Need Reassurance

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Need Reassurance
29
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:12am

My hubby is the best thing ever on this earth! Last night I was laying in bed and having my freak out moment, because I just do not feel pregnant and the fact that my little peanut was measuring off by 6 days this last time and everything is just piling up on me. The fear of going through a fourth loss is too much to handle and the fear that not having a heart beat anymore. I have been trying to be so strong, but at the same time I am scared to death. I want to be a mommy to my peanut so much. I have been caring the ultra sound pictures around with me everywhere and just staring at my beautiful baby! I am so in love with this little one! I always thought that once I saw a heart beat I would calm down and feel that everything was going to be fine, but I have not calmed down! I mean you would think that a heart beat of 136 would reassure me! I am very lucky that I have such a wonderful doctor’s office, because next week I am going to call and try to get in for another ultra sound. It just scares me that my symptoms are not strong! I feel like it is torture to have no strong symptoms when everyone around me tells me that “I am lucky!” Well I do not consider this lucky.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:17am
I posted to you in 1T chat!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:50am

Jenn... (Hugs) I think of you and all the ladies on this board everyday. I pray everynight that we all have a great next day and that we get one step closer for our little bundle of joy. I'm 15 weeks and I see have my freak out moments where I'm thinking things are not going like they should, but I have to keep in mind that no matter what happends, it is completely out of my control.

There is a plan for each of us, even though it hurts and it will continue to hurt everyday. God wouldn't give us something if we couldn't handle it and he's with us everyday we go through that struggle.

Try to think positive and call your doctor whenever you need some reassurance. Remember we are all with you.

Crystal

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:04pm

Jenn -

Huge (((HUGS))). You are in the absolute worst time being a PAL. I have to tell you that I had very few symptoms with this pregnancy. I would feel nauseous from time to time if I did not eat. I would even test it to see if I felt hungry or sick (how crazy am I???) by not eating for a few hours. My BBs stopped hurting at 7 weeks and then never hurt again until 18W. And I was tired but not exhausted every day. But I never puked and I never had regular symptoms. I was very sick with my second angel so do not let those symptoms get you down. Everyone and every pregnancy is different.

I know it is so, so hard. Take it one day at a time. Call your OB and tell them how you are feeling. They may be able to tell you things or give you u/s for reassurance. I went every week until 15W w/ this pregnancy and it helped. If my appts were too far apart the anxiety would grow out of control.

Know that you have a wonderful DH and you will be OK. Remember this bean has a hb and it is growing. I have never figured out how to stop worrying but it will get better. I know the anxiety from multiple losses starts to really compound so you need to take care of yourself. You are doing great.

I hope you feel better soon.
Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:05pm
Oh Jenn hunnie.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:06pm
OH Hun you are not alone!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:22pm

(Hugs) Fellow Jenn,


I don't know what I can say to reassure you. I can't tell you I know that everything will be fine, because I don't. And frankly, I really hated it when my friends and family told me that this pregnancy.


However, I will say that you are strong and can get through whatever comes your way. Sounds like Chris is very much like my DH. I'm so glad you have him right there, as we can't give you a hug.


Seeing that heartbeat is a GREAT sign as I'm sure you know!!!! Cling to that heartbeat. I was like you - sure I would relax when I saw the heartbeat, and I did, for about a day. We're PALs, we've been through a lot.

beachsig.jpg picture by jennl24
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:46pm

Hi Jenn!!


I wanted to say you are no alone on being scared.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:53pm

Jenn,

Reading your post, just makes me cry. It is horrible that these feelings cannot go away and we can just be positive that all will be fine. I do pray for you every night that all will be ok and that you will be Mommy you have dreamed of being. I know it is very hard to stay positive, but you need to try and not put any more stress on you that you already feel. I have to say that you are an amazing and strong person to have gone through what you have and to keep trying to reach your final goal. Your strenght is what will make the success possible!! Keep positive and keep smiling!!

Belly Rubs,
Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:54pm

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way, Jenn, but I can totally sympathize. I felt exactly the same way early in this pregnancy. Whoever said that you're in the absolute worst time for a PAL is totally right. I didn't have consistent symptoms or feel pregnant until well after eight weeks, and I was a wreck. I agree with everyone that you should call your doctor and ask for an ultrasound. It will give you such peace of mind to see your little bean with his or her little heart thumping away!


I wouldn't worry at all about the measurements...everything I've read and everyone I've talked to says they're not at all reliable at that age. And 136 is great! My baby's hb didn't measure that until he was 7 weeks! So it sounds like you're doing great!


GL,


Danielle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:58pm

Jenn,


I know how you feel.

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