OMG This is hard...update
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|Sun, 02-01-2009 - 11:15pm|
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your support. You don't know how much it means that you are all so concerned and encouraging. DH also appreciates it.
Katie is starting to turn the corner. The nurse will be here tomorrow and we hope to see that she has gained weight. She is more alert when she is awake, is latching better and boy has her appetite kicked in! She finally showed a startle response today, which tells me she is less lethargic. I was close to sending DH out for a nipple shield, but she suddenly started nursing a few times a day. She does best in the morning.
My sinus infection is a tint bit better and I know things will be so much better when this headache and pressure is gone. DH has been very sweet and takes such good care of us.
I felt well enough to watch most if the superbowl with DSS today and he seems to be a little happier. I reminded him that a month from now the baby will be much more fun. He was interested in hearing from DH about what he was like as a baby. DSS goes back to his mom's tomorrow for a week, and he was happy that I asked him to stop and say hi to us on his way to her house from school each day (she lives 2 blocks from us).
I had really good conversations with both of my parents today. My mom felt bad abt not having been more supportive. She did much better on then phone today. My dad was also really supportive; he's not the emotional type so it really means something when he takes the time to talk about how I am feeling. One of you suggested that I let my dad fly on out if he would be helpful but not if he would sit on the couch reading the paper and putting on a diaper occasionally! I laughed, because my dad would sit on the couch and watch westerns and try to discuss genealogy while hiding whenever a diaper is changed!
On a sad note, I talked to my BFF last night. She is really distancing herself from me. She was going to come out here to help me after DH went back to work but she said she couldn't make it. She gave some really weak excuses as to why she couldn't. I know it's hard for her to see me having the marriage and baby that she wants so badly, but it hurts my feelings that she can't be there for me. She didn't return my phone calls when I was in labor and waited more than a day after I had the baby to call me. She hasn't asked a single question about her birth even though she knows I went into labor on Saturday morning and didn't have Katie until Sunday evening. It's really sad to feel like I am losing a friendship of more than 10 years because I have a baby.
I appreciate all of you commenting on PPD. I have a family history of severe depression (my mom) and I am a clinical psychologist, so I am very aware of how debilitating PPD can be. DH knows what signs to look for and I would not hesitate to get help if I thought I had it. The visiting nurse and I discussed it and she said that my current emotional state is what she would expect in my situation. Once I kick this sinus infection I will be so much better.
Again, thanks you all so much for your support. It's so nice to have people who can commiserate and offer good advice or just a chance to vent.
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