When did you tell people?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
When did you tell people?
2
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 12:26pm
I'm just over 14 weeks now and only my parents, sister, BIL and two friends know we are expecting again. DH's brother and family are coming today but we don't want to tell them yet. We were thinking of waiting until my FIL comes for a visit but I'll be 18/19 weeks at the time. Is that too late to start spreading the news? My MIL passed away on Feb 1 this year and my due date is Feb 4th. DH is not on good terms with several of his siblings (he's from a large family) and we are worried that they might start making snide remarks. I don't want the added stress, but we have to tell them sometime. Is it better to just get it over with, or wait another month?

Susan

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 3:33pm
Susan,

Who & how we told people depended on how the people had responded to our mc. If they were supportive we told them early on, my mom & sister knew before I had my 2nd blood test. We let others know at 6w when I got a hb (blighted ovum last time). At 12w told friends that were not quite as close, but close enough. Told the neighbors after my 18w u/s & knew the gender of the baby. Dh still has one friend who has no idea & I asked if that's just too crazy seeing I'm showing enough people are guessing. (His friend was here yesterday.) Dh shrugged his shoulder's & said let him think I'm getting fat. This particular friend just did not understand dh's anguish at all.

Tell when you feel comfortable.... BUT DO NOT SHUN YOUR EXCITEMENT!! You deserve to be just as excited as the niave pg lady. If your finding it difficult to not tell his family while they are visiting, perhaps you need to rethink staying quiet. If you're finding it easy not to tell them then you've chosen correctly.

As for the remarks, who cares??? Really, this is your life, your family & your dreams! If you hear any snide remarks, roll your eyes & be done with it. No reason to harbor what is said.

Bonnie (23w)




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 5:13pm
Susan-

Too bad you aren't in my shoes-my parents have told the entire world that I'm pg-so there's no one left for me to tell. When we told them we said we would like them to wait until then 2nd trimester before they started to tell anyone other than family. I guess they didn't hear that part through all of their exciement because it was announced the next day at church, all of our extended family already knew about it when I saw them last weekend, my best friend from high school found out through her mom, etc... see a pattern here? I'm not very happy that they did this-but guess there's nothing I can do & it's great that they're excited. We have yet to tell any college friends, but will probably start telling them before too long.

Basically I stole your topic to vent-sorry. I think you should tell whenever you're ready. I told my family about 2 weeks after DH told his family-just because I could never get it to come out. I figued if it was that hard to tell I shouldn't force it. (And somehow I knew it would be broadcast throughout the entire world.) Good luck & belly rubs!

-Laura

#1 EDD 2/6