HI, I'm new here

Avatar for jujsky
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
HI, I'm new here
7
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 5:26pm
My husband and I are 28 and 29. We tried for a year to get pregnant, and couldn't. We were too young for the doctors to see us until we had been trying for a year, so we had to wait the full year. They couldn't find anything wrong with us, so we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility last May. I became pregnant through an IUI and lost our baby 6 weeks into the pregnancy -- July 7th. I bled the entire time I was pregnant, and the nurses kept telling me, "Oh, it happens to lots of women" and "We just have to wait and see." They kept doing blood work and the levels kept climbing, but when I went for my first ultrasound, it showed no baby.

We were heartbroken! I don't know how many of you went through infertility and then a miscarriage, but it is such a huge cosmic slap in the face! Not that I wish it on anyone, but I think it's even more difficult for people who have faced infertility. Even teh very unsympathetic doctor who happened to be on call at the time told me that I can try again right away if I wanted. I felt like screaming at her that I couldn't just, "Try again." That after a year and a half, all our hopes were pinned on this.

DH and I decided to adopt in August. It is something we had talked about extensively the previous 6 months, and emotionally, I knew I couldn't take another miscarriage. We decided to adopt from Russia. In early January we got the call and headed out to Russia to meet our son. Russia requires 2 trips -- one to meet the child, and the 2nd trip to adopt. While we were there, we realized that my period just wasn't showing up. We attributed it to the trip. The year before we were in England and I was 3 weeks late. The stress of the trip and everything (I'm a horrible traveler). When we got back, already totally in love with the son that would be ours in a little over a month, we tested. I was sure it would be negative, but it wasn't! We were very happy, but overwhelmed at the same time. Our kids would only be 13 months apart! At the same time, I was petrified of miscarrying again.

The week before our trip to adopt Nathan we had our first prenatal appointment. Everything seemed fine. The next day, Tuesday, we had an ultrasound. I was a nervous wreck! The ultrasound showed a tiny little fetus! We were relieved and excited! We thought that maybe this time things would work out. The next morning I woke up and my underwear was full of blood. I freaked, certain I had miscarried. After an examination and another ultrasound, I learned that my baby was still there, and I was bleeding where the placenta meets the uterine wall. The doctor said it's not uncommon, but we would still have to wait and see.

Imagine what a wreck I was! I had to leave in less than a week to travel all the way to Russia or risk losing my son, but at the same time, I didn't know if the travelling would make my condition worse. The doctor prescribed progesterone gel, and off we were to Russia.

We were in Russia for 2 weeks, and the bleeding stopped the day before we left to come home. I haven't (knock on wood) bled since. Our second prenatal appointment was 2 weeks ago and we heard the heartbeat! I'm still scared though. Am I going to feel this way up until the baby is born? I'm so scared that if I do or say the wrong thing I'll jinx myself and lose the baby. All our friends and family know as of last weekend, and I'm afraid that now that everyone knows, I'll lose the baby.

Right now I'm about 13 weeks along -- finally through the first trimester. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be okay.

Julie (28)

Alex (29) and

Nathan (7 months)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:22pm
Julie- Wow, what a story. Good luck to you!! Hang in there and think a positvely as you can (which I know is hard to do - cause I am in a similar situation to you and it is a daily stuggle to think happy positive thoughts). I am guessing that we will be worrying the whole nine months and won't be relaxed until the day we are holding our new baby. Keep us posted on your progress.

Take care!

Amy

Mom to Jacob Ryan 5/22/03-5/30/03

EDD: 9/26/04

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 8:00am

Julie


Welcome to the board.

Krista - Mommy to Gabriel (June 10, 2004)

Proud to be CL of Pregnant after a loss board 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 8:33am
Julie,

They really need a WOW! icon. Your story is amazing; it gave me chills reading it. Congrats on your new son and your PG!! I've heard that that can happen. Couples decide to adopt a child and soon afterward they end up pregnant! I'll have to ask you some questions later about your adoption. I've often thought about adopting a child, even if I could have my own children.

I hope you won't have anymore bleeding and that you will be holding your new little bundle of joy this September! Crossing my fingers for you that the rest of the pregnancy will go smoothly for you!

Congrats!! And welcome to the board!

Lynn

edd 9/19

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 10:02am
Julie,

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. I wish you a very long pregnancy. I have never had to struggle with infertility until this last pregnancy. I have always had trouble carrying a child, but never conceiving one, so when I lost my last pregnancy and had to struggle against so much hardship to conceive this time it just took something out of me. The hopelessness you feel at not being able to do something that all women should be able to do. I had mentioned in one of my earliest posts that if things were not to work out this time that I was not sure that I would ever try again because it just takes so much out of you just to conceive, let alone deal with the pain of losing something you have worked so hard for. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have made it past the awful first trimester, so here is to the next trimester when some of your fears will start to fade little by little, and you can finally rub your swollen tummy and think about the baby. :)

P.S. Congratulations on your little boy. I bet he is wonderful.

Heather 8/5/04

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 10:55am
Hi Julie & welcome to the board. It seems kinda funny saying that seeing I've only been here for a couple days myself. Sounds like you've had a lot going on. Congratulations on your pg & adoption too. Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Lynn

5 weeks

Lynn

EDD:  1/27/06

BLOG

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 11:16am
Welcome to the board Julie! Congratulations on your pregnancy and the adoption of your son. Your story is amazing. I'm so sorry for all you've been through with infertility, then the loss of your baby. I can't imagine what it must be like to try to conceive for so long, then to lose the baby. It just seems so unfair.

But things now sound wonderful....a new son, a baby on the way. I'm really happy for you. You've made it through the first trimester, the scariest time. I pray your remaining pregnancy is happy, healthy, and uneventful.

Enjoy every minute of it!

Linda

Linda
Avatar for alexeyev
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 4:01pm
Welcome, Julie!

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Goodness, you've really been through quite an ordeal, but look at how amazing everything is now! You're practically in Trimester 2 and you've got your little Nathan coming to you! That's really fantastic! I guess the saying, "When it rains, it pours!" is applicable to good news too!

I do hope I'm not being a total downer by saying this, but I don't think you can count on your worrying every really fading away! I'm 32 weeks along with our first child and I still stress. Its very hard, but you've really reached quite a milestone! I think you're going to be here stressing out with the rest of us for the next 7 or 8 months!

Best to you!

Alexeyev

Eva

Lucia (5/10/04) & Tique

 

Image hosted by Photobucket.com