OMG This so much harder than I expected
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|Sat, 01-31-2009 - 6:39pm|
Same as EC
Little Katie is now 5 days old. We got home from the hospital on Tuesday night. We did okay that 1st night. The home nurse came the next am and we discovered that she had lost weight- down to 5 lb, 11 oz from her birth weight of 6 lb, 9 oz. Her bili levels were rising too. We put her on a every three hour (start to start) feeding schedule: 30 minutes at breast, then bottle breast or formula supplement while I pumped. She started refusing to latch and I spent the 30 minutes practically begging her to wake up and eat. By the next day she had gained 3 oz but her bili was really high. And I was a wreck. My sinus headache from my sinus infection came back with a vengeance and I couldn't move my head without excruciating pain. I called my mom for support and her words of wisdom were, "So feed her then." I screamed at her and got off the phone.
I spent the rest of the day doing feeding, pumping and sleeping. I didn't feel like I could bond because my only time with the baby was begging her to eat and watching her reject my breast.
I called the medical advice number re: my headache and they told me to start taking benadryl again and told me to go to the after hours clinic the next morning. Shortly thereafter, DH and I got into a huge fight about the feedings. Did I mention that I cried about every half hour or so? I decided that I would quit trying to force her to latch and just pump until I felt better.
The physician's assistant today was not helpful. She didn't seem to care that my bp was 153/95 and I had to convince her that the sinus infection was real and not postpartum depression. (Stupid woman- just look in my chart.) She seemed confused as to why I would take benadryl for anything but a sleep aid. Duh! It's an antihistimine! She changed my antibiotic and recommended that I quit taking benadryl which she said would raise my bp and start taking vicodin and advil every so many hours and said she would write down her instructions. I got to the pharmacy and the instructions were not specific at all. So I stood and cried while I explained the situation to the pharmacist who filled the antibiotic prescription. The pharmacist said I could only BF every 4 hours on the vicodin. AHHH!
I had to go home because the visiting nurse was coming over and I desperately needed to pump. The trip to the clinic took over 2 hours! The nurse was wonderful as usual. She said that the benadryl was fine to take and since it works better than the vicodin and I can easily BF with it. She was upset that the PA didn't bother to call the on-call OB for advice. She said she would be back on Monday since the baby lost 1/2 oz (but her bili is much better). She'll take my BP then and send me to the OB if it's still up. In the meantime I am supposed to lie flat and rest and eat a lot. She was clear about that to DH who keeps trying to get me to go for a walk.
DSS is having problems adjusting. He was almost late for school Wed, Thur and Fri morning because he's playing around. He put soap on my toothbrush. Today he thought it would be funny to not unlock the front door when I came home. He also talked back to his dad and lost TV for the month of February. We have had several heart to heart talks with him. If it doesn't get getter we are going to a family therapist.
My BFF is avoiding me. She is still single and no kids and it's hard for her to see me have a family (we're both in our late 30s). I totally understand, since I've felt the same way in the past when my other friends got married and had babies.
My dad is ready to jump on the next plane out here and calls 4 or 5 times a day. I don't bother answering the phone b/c I am sleeping, changing a diaper or nursing or pumping and/or crying.
DH and I talked today and we are doing better. Still, I am really hoping to get over this sinus infection and for Katie to get stronger. All the docs and nurses have said that 37 week babies have a much harder time than 39 or 40 week babies. I keep telling myself that it will all be better in a few weeks.
Thanks for reading this and letting me vent. I haven't been able to read anything in the board this week. I hope you are all doing well.