Sad news after appt

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Sad news after appt
11
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:21pm

well there was no hb detected at my appt with RE. I am so sad! I can't stop crying.


We were going to tell family at christmas. This was my worst nightmare ever. I was fearing that this would happen. I was nervous about going for the ultrasound. doc said fetus looked like it was 7 weeks, when I'm actually 9 1/2 weeks.


I'm 44 and thinking that this is a hopeless case for me. So many things are racing in my head. Maybe there was a hb but it was just hiding? Should I jump to get a d & c OR just wait it out? I feel awful that I can't provide my dh with a child. He is 37 and deserves to experience that joy...


this is the last thing I wanted to go thru.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2007
In reply to: gas42
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:42pm
I'm so sorry.

Patti
hubby and I met later in life and are 40
Baby Callie born 06/14/08

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
In reply to: gas42
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 5:44pm
I'm so sorry you lost the baby. It is such a hard thing to go thru. I just lost my baby at 20 weeks and It is so much harder the more you get attached. I'm 42 and will be 43 next April, I really thought this was my last chance and most likely we will not try again, but it is so hard to go there right now. We need to give ourselves time to heal, then think about the future. As far as the D&C goes, I'd think if you don't miscarry soon, I wouldn't let it go too long. I hope you can m/c natural, but if not, I don't think The d&C is too bad. Take Care/So Sorry

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2007
In reply to: gas42
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 7:53am
The same thing happened to me over the summer.

p15296s1102107_33_0-1.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
In reply to: gas42
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 12:45pm

Thanks for you reply...I've been crying and can't seem to stop. I really wanted it to work this time. I'm 44 and time has just about runned out. I have an almost 20 yr old and 15 yr old but wanted to complete life with a child of our own. (my other kids are from another marriage) Its so painful to have to go thru. My dh has been so supportive and loving to me thru this. I think the worse thing is that we did see a heartbeat and a baby, plus its Xmas time....what a terrible time to go thru this.


I guess I need to look at the bright side. I've heard stories of women going thru so many worse things, like still birth or losing a child later in life...


I have to decide to have a d & c or just to let it pass. Or the pills to get it out faster. I've heard that its hard to conceive again IF you have a d & c? Its tough just carrying a dead fetus for these next few days.


How old are you and did you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: gas42
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 8:23am

First, I'm sorry for your loss. I have had a few losses myself and have done it both naturally and via d&c. May I ask where you heard that it's harder to conceive after a d&c? Because that's not true at all. Actually, I conceived my now 6 yr old dd 6 weeks after my d&c.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
In reply to: gas42
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 3:05pm

I don't remember where I heard that about the d & c...but it just stuck in my head. I have scheduled a d & c for next week after the holidays. I've never had a d & c before but can't walk around anymore with this dead fetus inside of me. I'm only bleeding very little &

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: gas42
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 4:38pm
May I ask how old you are? I had my 6 yr old when I was 40 and went on to have another child just 2 weeks before I turned 43. She is now 4 yrs old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: gas42
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 11:21pm

My OB and RE told me that women are extremely fertile after miscarriages and that many of their patients got pregnant after miscarrying. It didn't matter if it was natural or a D&C. So, if you decide to proceed and try again, I hope you don't think that a D&C will hinder this for you (in indeed you decide to go that route).

Also, please don't worry about not being able to give a baby to your husband. He has you, and that is probably the most important thing in the world to him. I haven't been able to have a baby and honestly, I know that my husband would rather have me in his life even if I can't have a baby, than just any woman who can give him a child.

Please take care of yourself. I am very sorry for your loss and hope you find love and comfort with your family and friends.

Lois

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2007
In reply to: gas42
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 8:24pm
I know exactly what you mean.

p15296s1102107_33_0-1.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
In reply to: gas42
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 1:38pm

I am 44 and have had 3 miscarriages since we've been trying to conceive. I am greatfull that I didn't lose the pregnancy later in weeks. I am not a strong person emotionally

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