Pregnant again and scared too death

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Pregnant again and scared too death
11
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 4:28pm
Hi Everyone,

I'm new here. I have a beautiful 23 month old little girl. My husband and I tried to have another one back in Dec. We were excited. Six weeks into the pregnancy, I woke up to find myself miscarriaging. It's been 4 months now and I just found out I'm pregnant. I was so scared I didn't even want to look at the results. My cycles were so irregular that I don't even know when my last abnormal cycle was... all I know is that I haven't had a mense for a month. I finallly after much shaking forced myself to see the results. I'm pregnant. I'm excited but my scared feelings are overwhelming my feelings of joy. Is this normal? Can anyone relate? I just don't want to lose this baby. I would not be able to handle it again. I'm so nervous when I called the dr's office to make an appt, I blurrted out I went into the hot tub once just for a dip and went swimming with my baby. She told me to relax and it was ok. I don't know I'm so scared. Thanks for listening.

Jenn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 5:35pm
Jenn...these feelings are completely normal when you have suffered a loss.

Our Angels
~i~ 9/10/94; ~i~ 12/8/99; ~i~ 11/4/02; ~i~ 2/12/03;
~i~ 4/15

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 10:33pm
Kristan,

Thank you. I thought I was going crazy. Driving to the dr's this afternoon I kept saying Jenn don't get to attached... don't get to attached, then I found myself crying at the stop light saying "G-d please don't take this one." The dr said I might be around 5 to 6 weeks. Since my menses were so irregular I don't know when I had a normal cycle. She's going to do a ultrasound in 3 weeks. She doesn't want to do it now because she doesn't want to scare me after what I've been through which makes total sense. She also said not to pick up my daughter and walk with her like I do. Have her walk with me instead, no excessive walking or shopping take it easy basically until Ihit the 3 month mark. Hell if I have to sit on my side of the sofa with my feet up so be it. LOL

Thanks for your kind words.

Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 11:06pm
I am with you on this one. I am pregnant again after 2 m/c last year and I cannot bring myself to be happy YET. I will be 11 weeks next Tues and look forward to my 2nd u/s at 12 weeks when you're supposed to be in the clear. I have been told to "lighten up" and things like that but no one knows what we've been through physically and mentally.

I will pray for you like I pray for all my virtuall friends on this site.


Lots of love and baby dust.

Karen:) ~|~ April 2, 2003

~|~ Oct 20, 2003

BABY T EDD: Dec 29, 2004 :)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 11:15am
With me it's extra difficult. I made a mess of my insides when I was younger and stupid. I was with my 1st boyfriend who cheated on me which I never knew until I became pg when I was 17. I went to the dr's I'll never forget it.. it was Thanksgiving day. I went to the urgent care, the dr was mean as mean as can be. He checked me coldly, then said your pregnant and you have PID. Didn't explain crapola, just handed me a prescription and said tell your "partners". Mean a-hole. I only had 1 person in my life. I confronted my ex at the time and he admitted to his indescretions. I winded up having an abortion as they didn't know how long I had this STD and how it affected the baby. I was the hardest decision for me. Then years later I married my wonderful husband and we couldn't have a baby. Since my dr knew my history he didn't make me wait the usual 1 year mark, he called me in right away at the 6 month mark. He wanted to see if I was fertile. We bought a fertility kit at the drug store and to our happiness after 6 months of fruitless trying we have our beautiful daughter, Kaylie. Now after this m/c I feel the guilt of my previous decision.

Like you said no one understands what we go through. Last night my husand said stop thinking about it. I can't I told him it's mental, it's here in my mind. You know since the m/c I haven't had 1 drop of coffee. I was just weaning off when I m/c. Since then no coffee for about 4 months now and I think it has scared me in some strange way.

I'll pray for you too. Thanks. I think I might stop into the synagouge to sit and pray. I did that when I m/c got all my anger out and sobbing. I think that helped me alot. Maybe this Saturday after our appt I'll find one close to my cousin's house.

Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 1:40pm

Jen,


Congrats on your PG and welcome to the board.

Krista - Mommy to Gabriel (June 10, 2004)

Proud to be CL of Pregnant after a loss board 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:52pm
Krista,

This might not be the best idea but for right now I'm "pretending" I'm not pg until I see everything's ok at the ultra sound. I'm eating right, taking all my vitamins and calcuim and picking up my prenatal meds this afternoon. Drinking so much water all over again oh jeez I forgot how much I drank. LOL And after I'm past the 12 week mark I will tell everyone. Not like I did the last time I was so excited I told everyone right away then had to untell everyone. That was very hard.

Thanks for the advice. Thanks for the baby sticky vibes too...

Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 7:58pm
i guess we all got that fear i know i doo i woerry alot about the babe i am 5 week i had my m/c nov 31 03 i am exsided but i am soo sceared that something is going to go wrong i know how it feel i want too cry but i dont want too get wored up even know the worrying wount go away injoy what god has given you again and pray all you can i know we all do( babe are miracles and we all pray)keep your head up high and think positive that always helps and congrads!

sky

m/c nov 03

EDD feb 03,05

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Sun, 06-06-2004 - 11:39pm
I went to my cousin's picnic on Sat. They had all kinds of things to do. BUT they had my favorite.... psyhic readers. LOL She was so right on you guys. She told me I was pregnant, that I have not been sleeping through the night and having night terrors because of the m/c. It was all true. I was worried not only awake but in my sleep too. She told me not to worry that everything was ok with the baby. That I was going to carry the baby to term but I had to fight my inner demons of depression to enjoy this baby. She also told me I was going to have another girl!

I know this is crazy but since talking to the psychic last night guys I slept through the night. I find myself now holding my tummy and actually allowing myself to touch my little pooch. Plus I don't worry each time I go to the bathroom either wondering what I might find although I must admit each time I take a peak before I flush to see it's not.... ya know. I think it's a mental thing like a scar in the mind that's hard to erase. My hubby too poor thing. Each time I have a twinge he says "are you ok? Is everything ok? Is it like "last time?". It scared him too. Are anyone else's husband's like that?

Thanks for everyone's prayers. I will pray for everyone too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sat, 06-12-2004 - 6:48pm
Jenn,

I just wanted to tell you that I know how you feel. We just found out we are pregnant again. We have had 4 miscarriages in the last 2 years. I am praying so hard that we don't lose this one! We were on clomed this month. I hope that makes the difference! God Bless you and we will be praying for you. Kim
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Sat, 06-12-2004 - 10:09pm
Hi, Amber here. My edd is 1/28/05 and I have been so scared with this pg. I had a m/c last november. I never even thought about miscarrage happening to me with my 1st pg and told every one the same day I did the hpt and it came out positive. It only took us 1 1/2 months to get pg. At 6 1/2 weeks I m/c. No fore warning, no spotting just cramps (which my dm told me was nothing) and then tisue. I just barely made it to the hospital. I lost it right there in there bathroom. They asked me to empty my bladder before my exam. Everything emptied. 5 minutes later it was confirmed by the dr (even though I already new). I have loved kids and have always wanted to be a mom. I want three. My husband wants five. Finally I'm pg again and so scared. I had a dream that first week that I woke up and was covered in blood. When I woke up I swore I was going to look down and see blood but I didnt. I'm 7 weeks now so I made it past my m/c week but still havent seen a dr. I'm trying to do everything the oppisite this time. It was only 2 days after my dr. app. I had the m/c. I only told my parents and his. I dont want to go through the untelling again, its so hard. I'm scared that when I get a u/s in 3 weeks there will be no baby. I have all the symptoms (sb, ms, tired, ect.)but we want this baby so bad that I feel like we are going to be one of those couples who want kids really bad but cant. My dh doesnt say much I know he thinks about it. Probably not half as much as me though. Well enough of my rant/vent. This web site is so great I can tell everyone and you girls know where Ive been and how hard its been. Thank you, Amber :)

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