Waiting on those milestones
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| Sat, 01-22-2005 - 11:07pm |
First I wait for the positive pg test, then the confirmation from the doc, then the results of the initial hcg's....I got past that round. Now I'm 5wk2d and waiting for my first ultrasound (scheduled for 7wk1d). The waiting is so hard! I keep checking the calender like a giant slow motion watch and I'm always surprised that it's still the same day! 7 weeks is also a big milestone for me because my last two m/c's were at 7wk's exactly, so making it past that will make me feel much better. Then there's the 10-12 wk doppler heartbeat milestone. Then I have to make past 13 weeks (the length of time for my 1st mc) and that will be my next milestone. After that, I get to come out of the nursery closet. Next is feeling the baby move, then the beginning of the third trimester. I just feel like I spend all of my energy waiting nervously for the next step and I have no time or patience to enjoy where I'm at. It makes me sort of sad.
I just feel like a rock climber, looking for each new toe or fingerhold without any idea if there will be another one beyond that.
Just wanted to vent a bit - thanks for listening.
Misty

Misty,
I know what you mean. I am feeling kind of the same way. I'm trying to take things one day at a time. I wish that I had the heir of ignorance that I did before. I had a chem pregnancy in June (unplanned) and a m/c just last month (TTC for 2 months). The second pregnancy I was worried. But with this pregnancy, I am fully aware of what can go wrong. I wish that I could just enjoy it and not even worry about m/c, but that's just not an option for me anymore. I'm not sure how far along I am, but I'm pretty close to you, somewhere around 5 weeks or a little over 5 weeks I think. GL to you. I hope to connect with you again. Try to relax as much as you possibly can. There's an excellent chance that our babies will be pefect and healthy!
Love,
Summer
Hi Misty,
I understand your worry. It is so normal to feel the way you do. I have read that for some women, setting themselves small goals is the only way they managed to stay sane during a PG after a m/c. Therefore, rather than worrying the whole time, maybe celebrate each milsteone - the BFP, your 1st scan etc.
I was also worried at around 7 weeks, when I lost both my babies, and then again at around 10 weeks, when their losses became evident. So for me, those were 2 big milestones to pass. In fact, at about 8-9 weeks I was paranoid and convinced that I had lost another one. The only thing that got me through was to celebrate each day without bleeding or cramping (even tho' my 2 losses had no symptoms of m/c at all until 10 weeks). I finally caved in and rented a doppler at 10 weeks and heard the h/b.
I can't add much - just to let you know that there are others who are waling the same journey as you. I hope you can take some comfort from the statistics - once you have passed the 1st trimester, your risks drop dramatically.
Good luck
Grace
Hi Misty,
Just another mom-to-be telling you that you are not alone. We don't have the innocence of a first time pregnancy, but maybe that's not all bad. DH and I often talk about our first who ended in a missed m/c. If it wasn't for that experience I wouldn't appreciate the "pains" of pg as much as I do now. Maybe it will make it all the sweeter when we hold our health babies for the first time, when we have to wake up in the middle of the night b/c they are sick with some cold. Previously I might have taken those moments for granted, now I know I'll be happy to have someone to look after.
I know this doesn't stop us from worrying now, and I'd never wish a loss even on my worst enemy, but with the bad there is a little good. I hope as your pg progresses you find comfort in your milestones. I wish you the best of luck and peace of mind. Sticky baby vibes all around!
Capri
EDD 9/9/05
edd was 9/9, Drina born 7/7