you for your replies. I fully intend to get my doctor involved in this decision and make sure that I am healthy and able to conceive a child.

I guess I didn't think about the odds, so thanks for opening my eyes to that. The reason I wanted to wait two or three years is because my husband and I are newly married and I want to feel settled into our new lives before we introduce a new baby, and also, there is some travelling I want to do before I get pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 1:24pm

Your daughter sounds lovely, many teenagers aren't too enthusiastic about the possibility of a new sibling!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 8:31am

This is my 2nd birth over 40. I had two miscarriages in between, which is about par for the course at 43, almost 44.

It's great. It's so cute to see my children 13 and under, enjoy the siblings and my husband is a serious mush heart over our children.

Andy, Gerard, Sarah, Merina and Emma call me Mama,

but you can call me