Trying to hide it

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Trying to hide it
11
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:05am
Maybe I am the only one here who thinks this, but after multiple mc, both my husband and I want to keep the pg a secret until we hear the heartbeat. We both feel like we'd be jinxing things. I am only 4 weeks and 1 day along so we have got some time. Now onto our problem...we are social drinkers. Not every night but more so on the weekends and during get togethers. This weekend is my 10 year high school reunion (still not sure why I am going, but my bf says I have to). How in the world am I going to keep this a secret? I had a graduating class of 86 people so we all know each other well. But mostly I am concerned about our small group of friends that we hang out with. They are bound to notice. My mother has figured it out b/c I quit drinking. First off, this makes me sound like an alcoholic - I'm not but a glass or two of wine is normal for me. Second off I know it sounds petty, but it goes back to jinxing the whole pg. I couldn't stand the thought that 86 people know I am pg right now. What if it doesn't stick then I have to have 86 people talking about me and a mc. I am in a smaller town (size about 30,000 so not tiny but...) I hate the rumor mill. My neighbor just had triplets and although we saw them off to the hospital on Sat. it was my mom who found out they had them on Mon morning b/c she was at city hall and everybody was talking about it. Not that a mc is that amazing, but I hate the thought of the whole town talking about me. God am I paranoid or what. If anyones has any advice though please help. Sorry for writing such a long explanation...I talk too much.
How to I hide the fact that I am not drinking???
Ellen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2005
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:11am

Oh Sweetie... First of all, CONGRATS on you're pregnancy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:12am

Ellen,


I understand your fears and they are very validated.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:40am
Well, I'm in a little bit of the same dilemma. My rescue is that I work in a job that requires me to be "on call". I'm going to be on imaginary call for the next 6 weeks!
Good luck. The diet excuse is good but then people will be watching your waistline way too closely (I live in a small town too).
:)
Dawn
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:50am
Easy....I got put on some antibiotics that would make you violently ill if you drank while on them. So tell people you have a little cold/infection, whatever, and you can not mix booze with the meds. It's that simple. Good luck!
Stephanie


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:56am
I agree with everyone. I had a similar situation, and everyone asked why I wasn't drinking. (DH doesn't drink, period, so I couldn't use the DD excuse.) But, I said I was on medicine and couldn't drink. No one said a thing after that. Most people don't really notice anyway. It was mainly people being polite and offering to get me drinks that brought it up. No one noticed whether I had a coke or a beer or a glass of wine.
gavin.gif mini pooper from tara picture by caulyne
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 12:00pm
I was in the same situation as you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 12:58pm

If the reunion has a bar where you go up and get drinks yourself, you and DH can take turns going up there when it is not crowded or people you don't know well aren't around and order tonic with lime or a virgin Bloody Mary or something for you - just ask the bartender to put it in the same type of glass as the other drinks (and not a soda glass). I did this at a wedding we went to with a bunch of friends and co-workers who ALL would have noticed if I wasn't drinking, and no one questioned it. If they have beer in dark or green bottles (and you drink beer), get one of those, pretend to take a few sips of it, then take it into the bathroom with you, dump it out and fill it with water. I did this at another function, and it worked pretty well. :-) Plus, once your friends have had a few, no one will notice anymore.

Or, if they know at all that you are thinking of getting pregnant (or trying), just use that as an excuse. Say you're just planning ahead and trying to do everything possible to help.

I don't blame you for not wanting hordes of people to know yet. I am 13 weeks and just now am telling co-workers, friends, etc., and it still makes me nervous.

If all else fails, you could always not go or have to leave early before the partying really starts, as a last resort.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! :-)
Kitty

Sister Siggy Fall 08
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 1:30pm

I was in this same situation last weekend - we went out of town with friends and weren't ready to tell why I wasn't drinking, which would def. be noticed. All the people we were with knew about our m/c and that we're trying, so we just told them that I wasn't since I "could be pregnant" but we didn't know yet. If that's too much information to give out, I totally agree with the on medication excuse.


Congrats! and have fun at the party!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 1:54pm
Your feelings of not wanting to share your news yet are very normal. To this point I've only told 2 friends who knew I was going through the IUI process... I've had to uhm, avoid the subject with several other people, but I feel like I'm protecting myself by doing so. I also have a party to attend this weekend. Luckily it's at my Mother's house (who doesn't know) and she's asked me to bartend. So I'll mix my own "drinks" and hopefully no one will be the wiser. I've also used the medical excuse. Most everyone knows that I get migraines. Two days before I tested I met some friends out for drinks and used my migraines as an excuse...I've been having a lot lately and alcohol is a trigger, blah, blah, blah...it worked. Good luck!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 4:48pm

I'd probably order 7-Up, and tell your friends etc that you're drinking 7&7 or 7 & Morgan. I understand not wanting to jinx it - we didn't want to tell people that soon either. Let us know how it goes.

Tasha

Twisig


 

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