Why can't I just relax and enjoy this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Why can't I just relax and enjoy this?
7
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 1:19pm

I'll be 10w0d tomorrow and I thought I would begin to relax by now. I saw the hb again today but instead of feeling relieved, I just felt anxious.

I know its because I've had two m/c last year but when does the fear go away? This will be the last time I get pg and I wanted to enjoy it regardless of what happens. But I feel like I'm holding my breath and waiting for something to happen. I feel so overwhelmed and can't seem to stop crying today. Everyone keeps telling me to calm down and just relax but they really have no idea what it's like. They don't know what its like to dread every time you go to the bathroom, or to panic at every little twinge or cramp.

Is this normal? I swear this baby is gonna need prozac when it finally gets here :)

Stacy
edd 09/15/05
~03/04 and 08/04

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 3:53pm

I do understand how you feel! This is my last pregnancy and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. However, I too went to the bathroom with dread. Every cramp and twinge I was sure it was over. I had bleeding at 13 weeks and was extremely calm thinking it was over (turned out I had placenta previa which moved on its own). I noticed with me that my fear lessened with certain milestones. I had my m/c at 12 weeks, and a couple of weeks after the first trimester ended I felt a bit better. The other milestones that helped me relax a bit more were feeling movenment, passing the quad screen, 20 week u/s,etc. Once I realized the pregnancy was viable I worried about preterm labor and now I am thinking about birth (full term). I think it is very natural to worry the entire pregnancy.

I have tried to take time even for a few minutes to write down what I notice about this pregnancy. I've also tried to take time to remember what it feels like to have the little guy squirming inside because I don't want to forget. Just know that you are not alone, and I do think time will make you less anxious.

Alicia
edd 3/6

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 5:48pm

Stacy,


I had a miscarriage 9/00 and then had my DS who was born 12 weeks premature and spent his first 10 weeks of life in the NICU, then had another miscarriage 11/03.


                        


       

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 7:00pm

Thanks, guys, for your responses. I know its normal to feel like this but its reassuring to know you're not alone. I think everyone on this board has felt this way.

Rhonda, I was so excited to hear about your new son. I'm so glad everything went well for you.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 8:42pm

Stacy,

((((((((HUGS)))))))))
It is normal to worry and be anxious after what we've been through. Although we know the best thing we can do is relax and stay calm it is often the hardest thing imaginable! I swear, I'm up and down like a roller coaster with elation and worry. I've also asked myself at what point I would allow myself to "breathe". I just keep finding new milestones. I really thought that I would have the most part of my worry behind me once I past the point of my last loss. Well, I'm almost two weeks past that point and I'm already concerned about the next "bump" ahead.

The good things is we have this board and we have each other. Just remember you're not alone, what you're feeling is completely normal, and you have friends who are cheering for you and your little one.

Best wishes and SBV,
Capri
edd 9/9/05

Capri
edd was 9/9, Drina born 7/7
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 3:05pm
Stacy!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 3:18pm

I think my biggest obstacle is that with my 1st m/c, the baby died at 7w but we didn't find out until our u/s two weeks later. I hope that once I can feel this little bean moving, I'll be more calm. Then I'll have an actual physical sign that things are okay.

Then again, I'm very neurotic, so who knows :).

Stacy
10 weeks---Yahoo!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 3:27pm
LOL, I thought that too... then I wondered if the kicks were strong enough and frequent enough... it really never ends- sorry to say.