OMG This is hard...update

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
OMG This is hard...update
Sun, 02-01-2009 - 11:15pm

Thanks so much to everyone for all of your support. You don't know how much it means that you are all so concerned and encouraging. DH also appreciates it.

Katie is starting to turn the corner. The nurse will be here tomorrow and we hope to see that she has gained weight. She is more alert when she is awake, is latching better and boy has her appetite kicked in! She finally showed a startle response today, which tells me she is less lethargic. I was close to sending DH out for a nipple shield, but she suddenly started nursing a few times a day. She does best in the morning.

My sinus infection is a tint bit better and I know things will be so much better when this headache and pressure is gone. DH has been very sweet and takes such good care of us.

I felt well enough to watch most if the superbowl with DSS today and he seems to be a little happier. I reminded him that a month from now the baby will be much more fun. He was interested in hearing from DH about what he was like as a baby. DSS goes back to his mom's tomorrow for a week, and he was happy that I asked him to stop and say hi to us on his way to her house from school each day (she lives 2 blocks from us).

I had really good conversations with both of my parents today. My mom felt bad abt not having been more supportive. She did much better on then phone today. My dad was also really supportive; he's not the emotional type so it really means something when he takes the time to talk about how I am feeling. One of you suggested that I let my dad fly on out if he would be helpful but not if he would sit on the couch reading the paper and putting on a diaper occasionally! I laughed, because my dad would sit on the couch and watch westerns and try to discuss genealogy while hiding whenever a diaper is changed!

On a sad note, I talked to my BFF last night. She is really distancing herself from me. She was going to come out here to help me after DH went back to work but she said she couldn't make it. She gave some really weak excuses as to why she couldn't. I know it's hard for her to see me having the marriage and baby that she wants so badly, but it hurts my feelings that she can't be there for me. She didn't return my phone calls when I was in labor and waited more than a day after I had the baby to call me. She hasn't asked a single question about her birth even though she knows I went into labor on Saturday morning and didn't have Katie until Sunday evening. It's really sad to feel like I am losing a friendship of more than 10 years because I have a baby.

I appreciate all of you commenting on PPD. I have a family history of severe depression (my mom) and I am a clinical psychologist, so I am very aware of how debilitating PPD can be. DH knows what signs to look for and I would not hesitate to get help if I thought I had it. The visiting nurse and I discussed it and she said that my current emotional state is what she would expect in my situation. Once I kick this sinus infection I will be so much better.

Again, thanks you all so much for your support. It's so nice to have people who can commiserate and offer good advice or just a chance to vent.

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Registered: 07-23-2004
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 12:31am
I'm so glad to hear things are improving some. And you're right, in a few weeks it'll be completely different!
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<9.27.08 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 8:00am

Nancy, I'm soo glad things are turning a corner for you. Newborns and the changes they bring are always hard. No matter how much you think you've prepared, they'll throw you for a loop. But you're a smart, capable woman and you can get through this. Try not to be soo hard on yourself and control the things you can. Take the time to enjoy the newness of it all and to see how this LO will impact your life. I found that if I tried to get DD to do what I wanted, it was nothing but frustration. However, if I followed her schedule and listened to my body, then things went smoothly.

I'm glad you're starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel and that those around you are supporting you. The first week is the hardest. It gets easier....till they start walking....then watch out!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 12:11pm

Nancy, I'm really glad that things are looking up and that you are generally feeling better. Yeah, a light at the end of the tunnel! Now you know that they will go only go up from here. :) Jocelyn gave such good advice and I really have nothing to add--just that I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe she just needs time and space and will come around again when she's ready.

Glad to hear you're doing better!
Holly :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2007
Mon, 02-02-2009 - 12:16pm

Hey Nancy!

I just read your post and I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard after-birth experience. It will get so much better soon and you will forget all about this. As for your BFF, I don't know what to say about that. I had a really hard time seeing my lil sis pg when I wanted another baby so badly and suffered 2 m/c's. But I sucked it up and supported her like I needed to. I don't think that there's any excuse for the way she is acting.

(((HUGS))) to you and tons of P&PT coming your way!